Danielle05

:sink Hi. I am new to this, but hopefully I can receive some good advice! I am at my wits end with my mother. When I was 17 years old, my mother and I left my father who had a narcotics addiction and moved in with my grandmother one town over. Since then, my mother has started drinking heavily. To top it off, she has rheumatoid arthritis and lupus so she takes about 10 medications a day. The combination of the drinking with the meds turns my mother into a different person. She acts like a child, giggling and talking to herself, and she never remembers anything the next day. We fight constantly because I get annoyed having to play the "parent" to her. The past year, her drinking has gotten worse, and we have even had to call an ambulance to take her to get her stomach pumped after she "OD'd" on the combination of alcohol and pills. She promised me she would stop drinking after that, but never held out. Since I am in graduate school, I am still living with her, my grandmother, and my brother (also an alcoholic), yet I am the only one who seems to see the problem here. They all acknowledge the fact that she drinks too much, but they do not feel an intervention is needed. My mother doesn't think she has a drinking problem since she will only have about 3 drinks a day, but she doesn't realize the effects drinking while taking her medication causes. Not only is it embarassing to me to have a mother who behaves this way, but she has also really let herself go in the past year, gaining about 40 pounds. All this makes me so mad because when she is sober, she is the sweetest, most caring woman in the world, and we get along great. Please help me help her. I will do anything, I just don't know how to go about it!

Thanks so much,
Danielle

Ann

Danielle

Have you ever tried going to Al-Anon? If not, give it a try, and I promise you that it will help you heal and maintain your balance even in a very wobbly world.

Sadly, you cannot change your mother. You can tell her that you are concerned, and pray for her, but aside from that there is not much you can do for her.

But you can get help for you and learn that life can still be good, even when our loved ones are out of control.

Hugs
Ann

Lorelai

[I am the only one who seems to see the problem here. ]

I don't know whether my husband doesn't see the problem or just refuses to admit the problem. I do know that there is no way I can convince him to see it or admit. I spent 15 years trying to do that and, take it from me, it is a losing battle.

The most important thing you can do for yourself and for your family is to get some help. Alanon, these boards, books will all help you to help yourself.

Keep coming back and reading. There is hope.
L

Danielle05

Thanks for the advice Lorelai! Its nice to know that I am not the only one experiencing this, although it is probably much more difficult having a husband with this problem. Thanks again and God Bless.

Danielle