healthyagain

being mean . . .

Now, this is a though one . . . and not because I want to be hurtful to my alcoholic or to manipulate him. It is just impossible to talk these days to him without making him depressed. So, I am being honest, trying not to be brutally honest, trying not to raise my voice, trying not to blame him, trying to keep in my mind all those do's and dont's, and I am doing wonderful, but he is going down.

So sad to watch. But have not fought for a really long time. And there is no more bitterness in me (for which I am very grateful), just acceptance.

hopeful4

It is really hqrd to watch someone you love be depressed. However, its often neessary. I am so glad you are focusing on you and doing well!

lillamy

He is responsible for his feelings.
If the truth makes him depressed, then maybe the truth is depressing -- and that's his to deal with. (I'm not advocating name calling and unnecessary rudeness, by any means -- just saying you are not responsible for his reaction to your words.)

jaynie04

I like that one healthy again. My therapist used to tell me.."not against him, for you".

LifeRecovery

I am not responsible for someone else's feelings....that is what that statement says to me. It was my disease that made me think if I could just find the "right" way to say it, he would not have negative feelings about it.