Today was really hard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Boise Idaho
Posts: 76
Today was really hard
So I am on day 9, and today was really hard in terms of craving alcohol. The thing was, I wasn't craving a drink because I was having a rough day, or was in a bad mood. I was craving a drink because I felt good! For some reason, I found this much more difficult to deal with than urges that have come up when I am feeling bad. I was having a wonderful, incredibly productive day, and then BAM! I didn't let it ruin my wonderful day, and I didn't give in and drink, but it did kind of catch me off guard a bit. I guess I have spent so much energy making a plan for how to cope with the urge to drink during difficult times, that I kind of forgot to have a plan for what to do during the good times! I am also learning that I used alcohol as a response to just about any emotion or feeling that I have, and it's a very new experience to deal with my emotions sober (all these feeeeeeeeelings!)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
hey giochick 
yeah most of us plan for those bad feelings and can be blindsided by the good ones...
But you hung in there and negotiated things...and next time it'll be that little bit easier
way to go
D
yeah most of us plan for those bad feelings and can be blindsided by the good ones...
But you hung in there and negotiated things...and next time it'll be that little bit easier
way to go
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Keep pushing through!! I always think that the good times if alcohol is added to them will become the not so good very quickly!!
You can do this, we all just need to find out how to relax and celebrate without our old friend alcohol!!
You can do this, we all just need to find out how to relax and celebrate without our old friend alcohol!!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
me too.
I can navigate (for the most part) when I'm in a craptastic, crotchety mood...it's when I'm feeling all "everything's comin' up Jennifer" days that really mess with my head.
In fact, and I was thinking about this A LOT. My last binge in May that got me my 2nd DUI...I was GREAT. There was nothing I can think of that was grating at me. Work was fine, relationship was fine, I was taking care of myself (HA!) well...working out, eating right, hadn't drank in about 5.5weeks...life was going ok.
To this day, I have ZERO recollection of even going to the store and buying the wine. I've said in a few threads, I feel like I was taken over by the body snatchers. I felt like I was ambushed. Total blackout on what exactly got me to the driving part.
pretty freakin' scary.
So, now I know....it's when the good vibes start that I need to be REALLY diligent and on the ball with where I'm at inside or I'm going to get blindsided.
I can navigate (for the most part) when I'm in a craptastic, crotchety mood...it's when I'm feeling all "everything's comin' up Jennifer" days that really mess with my head.
In fact, and I was thinking about this A LOT. My last binge in May that got me my 2nd DUI...I was GREAT. There was nothing I can think of that was grating at me. Work was fine, relationship was fine, I was taking care of myself (HA!) well...working out, eating right, hadn't drank in about 5.5weeks...life was going ok.
To this day, I have ZERO recollection of even going to the store and buying the wine. I've said in a few threads, I feel like I was taken over by the body snatchers. I felt like I was ambushed. Total blackout on what exactly got me to the driving part.
pretty freakin' scary.
So, now I know....it's when the good vibes start that I need to be REALLY diligent and on the ball with where I'm at inside or I'm going to get blindsided.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Great job staying sober on one of those "I think I'll celebrate all the great feelings of sobriety with a drink" days!
Society and our personal experience have taught us to celebrate good feelings with a drink. Over time this has become so habitual that we don't know of any way to reward ourselves except by drinking. So we don't feel completed in a good feeling unless it's capped off with alcohol -- we crave that habitual reward.
You can retrain your mind and body on a different reward system. During early days, a lot of people use sugar -- ice cream is popular LOL -- and I even started smoking, which I don't recommend. Exercise also works for people.
Don't quit quitting -- you're doing great!
Society and our personal experience have taught us to celebrate good feelings with a drink. Over time this has become so habitual that we don't know of any way to reward ourselves except by drinking. So we don't feel completed in a good feeling unless it's capped off with alcohol -- we crave that habitual reward.
You can retrain your mind and body on a different reward system. During early days, a lot of people use sugar -- ice cream is popular LOL -- and I even started smoking, which I don't recommend. Exercise also works for people.
Don't quit quitting -- you're doing great!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
I was also a reward drinker - and a misery drinker. I had a drink to reward myself for things all the time. Now, the routine is missing and it's strange. I can totally relate. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I guess the big reward is good health, appearance, and peace of mind.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
giochick, I liked your header because it said to me that although the day was hard, you didn't cave. That's impressive, and it's made you stronger.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling good because I wasn't a 'drown your sorrows' type myself. Drinking was for relaxing, winding down, celebrating and having a good time. Alcohol's great for those times, but if you're an alcoholic like me it becomes a poison.
Now you know your AV will pounce, you can be ready for it and put it back in it's box.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling good because I wasn't a 'drown your sorrows' type myself. Drinking was for relaxing, winding down, celebrating and having a good time. Alcohol's great for those times, but if you're an alcoholic like me it becomes a poison.
Now you know your AV will pounce, you can be ready for it and put it back in it's box.
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