carguysgirl

My Mom has taken these last few years to telling stories to me about her and my fathers marriage and how delightful it was. She's nostalgic and sweet and seems to see herself as a mourning widow not a woman who's husband abandoned his family entirely and with no warning which completely broke my heart
When she refers to him to me as Daddy it not only makes me cringe it evokes the same level of emotional stress that led me to cutting myself as a young teen. I don't of course-i grit my teeth and limit my visits.
I asked my sister if Mom does the same to her and she said no. She never mentions him.
This weekend we'll all be together. It will be a good visit. My sister will be there the whole time, and my sisters kids.
An added plus being that Mom won't smoke cigarettes around the grandkids so her lungs will catch a few hours break!

happybeingme

Have you tried simply telling her you would rather not hear her tell stories about your father?

carguysgirl

It should be simple. I've been after her for so many things for so many years and she reacts so that it's become easier to accept her and smh grit my teeth. She has emphysema and copd and leukemia and can hardly breathe. I asked in many ways over the years got her to stop. It caused only anger between us. Although I'm the one who got after her for smoking for decades I'm the only one she still smokes around. She brags she'll die smoking with an oxygen tank. I'm just through trying to explain the obvious to my Mom. Ty for the thought-hope I didn't come off snappy.