getright15

I don't know what to do anymore. I've been/was on a 5 bender crazy bender. Sleeping in the car not coming home, spending money we don't have...just crazyness on every single front. I seriously do what to stop I just don't know where what is the my next step. If I go to an AA meet then what? I still have my job barely, our house that we rent out in another state barely.

My wife has been holding on and doing everything she can do to support me, but I think now is it. I felt like I hit rock bottom today....I've never ever felt as low today as I felt when I woke up. I was talking extra crazy and of course my friends were concerned. I just don't know my next step to take other than obviously get sober. I know I can only take it one day at a time, but man do I wish I didn't have to go this hell. I want to put all this behind me, and glad my kids are still young enough not to know or understand fully what is going on. I think I've hurt enough people I love and care about along started enough fights with strangers to nearly be arrested.

Let me stop my rambling....I just love that this website exist, and in the dark and f-d up days drinking has caused myself and I'm sure many others that are on this site.

Just any type of advice on how to just stay sober will be helpful.

Thanks

G

Alphabet

Hi get

Glad you've found us! There are a lot of useful tools and a ton of support on here.

I'm currently in a similar boat, so I don't feel I should be giving advice just yet. Just know that this will pass, and you'll start to feel more like yourself again

Taking5

Can you stay sober for 24 hours and try that AA meeting? Then stay sober 24 more hours and go to another AA meeting. I recommend you hit multiple meetings until you find a group you like. Then the next steps would be get a big book and start reading it, and get a sponsor and start working the steps. The cravings will go away eventually, especially if you get into the step work.

Django

I'm not in a position to give advice,there will be a lot more people here that can.Just wanted to welcome you and tell you I've just done a crazy few days so you're not alone.

carlingford

Hi Getright15, firstly I would see Doc as acute withdrawals can be fatal if not done correctly,big step, well done,take 1 day at a time, best of luck.

Ruby2

When I got to the point where I knew I had to stop and was desperate to try anything I checked into detox and did treatment afterwards followed by AA meetings. None of us want to go through this but sometimes it is the only path. To get this behind you you must move forward.

Good luck. I would also say go home if you haven't already and start planning how you can make getting sober work.

FreeOwl

go to an AA meeting, then what? Go to another one, if that's what it takes.

I've been to a couple in Vegas.... there's LOTS of Vegas AA meetings. It's a really good place to start. Get a copy of the Big Book at your first meeting. Read it. Read it again. Then again.

Keep posing here.

Keep focused on one day of sobriety for now.... every day.....

you don't have to live the madness anymore.

Dee74

Welcome getright
How are you doing now?

D

Thepatman

You have little ones, they need to get healthy and be present in their lifes.

One of my top motivators is my mini-me, he's 7 and my best friend. I lost my dad when I was 5 of cancer, no reason for me to die over the stupid bottle and kill any change he's got at a better life than me.

You can do this my friend!

Anna

I'm glad you decided to do this.

It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before detoxing because it can be dangerous.

We are here to support you, so keep reading and posting and do whatever it takes to stay sober.

getright15

Didnt drink today....so that's cool. Just can't wrap my head around this "never drink again" thing. Just seems to far fetched,but I think I'm just feeling that way since I guess its only been a few days.

trez

Gettight15, try not to think about the "big picture" of a life without alcohol. Just stay sober today, you can always drink tomorrow if you want to. Keep things simple. If you don't drink you won't get drunk.

I'm the latest in a long line of alcoholics in my family. For my brother, he was able to get all the help he needed to get sober at AA. My dad did too, although I think it took a few tries with him. I have a sponsor and attend a few meetings but have relapsed a great number of times. Don't beat yourself up if it happens, it's pretty common. Life is much more enjoyable sober, but unfortunately alcohol is everywhere and it seems like anything can be construed as a reason to drink...it takes time to reprogram yourself. Also, what has helped me before is writing down how you feel when you're violently hung over. The next chance you feel like having a drink, take it out and read it.

FeelingGreat

It's hard to come to terms with 'never again' so concentrate on getting through the tough withdrawal period. Have you seen a doctor and really levelled with him/her? There's a lot at stake here and chances are you're going to need some support.

