I'm still here!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
I'm still here!
been sober since January! wow! I can't believe it!
I thought my husband had relapsed back in April, but he has managed to pass all of his UAs so far. He seems to have been sober since December.
I can't believe I have made it this far and it seems like I still have a long way to go, but I'm glad to be out here and doing the best I can each day for my kids.
I'm getting to the point where I'm thankful for my addiction. I have an understanding of my HP now that I have never had before. I go back and forth between the big book, and the Bible, AA, and Celebrate Recovery, being active in the program and being active in the church. I had a hard time finding a sponsor at first... I seem to be too liberal for most Christians, and too conservative for others who are not.
I really think it's important for me to have changed my triggering places more than anything. There are certain places in this town that hold painful memories and I avoid them at all costs.
I tried going to Al anon a few times and it just made me sick. I'm not sure why codependency disgusts me the way it does. It must be a reflection of myself I guess. I think it's resentments towards the control freaks I've had in my own life. It's a catch 22 because I was sooooo codependent on my husband it's insane. I guess I still get upset with the "it's not me, it's the addict" attitude. Definnately something to go over with my sponsor.
Well, I guess that's where I'm at for now.
hugs everyone. hang in there.
Lily
I thought my husband had relapsed back in April, but he has managed to pass all of his UAs so far. He seems to have been sober since December.
I can't believe I have made it this far and it seems like I still have a long way to go, but I'm glad to be out here and doing the best I can each day for my kids.
I'm getting to the point where I'm thankful for my addiction. I have an understanding of my HP now that I have never had before. I go back and forth between the big book, and the Bible, AA, and Celebrate Recovery, being active in the program and being active in the church. I had a hard time finding a sponsor at first... I seem to be too liberal for most Christians, and too conservative for others who are not.
I really think it's important for me to have changed my triggering places more than anything. There are certain places in this town that hold painful memories and I avoid them at all costs.
I tried going to Al anon a few times and it just made me sick. I'm not sure why codependency disgusts me the way it does. It must be a reflection of myself I guess. I think it's resentments towards the control freaks I've had in my own life. It's a catch 22 because I was sooooo codependent on my husband it's insane. I guess I still get upset with the "it's not me, it's the addict" attitude. Definnately something to go over with my sponsor.
Well, I guess that's where I'm at for now.
hugs everyone. hang in there.
Lily
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