SevenNuts

I spent all the money I own last night at a bar and could only afford four cheap beers. The craving to get annihilated and not being able to was absolutely horrible and sad. It was crushing.

Just thinking about my addiction and trying to stop, and how to stop is tiring. I've tried thousands of times. I'm so tired of hearing myself try to figure this out. There probably is no figuring this out. Just so tired. I can't try anymore. I want to give up all effort. I'm sick of writing this. I don't mean to be so negative, but maybe some of you can relate. I want peace. At the very least, I hope this helps someone in some way. I sure would like some encouragement about now.

Thanks.

PurpleKnight

Hey SevenNuts, yeah I can relate, I spend a lot of time trying to quit after I made the decision to be Sober before I achieved it!!

Are you trying to do it on your own, or do you have support? meetings? etc . . . there are very few people that can do it on their own, the key is changing the plan, if the plan isn't working, the results will only be different if we change something.

Being in a bar on a Saturday night, doesn't sound like you have a solid enough plan in place at the moment!!

But you can do this!!

SevenNuts

90 in 90
Sponsor
No bars
Call sponsor and new sober friends, especially if I feel like I'm about to drink.

On my own, I always eventually say "screw it" and go drink at a bar.

IOAA2

Hi and keep trying by using methods that work for many people. Being here and absorbing the many suggestions is a step in the right direction. For myself, who was very undisciplined, doing it my way never worked for more than a couple days. I needed directions and a genuine desire to stop the suffering I put myself through by picking up the first drink and thinking it would get better.
I needed the guidance of a program that has helped millions and told it the way it is. Honesty and acceptance is a quality needed for long term sobriety plus time and work to stay sober.

BE WELL

Nuudawn

Your post sounds an awful like defeat and surrender to me. That's the absolute best place to start. The plan noted...is this a new plan? Sorry, I'm just a little confused as to if this was the plan and then you went and said "screw it" and drank.

sugarbear1

you CAN do this! sponsor means working those steps and those steps saved my life!

Move Forward in life!!! stay stopped!

SevenNuts

I'm sorry for the vagueness. That is my NEW plan. My old plan was NO plan. It was, "Don't drink no matter what until about a week passes and I feel like drinking again." I feel I'm about to give in to the program. I've seen it work. I've just been resistant. I could go on like this for years and miss out on quality life. So, I need to do what I know works. It's just so hard at times. But cravings only last about an hour in my experience. And with support I know I can do it. I made it for a few months, years ago in the program, until I withdrew from meetings and support. My isolationism does not help me. Thank you.

Dee74

I'm glad you're getting support SevenNuts - this is hard enough, let alone trying to do it alone.

I hope you can make this time be your time

D

Waterfalls2014

Hi Seven, I'm in the same boat. After drinking for 30 years I was 6 sober then messed it all up Friday night. 1 day and a few hours sober now. The 90 in 90 plan sounds like a great way to talk with others in the same situation or who have been there before. Remember there's a fun life waiting on you. Best wishes!

bigsombrero

Hey SevenNuts,

Good for you in coming to this realization. Many of us here at SR have been in that same boat, believe it or not. I have nothing against doing 90-in-90, but before you start setting high goals, maybe you might want to focus on something more achievable. How about being sober today? Just one day at a time, buddy. Give yourself a chance to succeed at something.

I think you'll find lots of support and help here at SR!

Waterfalls2014

I was 6 days sober, that sounds like 6 years. But it's 6 days.

happyandfree

Stick to your plan and keep reading and writing on this site. It may not be easy, but it is possible. You will be so happy when you succeed.

least

I hope you can get sober for good this time.

Croissant

Yes, just stopping drinking doesn't keep you sober. So if you had NO plan, then at least knowing you need one is great!

You've learnt the first lesson - just stopping drinking doesn't keep you stopped.

MIRecovery

Only through total defeat can we be victorious. Your plan has worked for countless sober alcoholics