Rats, I think I went forward a step and back two...
Rats, I think I went forward a step and back two...
After my wonderful moment of detachment the other night, I slipped a little last night.
We worked at our church bazaar yesterday from 9a.m. til 4 in the afternoon and it took dear hubby 3.2 seconds to have a beer in hand when we were done, that's fine I was finally going to go see my cousin and he wasn't joining me so I didn't have to deal with it. I picked him up from the local tavern on my way home, here in Podunk the tavern closes at 10 on Sundays. We come in the house and as I have been on the dead run all day, I flopped on the couch and begged him for ten minutes of silence, which as you know is a nearly impossible thing for a slobbering drunk to accomplish. He started in on the "I wish I could drive" thing, berating all of the lovely people who work for the state, all the way down to the officer who arrested him for his THIRD DUI. They don't care if you're rehabilitated or not, they are just a bunch of assholes. I only have three dui's I know guys still driving with six because they know the right people or have a lot of $$$. Please, please feel sorry for me because everyone is just picking on me, boo hoo...
Well, I snapped. I couldn't take it any more. "Do you REALLY think YOU are rehabilitated????? Can you honestly tell me if they gave you your license back tomorrow that you wouldn't be driving drunk in two weeks??? As for not getting any breaks, this was your THIRD offense, you should still be sitting in jail and have a felony on your record. Instead you got two weeks in county jail and no felony, because someone in MY FAMILY--who you have no respect for, and never thanked by the way--made a phone call for you. ARE YOU EVER GOING TO ACCEPT ANY KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS??? It all comes back to what you chose to do, and I am sick of hearing how it is everyone else's fault but yours!"
At this point I thought to myself "ahem, hey stupid, this is not detachment, shut up." But really guys, is anything EVER their fault??
I hate sliding backwards when I've been feeling like I am finally getting somewhere near the top of the mountain. I know it takes a long time to undo all of these rotten behaviors I have had forever, but damn it, I was doing so well!!
Okay, breathe in, breathe out...today is another day, right?
Hugs,
Paula
We worked at our church bazaar yesterday from 9a.m. til 4 in the afternoon and it took dear hubby 3.2 seconds to have a beer in hand when we were done, that's fine I was finally going to go see my cousin and he wasn't joining me so I didn't have to deal with it. I picked him up from the local tavern on my way home, here in Podunk the tavern closes at 10 on Sundays. We come in the house and as I have been on the dead run all day, I flopped on the couch and begged him for ten minutes of silence, which as you know is a nearly impossible thing for a slobbering drunk to accomplish. He started in on the "I wish I could drive" thing, berating all of the lovely people who work for the state, all the way down to the officer who arrested him for his THIRD DUI. They don't care if you're rehabilitated or not, they are just a bunch of assholes. I only have three dui's I know guys still driving with six because they know the right people or have a lot of $$$. Please, please feel sorry for me because everyone is just picking on me, boo hoo...
Well, I snapped. I couldn't take it any more. "Do you REALLY think YOU are rehabilitated????? Can you honestly tell me if they gave you your license back tomorrow that you wouldn't be driving drunk in two weeks??? As for not getting any breaks, this was your THIRD offense, you should still be sitting in jail and have a felony on your record. Instead you got two weeks in county jail and no felony, because someone in MY FAMILY--who you have no respect for, and never thanked by the way--made a phone call for you. ARE YOU EVER GOING TO ACCEPT ANY KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS??? It all comes back to what you chose to do, and I am sick of hearing how it is everyone else's fault but yours!"
At this point I thought to myself "ahem, hey stupid, this is not detachment, shut up." But really guys, is anything EVER their fault??
I hate sliding backwards when I've been feeling like I am finally getting somewhere near the top of the mountain. I know it takes a long time to undo all of these rotten behaviors I have had forever, but damn it, I was doing so well!!
Okay, breathe in, breathe out...today is another day, right?
Hugs,
Paula
You are human! And I think that it's understandable how you reacted. I agree that all codies have slips, but let's say the topic wasn't concerning his drinking, but one that you didnt' like to discuss anyways. With what a busy day you had and for how tired you were, I think the odds of your having an outburst were pretty high to begin with.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
And you're right --- it's a new day! Hope this one goes better for you!
Don't be so hard on yourself.
And you're right --- it's a new day! Hope this one goes better for you!
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