Mamahawk

I thought I was so strong. I felt like a warrior at first . Now one physical sensation is bringing me to my knees. For the first time I know if I could I would use right now. I would give anything to stop this. I feel so alone, so broken. Where did my strength go? Why is my body betraying me? All I can do is cry cry cry.

Dee74

I had a nerve issue. It felt like my gums were burning and my teeth were being pulled on.

It took me a long time to find the right Dr and a long time to find the right treatment. I began to despair I'd ever feel free of this again. But I am free of it - largely anyway...it comes and goes still in a vague kind of way but I can deal with it cos I know it will pass.

Don't lose hope Mama - and don't use.

D

chicory

Mama, sometimes a really good cry clears the way for more positive growth. just let it all out, and then just keep moving forward, a day at a time, a minute at a time, and you will get there. You can do this.. people do!

Mamahawk

I'm glad you were able to get help Dee. I hope it doesn't bother you to much anymore.

Thanks Chicory for the encouragement.

I am just filled with despair right now. I can't use it's impossible and I'm glad. There is nothing to help me. I've know I have to feel this sensation. I just can't stand it or how it's making me feel. It's to intense to bear. I can't find any info on feeling something like this sensation in my mouth due to withdrawals. But I am done with withdrawal anyway. There is no one to call for help. I am prepared to suffer I just can't stand it.

Dee74

If it's not better soon I hope you'll see a Dr Mama?

D

Mamahawk

I have an appt June 23rd. It's the soonest I could get one.

Dee74

Two weeks is not that bad if you look at it as 14 days...you've done half as much as that again already

D

Mamahawk

I feel horrible. It's making me crazy.

Mamahawk

I wish I knew if I went to the ER if anything could be done. My stomach is in knots. My husband worked 17 hours today and is leaving at 3 am. It's almost 1. I can't go anyway. I begging God to help me but it just gets worse

OpioPhobe

Mama - One thing I have noticed about my past withdrawals was that there were always points where I wavered. I would love to say that I held my head high through the whole thing, but there were plenty of times when I had an overwhelming feeling of impending doom and hopelessness. Your other post about feeling broken was a pretty good description of it as well. The times that I panicked about it made things exponentially worse.

You are the only one that knows how much physical pain you are having, but did it all of the sudden get much worst today out of the blue?

Mamahawk

It's not pain. It's just this intense feeling in my mouth. It's so intense I feel sick now. It increases in intensity everyday.

OpioPhobe

OK. Why do you think using is going to make it better?

Dee74

Maybe it's best to get another appointment somewhere else before the 23rd Mama.
Got any walk in places?

D

Mamahawk

It won't. There is no way. . I just meant I have been so strong mentally and now I feel weak. I feel desperate for it.

Mamahawk

I haven't felt desperate for it since I quit 24 days ago. Until now. My mind says it can make it go away.

Mamahawk

We do have walk ins Dee. They will just send me over to get an appt at behavioral health.

OpioPhobe

Mama - there is no extra credit for staying strong mentally every moment throughout the process. There were times when I wavered and went from feeling very strong to feeling absolutely hopeless on the turn of a dime. Not using is the only thing that matters. You have to just keep going and pushing even when it seems impossible.

Mamahawk

I don't have a way to use. It is virtually impossible without coming up with an elaborate plan.

Mamahawk

You are right opio. The emotions are normal. I just didn't know this was going to happen. I thought I was getting better. I wasn't expecting this feeling in my moth. It has brought me to my knees. It's so intense.

Verte

Hey Mama,
A few suggestions if you have not yet tried:

1) Get your name on the appointment cancellation list for your doctor.
2) If they do not have a cancellation list then call right away in the morning and then 45mins.-1hr. after the office opens. Continue as often as necessary to catch one of those spots.
3) Call and ask to speak to a nurse. Describe the urgency of your situation and ask if there is any way you can be seen more quickly.
4) Repeat all of the above as needed. Be genuinely kind to everyone you talk to and magic might happen.

So sorry that you are in pain. I've been following your progress Mama and you are an inspiration.