Fathom

Ok, so I'm mad at myself. I seem to be slipping back into doormat mode. This (very silly) story has to do with men (whom I've just met!) at a local farmer's market wanting to taste my ice cream cone. This has happened to me twice now... Same farmer's market, different men. Once last year, and once last night.

Last year, when the stranger man who had randomly struck up a conversation with me and my friend asked if he could try my ice cream, I said no. I'm sure he thought the resulting conversation was charming and funny, but it was actually very tedious for me for carry on about how much I valued my ice cream cone and he wasn't worthy, blah, blah, blah. I don't actually remember what I said, but it was some stupid and outrageous justification of why I wouldn't let a random stranger take a lick off my ice cream. I mean, why would this sort of thing even come up? Let alone, be controversial. Last year, I was strong and said no. Then, I let it go and have never seen him again.

So, last night, I'm talking with another stranger-to-me man, and the same thing happens! Say, what? Last night, instead of saying no and enduring the resulting ridiculous conversation, I said sure and handed him the cone. I think he wasn't expecting that, LOL! He hesitated before taking a lick, but then went for it. I took it back and made my exit. I was stunned at what I had allowed. I was stunned that this had happened again. I mean, WTH?

I realize that I haven't exactly gone out of my way to interact with a lot of men in the last couple of years, so my socialization expectations may be a bit off. But, these kinds of interactions aren't exactly encouraging me to get myself out there more. Is this just a sign that I'm not healthy enough yet cause I'm still attracting the whackos? Or, am I just surrounded by a particularly high number of whackos? Maybe it's the ice cream... It is pretty epic.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Fathom

Pia

Gosh is that the new pick up line nowawdays. I almost went to a FM today but last second didn't. I will keep that line in mind lol.

Anyways "I took it back and made my exit." I think you did a great job. You stopped the conversation on your terms.

Seren

Oh Fathom, I'm sorry...

Maybe next year, order your favorite cone, and when strange man number 3 comes by, perhaps say "No, but it's been nice talking to you" and walk away.

lillamy

You all are so nice. I believe my response to someone wanting a lick of my ice cream would have been something along the lines of "Are you out of your f***ing mind?"

Fathom

LOL Lillamy! I need to channel some of your spirit the next time this happens! And, I'm pretty sure there will be a next time, cause I'm not about to give up my Friday night farmer's market ice cream cone!

Gotta practice my "oh HELL no!" That's a complete sentence too, like "no" is, but it might affect a more rapid end to the discussion...



Fathom

Hammer

[ hmmm, Hammer notes to drop the term "licking" from any pick-up line. ]

huh, how about that? Go figure.

Taking5

I'm not sure where you live, but a woman eating ice cream or a popsicle in public is a common signal of saying you are a prostitute in parts of the USA. I'm serious as I can be on this.

Fathom

Well, now. That is seriously F'ed up. I do not live in one of those places, fortunately. If I did, I'd probably open a corner ice cream shop and sell the girliest sounding flavors to encourage more non-prostitute women to eat ice cream in public. I'd probably get myself in a whole heap of trouble because societies that make up oppressive unwritten rules like that don't seem to like it when someone openly disobeys them.

Better that i just stay where I am, and I guess I'll keep my ears wary of any southern drawls? Thanks for the heads up, taking5.

Fathom

FireSprite

^^ Yes! I have to admit, my 1st reaction while reading was, "Are you f***ing kidding me??" People are whacked.

redatlanta

They were flirting sounds harmless……I would never give anyone a lick of my cone ever because I am greedy when it comes to ice cream.

CarryThatWeight

Is this for real?!?! And if so, which parts, if you don't mind my asking? Apparently I am woefully uneducated...

readerbaby71

WTF is wrong with people? I'm sorry that happened. Honestly, I don't let anyone lick my ice cream cone, even if I know them. I have a weird thing about dairy. I'd rather just hand it over than lick it after someone else. For some reason it grosses me out. I'm not like that with any other drinks or food or anything, just ice cream, yogurt, etc......

Anyway, WHO DOES THAT?! People are ****** up.

Taking5

I got this from a drive-along with a police officer in Santa Ana, CA about 20 years ago.

Taking5

I heard of this in CA, I do not believe this is a southern thing at all.

Hammer

I am liking this thread.

A lot.

Now we are talking going down on a popsicle?

Not sure where anyone lives, but I am pretty sure that a guy just about anywhere trying to score by licking on a woman's ice cream cone is a Major League Douchebag.

Fathom

So, I thought I would share a little more of the story, because I agree that it was mostly pretty harmless flirting (albeit strange!). I was sharing the bit about the ice cream because I was dumbfounded by it, and amused that it could happen twice. I thought you all might be entertained by it (and, we do need some comic relief at times, right?). But, I do have a part of this story that somewhat unsettles me that maybe you could give me perspective on... Perhaps my primary discomfort was that I didn't feel like engaging in the flirting with these guys?

Stranger #1 was obviously married and was holding his small son (<1 yr old). No good for flirting in my book, and very confusing.

Stranger #2 knew my friend that I was with because his daughter is friends with my friend's daughter (follow?). Now, it seems to me, that my friend hangs out with all of her daughter's friend's mothers, who are all divorced from men who have had issues with addiction. I don't know if this guy is one of them, but he is at least ten years older than I am, and i really don't need another addicted controlling daddy figure in my life. I can't say for sure, but I think the "can I lick your cone" line would still not be effective on me even if the guy were super attractive, my age, and in all other ways seemed normal...

And the reason I am over analyzing this and self-doubting is because the last time I was single and flirting outrageously was when I was in my early 20s. I am now in my late 30s, and there seems to be new rules, adult rules, that I never thought to learn. Now, there seems to be more variety to think about. There are younger guys... and older guys... Divorced guys... Divorced guys with kids... Never-been-married guys... Never-been-married guys with kids... It's honestly a bit scary and overwhelming to me, and my mind seems to go in a whirl anytime I have the merest brush with flirting these days.

I know there are some (many?) people who find flirting enjoyable, natural, and stimulating. Are these people extroverts? I've never been one of those, but I think I have become MUCH more introverted in the last few years, and that is not helping me feel capable of socializing like a normal well-adjusted single adult. I wonder if I SHOULD have enjoyed the ridiculous conversation about the ice cream cone and just taken the flirting as innocent harmless banter. Does that even exist in adult rules? Cause I'm pretty sure that would have been naive thinking for flirting in my 20s.

You can tell me I think too much... I think I think too much!

Thanks!
Fathom

DoubleBarrel

I have to assume you are gorgeous for two different men to pull that one.

NWGRITS

That's so unsanitary. Really. Who does that? I won't even share drinks with my kids or my husband. Get yo dirty hands off my cone. Farmers Market grub is the best.

Fathom

Ha! Ha! Thanks for the vote of confidence, doublebarrell. I'm not sure I fall into that category. People say all the time that I have a lovely smile though. I think I come across as approachable and genuine... and maybe a bit of a pushover? Not anymore, though! I am set with my answer the next time someone wants some of my ice cream! I will make like one of the seagulls from Finding Nemo. Mine!

caboblanco

so a guy asked to lick your ice cream ...well you obviously know he could care less about the ice cream. its not a big deal.