July1

I slipped, and am starting over this morning in Germany.

Lots of perfectly good reasons-- great report from my kids' teachers; my almost-ex is with someone else; How about a combination celebration and sorrow-drowning?

Anyway, this morning I start again. so July1 will now have to remember a new date, July 9. After 8 days of not drinking, I'm STILL healthier than I could have been; and the grogginess this morning is an inspiration.

I wasn't ready to watch the Germany/Brazil game in a bar. Duh.

As an interesting observation from the game-- the most lopsided German victory since the invasion of Poland. . . . . . . Since you were kind enough to read this post, I'll share:

If you know anything about soccer, and if you got anywhere near a news or sports channel, you know last night's game was unique in soccer history. 5-0 at the half. The early goals were celebrated by the Germans-- who were less drunk than an American sports bar crowd would have been. The next few goals were greeted with disbelief.

But then the cameras started showing Brazilian fans crying in the stands. An odd mood overtook the place.

But for the German team and for me and for anyone who has gone through this, it's all about the NEXT game. So now I start a new game after my loss last night, dust myself off, cry a little, and think about how much better my life is when I don't drink.

Raider

So how are you doing?

July1

I'm good this morning, thanks Raider. I was never a morning drinker, so I won't have to fight any battles for a few hours; but I'll be ready today, and I won't be in a bar. . . . .

Good to learn where I stand. I hope you can tough it out too.

Weaver

Other than not going to a bar to watch a sporting event which involves your very country , what do you plan to do differently ?

July1

Good question, Weaver. . . . . . Actually I'm not German, but--

The problem I have now is like many people here. In my case, my wife is asking for separation, but because of the kids we are thrown together. Dealing with sudden emotional stress, where something painful is thrown in your face, is the hard part.

One can plan better, not go to a bar, keep booze out of the house, etc; that's easy.

So I'm open to suggestions!

PS the separation is coming about not for direct issues of my drinking; but over the years there's no doubt I was more of a sourpuss than I would've been if I hadn't started up again.

MythOfSisyphus

Sorry to hear of your troubles, July1. We often want to group all our troubles together in one lump; drinking, relationship problems, etc. But really addiction is its own kind of trouble. It often leads to the other problems, but indulging in drinking will never make any of them better. I realize it's easier said than done since drinking is how many of us have been trained to cope, but you need to try to separate it in your mind.

The fact that you're here and trying to stop probably means your drinking has reached a point where you've recognized that it's a big problem. Most of us drink as long as we can and only stop when we've run out of options. You sound like you've run out of time and want to stop.

For me AVRT was a great help, as is this forum. I guess there's no "shortcut", and as the old saying goes, "If you're going through hell- keep going!" When you come out the other side things can get better.

I don't know your situation or if stopping now can salvage your relationship with your wife. But it can't hurt. And it will sure help your relationship with your kids. Ultimately you have to do it for yourself, not for anyone else.

Hang in there. I've been through a divorce and it's really tough, no way around it. I swam right to bottom of a liquor bottle then and I can tell you it didn't help any.

coming_clean

Tonight we (Holland ole ole) will play against argentinia and maybe win,

Germany vs. Holland as neightbours in the WK finals that would be an awsome match!

bellaboos

Hi July, well done for only having a short relapse
I try and deal with stress by avoiding it, easier said than done I know but I pick my battles and try not to let it overwhelm me. I have had a hugely stressful year, which is why my drinking escalated. Looking back now I would have dealt with everything so much better had I been sober. I felt like everything was out of control and drinking was my time to relax, avoid, reward etc. Or at least that's what I told myself. In reality it added to my sense of failure, low self esteem and made every day tougher. I can't control the world but if I drink I lose all control of my mind and without that I have nothing. The way I see it now is I made every excuse to myself to drink and to justify it because it was a crutch and I just couldn't imagine facing life sober. Finally accepting that I can never drink again has been a relief. It's one less battle in my head and life has suddenly become more manageable
P.s can relate to the relapse, mine was in the pub watching a rugby match. It's all learning..I won't put myself in that situation again

July1

Thanks for the kind words everyone; I'm feeling pretty good, heading to the gym, grateful for the support.

I'll be watching Holland v Argentina tonight at home on my sofa, in a dry house.

I might be dumb, but I'm not stupid!

PurpleKnight

Go at it again!! You'll get there!!

Mizzuno

Ya, what is up with all the crying over the game? This football stuff is soooo serious. Im glad that you dusted yourself off and your giving it another good try. We are here to support it all.

Raider

Keep at it!!!