DisplacedGRITS

Yeah, I used to try to think about the rest of my life...*gulp*...sober. A normal person would be excited about the prospect. Me? I get friggin terrified. If I try to imagine the rest of my life with alcohol, I can kinda accept that. You know, like maybe I'm going to magically be able to moderate and be happy? Maybe, alcohol will just somehow stop being an issue and I'll live happily ever after? Yeaaaaaah...how is it that I can see that as a possibility and latch on to that pipe dream but thinking about permanent sobriety terrifies me? Well, I'm gullible and a good liar so I suppose I'm quite good at fooling myself!

What I tend to neglect when I indulge in the fantasy I have of drinking in moderation and being happy is that I have absolutely nothing to back that up and I have TONS of evidence to the contrary. You know...small details.

I don't think too much about my future. Nothing is guaranteed. I don't ever borrow sober time. If I'm at Day 59 at a meeting, I don't raise my hand for celebrating 60 days tomorrow. I can't guarantee my sobriety tomorrow. I've got it today and that's what matters. I feel confident planning future events because I believe in the program I'm working right now. I feel confident because I only have to work it 24 hours at a time. If I'm sleeping well, I only have to worry about 16 of those hours!

Don't look too far ahead. You'll end up tripping on the rock right in front of you.

getright15

Thanks for the responses guys! I've been trying to not think about all the bs that went down last week. Although, I did finally lose my job. They had no idea what I was dealing with, but I was let go for other things...like sleeping on the job, calling out because I was to hungover to go to work etc...so it all added up. Crazy thing is I'm so happy not to be there anymore. Going in hammered or going in still buzzed from sleeping in my car was pretty much end of the rope for me to realize wow I really hate this place and hmmm maybe just maybe I need to not drink

No excuses here...I know what I did and it was all my fault for things getting to that point. I just really enjoy drinking. I never INTENDED on getting so hammered, I'm sure everyone here has been through the once you start you don't stop method we call a bender. One hell of a bender! This for life thing honestly sucks to read/hear, but you guys are right. One day at a time. I'm sober at this point and last week is over. Slowly getting better mentally about things, but just hard to get over those days last week where I just lost my mind and my job.

DisplacedGRITS

It's hard, it really is. I mean, we sort of get used to wreaking havoc in our own lives. Going wild, not thinking about the future, or at least not past the next 5 minutes, living in a maelstrom of emotions, wild, free but also just squashed. Everything's good until suddenly it's not and then it's very, very, very not good. The highs aren't really highs anymore. They're just something wild and out of control that isn't despair. If you're like me, you're not really happy anymore. You're just less sad for a little while then you hit oblivion and then comes the soul crushing lows. And everything you do is tinged with guilt. You know everything's wrong but it's all you know, right? For me, my effed up alcoholic life was my normal.

When I quit running in that hamster wheel, I got thrown for a loop. Several, actually. I spent a long while spinning and not knowing up from down. The only thing I knew was that if I quit running, the wheel would eventually stop. That's what I'd been told and I finally started having faith in the sober alcoholics around me. Turns out I'm not special. I'm a very typical alcoholic and my new friends had seen my type before. Many of them had been my type! So they told me to not drink, get a sponsor, call my sponsor, call other sober alcoholics and go to meetings. I took my know-it-all ego and shoved it aside. I got humble, got honest, got willing and got living.

getright15

Haven't drank all week. It's odd I haven't even thought about it. Are you supposed to keep track of the how many days in a row you don't drink?

MythOfSisyphus

Some people count days, others don't. I did early on but eventually I didn't feel the need to. I guess I've been sober for maybe 500 days, somewhere in there.

longbeachone

Just keep stringing those days together. Try to remember, IN DETAIL, the misery that drinking brought to your life. Don't start romanticizing alcohol. You are in the "maybe it wasn't so bad, maybe I can just have ONE" phase, and alcohol will start calling to you.

If you haven't been to AA or Celebrate Recovery (my favorite group...look online for meeting near you) then by all means go. You'll find some amazing help and support there.

Congratulations on your sober time. I wouldn't trade my six sober years for anything.

MIRecovery

I do not have to stay sober forever. I just have to stay sober today. Tomorrow will bring what tomorrow brings but tomorrow is not today