Carlotta

When it came time to actively pursue the Eighth Step (“Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all”), I stopped dead in my tracks! I knew of quite a few people I had harmed, but I was absolutely unwilling to even consider making amends to some of them! My Sponsor suggested I divide my list into three categories: those to whom I was willing to make amends; those to whom I might make amends; and those to whom I would absolutely not ever make amends. When I finished, I started Step Nine by making amends to those on the first list. The amazing thing was that, as I proceeded, I found
some of the names from my “maybe” list shifting to my “willing” list. In time, even some “absolutely not” people appeared on my “maybe” list. Eventually it became easier to make amends, even to “absolutely not” people. My reward? Some renewed friendships and family ties; more
importantly, an ability to face the new day without guilt, because I had owned up to my responsibilities.

neferkamichael

Carlotta, making amends is a problem area for me. I know I would be sincere, but I worry that I might open an old wound in someone that has moved on with their live and is doing just fine. I wish you well, rootin for ya.