BlueSkiesAhead

Hello All,
I have been doing very well since I quit 48 days ago, I have been active in meetings, working the steps seriously and talking with other recovering people quite a bit. Have a lot going on in my life right now, my father is dying, ended a very serious relationship of 5 1/2 years and my little sister has cancer. Being sober these past 48 days has allowed me to deal with my own pain, and be there for my family. I have a very optimistic outlook in spite of what is going on around me, and I owe that to my sobriety, which I am very committed to.
One of the recovering people I reach out to, sent me a short e-mail today that is haunting me. I spoke with them yesterday at length, and opened up honestly about everything going on, and my commitment to stay sober. They have been sober for 20 years and I have utmost respect for their opinion, and wisdom. I assured them yesterday that my optimistic outlook was not the "pink cloud", as I have been there, and done that many years ago. This time I have my feet firmly planted on the ground and my commitment is genuine. I have done this before, having been sober for 10 years myself, then losing sight of how important every day is.
After my conversation yesterday, I received the e-mail today that simply said-" Don't quit before the miracle happens"
I am confused by their statement. I never have given any indication that I was going to give up, or had anything less than a wholehearted commitment to staying sober. I have tried to contact them to get clarification, but cannot reach them. To those who have been sober for a while, why would someone I trust and respect say this to me? I am committed to not quitting period, and am looking forward to "the miracle" that is getting my life back and being free again. I felt that for 10 years and I know how sweet it is.
Any help greatly appreciated, it has been gnawing at me all day.
Thank You, BSA

least

Maybe it was just meant as encouragement, and not a dire "prediction". Don't put any meaning into it until you can speak to the person who sent it.

PurpleKnight

Sounds like an encouragement, especially if it was an email, don't stress until you speak to the person who sent it!!

Dee74

I've used the same words here as encouragement

Thats an awful lot to deal with, no matter how strong your commitment.
We, all of us, have stresses strains and bad days.

I think it was a genuine empathetic response to the incredibly difficult things you have to deal with, not any doubt in your capability or commitment.

Don't look too hard for hidden messages, BSA.

D

GotGrace

Hey, I just want to say I understand why this kind of ruffled your feathers. I agree with everyone above, that it was most likely meant as simple encouragement. But I can see why it didn't seem fitting; it is a bit patronizing in light of your past experience and how committed you are to lifelong sobriety now. Kind of like you said, "things are tough, but I don't plan to quit," and the other person said, "oh no! You might quit! Please don't quit!""

I think your friend just missed the mark in trying to encourage you.

By the way, great job on 48 days and good luck with all that is going on in your life!

BlueSkiesAhead

Hello Again,
Thank You GotGrace, and Dee. I guess I needed to put it out to the forum, and get your opinions. Dee, I did relate the things I am going through and this person said just that "that is a lot to deal with", so you all have most likely hit the nail on the head. I spent the entire morning with my father and had some very serious talks about his passing with him. I came home and always look forward to the wisdom that this person has because they have been there, and I so much respect the person they are and the life they lead. Their e-mail was so short, with no explanation, and I guess I was a bit of a raw nerve when I read it. It is a very sobering thing spending time with anyone close to death. My father cannot use his legs and is in a lot of pain.
I think anyone considering taking that first drink, needs to spend an hour in a nursing home or hospice center. It puts this precious life we have in perspective. We have no freedom if we pick up, and we are close to death. I thought that several times today watching and talking with my father. Be grateful not only for every day, but every breath you take.
Thank You all for putting it in perspective.

Dee74

It is a little obtuse for anyone not familiar with the saying...I guess he didn't think of that

I am very sorry for all you're going through but your commitment to being there for others, as well as to your recovery is inspirational BSA

D

BlueSkiesAhead

Thanks again all.
SR is such an uplifting resource, with so much wisdom and experience. I feel much better, almost a little stupid for putting it out there, but even though it ate at me today, it actually fortified my own commitment to staying sober. I have said it before and you all have heard it, but I always remind myself when dealing with life on life's terms:
SOBER = Son Of a B**** Everything's Real.

Thanks again everyone!

SoberRican

Hang in there it gets greater later

PhoenixJ

BSA- an interesting question. Many times I have had feedback delivered that I think means something was more grandiose and threatening than it is.
To me- do not give up beforethe miracle begins, means stuff DOES get hard, but we persist and over time- we see the results. I do not think any message of you being thought of a a quitter was the intent.

boreas

BSA- Use of this quote is attributed to Fannie Flagg in a novel called I Still Dream About You. I’ve not read it, but I am familiar with her Fried Green Tomatoes as the movie was filmed near where I used to live. Not saying this is the first use, as I know it is used within the AA program.

She writes about women in the south, and this novel is apparently about a young woman with model/beauty queen aspirations and her struggles pursuing that dream. Nothing to do with addiction.

To me, it means simply that there is always another miracle around the corner. I’m so hesitant to post in the “how long until you feel better” threads, as my life has continued to improve since I quit. I felt 100% better at 30 days, 1000% better at a year, and it just keeps going. Sobriety, like life, is a gift that keeps on giving the longer you pursue it.

The important thing, and I think the quote means only this, is that no matter how difficult and challenging things get, there is always something better on the horizon. Nothing remains the same. Healing is never complete, and if you continue to care for yourself and others there is the promise of something better around the next corner. We never run out of miracles. For me, it is to convey encouragement, nothing more.

Best wishes with your current struggles. FWIW, your commitment to sobriety shines through in your post above.
-bora

sugarbear1

You are 48 days sober, which means you are very self-centered now, so yeah, relax, you are putting too much into that simple statement which is an old AA saying.

Live And Let Live
One Day At A Time
Easy Does It
Don't Quit Before The Miracle Happens

Keep It Simple, don't complicate AA.