joshlyman

I've been sober for two weeks now but I'm still suffering from some of the stuff I said when I was drunk. When people tell me what I said in a drunk/blackout I'm mortified. And ashamed. And I can't believe it came out of MY mouth. I've ruined work relationships because of stuff I said. Can anyone relate?

SoberHoopsFan

I would turn my phone off (sometimes for a couple days) after a bad blackout. I always feared the worst. I know I've said unforgivable things before and have lost friends and relationships because of it. The good thing is by not drinking we never have to go through that again. You have to learn to forgive yourself, as tough as it might be. Carrying around a ton of guilt/shame for an extended period of time always led me right back to the bottle.

mecanix

Hey Joshlyman ,
sure a load of old guff came out my mouth when drunk .
If someone mentions the past i say "when i was drunk a load of rubbish come out my mouth , it's why i don't drink nowadays" .

There is not much you can do other than make a prompt apology and accept that its another very good reason as to why you should stay sober ..

Keep on , m

MariahGayle

Forgive yourself Josh - We cannot undo - just move forward. I have been using affirmations such as "I let go of shame & guilt".....I repeat this 4-5 times at the end of the day when I'm by myself before I go to sleep at night. May sound silly, but really helps me to release those feelings.

hokey

Try to focus on today Josh ... not the past, not the future ... just be sober today and you don't have to worry about what you say, today.

Raider

I like this response Josh.

joshlyman

I aim to focus on today but sometimes that is unrealistic. My drunk words have consequences, even though I am sober. I've owned up to it, saying I was drunk, but it doesn't make it any easier. Unfortunately for me my drunk words are still relevant today even though I am sober. My drunk words carried over to today. It sucks.

But I'm not drinking so I won't say anything else! thanks to SR

Melina

Hi joshlyman,

Yeah I have gotten myself into many problems drinking 'loudmouth soup.'

I slapped my boss once when we were out drinking. It was a half dare that no one thought I would do. It was 8 years ago and I'm still ashamed.

The awful cringing you feel when you reach for your phone in the morning, scared to check the texts you sent and the fb posts is a very familiar feeling for me as well.

I wish that was enough motivation to make us quit. It can certainly be used as a tool if we are able to forgive ourselves and try to be better than the drunken, offensive slobs we were.

I used to be the life of the party until my actions became so bad I stopped getting invited.

I don't want that for my future.

Hang in there.

If we don't drink, we won't do stuff like that anymore.

Sending you good wishes,
Melina

joshlyman

wow Melinda thanks for the post. I too was uninvited for every company outing big or small. It got to the point that my coworkers did not want to drink with me. I can't blame them. The stuff I said in my last blackout got a manager fired and other work relationships tarnished.

PurpleKnight

I've definitly done and said things whilst drunk that I've regretted, but we can't change the past, only move forward and build a more positive Sober future we can now be proud of!!

Dee74

Hi Josh

It is possible to get over embarrassments.
I did and said some pretty mortifying things as a drinker.

I think it will take more than 2 weeks tho

Give yourself a chance. Fill your new sober life with good things, and do good things.

Be the man you want to be and, soon, the past will not matter as much. or loom as large

I promise

D

ktwsober

Thanks for the post, yes I had really big drunk mouth and some fingers that just would text anybody anything at any time. It still lingers sometimes 14 months into sobriety, but both You and I are sober and better now

Jupiters

Don't judge me by my past, I don't live there anymore

I have massive wreckage in the wakes of my blackouts, I think we all do.

try to not beat yourself up too much, or wallow b/c we can't change a damned thing anyways. We just can't. All we can do, is stay sober and make sure that it doesn't happen again. Time and people are forgiving I am learning

jallisse

I did exactly this 2 days ago and the stuff I said has been running around my head all day. The responses on this thread have been really helpful thanks

Hevyn

Hi Josh. It's so good you wanted to talk about this. One of the best things about SR is, you're never alone with these thoughts.

I definitely did and said many out-of-character things when drunk. I was so humiliated & filled with remorse - but it was affecting my sobriety, so I had to forgive myself and move forward. Remembering how out of control we get is fine - but constantly berating ourselves for things we did unintentionally does nothing but hold us down. People will forget - what you do from now on is what really counts. You're doing great.

FreeOwl

it's kinda all been said, but I'll echo that in time, these feelings fade and are replaced by a confident self love and a firm grounding in being a person you can look in the eye with honor and conviction and trust.

In time, none of those embarrassing or troubling words or deeds will matter much. The light of the person you are will outshine even the darkest mistakes of the past.

Hang in there and keep working that sobriety.

LBrain

Hevyn touched on it. You must be able to forgive yourself. Then move on...