Courage To Change 07/18/14
Behold the power of NO
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Courage To Change 07/18/14
We often come to Al-Anon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better and faster if we try harder. But Al-Anon involves a long-term process of growth and change. Our efforts to speed up this process are more likely to interfere with it, leaving us frustrated and depressed. In Al-Anon we learn that “Easy Does It.” The work often gets done when we stop pushing. When I first came to Al-Anon I heard that, although we learn to entrust our lives and our future to a Power greater than ourselves, we must do our part as well. With my usual fervor I threw myself into doing “footwork.” I made at least ten Al-Anon calls every day and began a frantic effort to practice all Twelve Steps at once. No wonder I was soon overwhelmed—and exhausted. Today I know that I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don’t help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace.
Today’s Reminder
I take my commitment to recovery seriously, but I can’t expect to recover overnight. When I approach my life with an “Easy Does It” attitude, I treat myself and the world around me gently and lovingly.
When we try to absorb too much too quickly in Al‑Anon, we may be discouraged . . .. We would be wise to take it slowly, concentrating on one idea at a time.“"
One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
I take my commitment to recovery seriously, but I can’t expect to recover overnight. When I approach my life with an “Easy Does It” attitude, I treat myself and the world around me gently and lovingly.
When we try to absorb too much too quickly in Al‑Anon, we may be discouraged . . .. We would be wise to take it slowly, concentrating on one idea at a time.“"
One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Ha! My counselor told me earlier this week that I seem to be really struggling with my inability to control everything that everyone does all the time. I looked at her and said "okay, so I'm controlling. How do I fix that?" She looked at me blankly. Obviously I fix that by going to counseling and going to alanon and becoming progressively more aware of my choices and actions. I just want her to tell me to skip backwards five times and count backwards from 30 at noon and then bam! My controlling tendencies will be gone.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by Stung 
Ha! My counselor told me earlier this week that I seem to be really struggling with my inability to control everything that everyone does all the time. I looked at her and said "okay, so I'm controlling. How do I fix that?" She looked at me blankly. Obviously I fix that by going to counseling and going to alanon and becoming progressively more aware of my choices and actions. I just want her to tell me to skip backwards five times and count backwards from 30 at noon and then bam! My controlling tendencies will be gone.
Yeah, admitting it was the first step for me. Recognizing it. Then yeah, I want that magic formula to fix it. NOW!
My steps inventory helped a lot, just as far as awareness. Now I'm working on my steps 8 and 9 amends, which terrified me, but has been positive as well. I never realized how much "stuff" I picked up from my mom (who incidentally also does not think she has issues with being controlling, no matter how many times I've tried to point that put to her. D'oh!).
Anyway, progress not perfection. Plus I love that Janet Jackson song, so "Control" can't be all bad, right?
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