Social anxiety
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
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Social anxiety
My social anxiety escalated since I stopped drinking. My counselor says to keep trying, maybe in small groups. To try and meet new people, to volunteer at school, that the more I try the easier it will get.
I just don't want to!
Is is that bad to want to be left alone? Enjoy a quiet house? What's the point of mindless conversation? Yes, I live in Canada, the weather is ALWAYS bad, why do you all have this urge to discuss it?
I just feel this huge pressure to go out and be social when in fact I feel physically ill when I am in a social situation. What is wrong with me?
I just don't want to!
Is is that bad to want to be left alone? Enjoy a quiet house? What's the point of mindless conversation? Yes, I live in Canada, the weather is ALWAYS bad, why do you all have this urge to discuss it?
I just feel this huge pressure to go out and be social when in fact I feel physically ill when I am in a social situation. What is wrong with me?
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[QUOTE=patricia68;4699819] Yes, I live in Canada, the weather is ALWAYS bad, why do you all have this urge to discuss it?
QUOTE]
LOL I'm in Canada and it's actually quite lovely out right now.
but yah, we sure like to yap about it!
Have you always suffered from anxiety (pre-boozing?) or is this a new feeling?
I know it's a wretched feeling, but isolating comes with its drawbacks as well.
welcome
QUOTE]
LOL I'm in Canada and it's actually quite lovely out right now.
but yah, we sure like to yap about it!
Have you always suffered from anxiety (pre-boozing?) or is this a new feeling?
I know it's a wretched feeling, but isolating comes with its drawbacks as well.
welcome
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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I can totally relate and would even say your counselor is being unfair.There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
I drank because I was nervous shy and unsure in social situations and tried to be someone I' m not. Since getting sober I realise and accept I'm a naturally private person and don't want to be the life and soul of the party. More importantly, I don't need to be outgoing and doing social things all the time.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own company or wanting to be or enjoying being alone. Enjoying your own company and liking yourself are good attributes to have. I think too many people surround themselves with others because they are unhappy with who they are and need to be with others to make themselves feel better yet feeling good only truly comes from within.
That's not to say isolating too much or to your detriment is good, especially in early sobriety. Just don't be afraid to be true to yourself and be alone if that is what you want.
The longer I've been sober the more confident I've become & my anxiety has almost disappeared but it's a quiet confidence
I drank because I was nervous shy and unsure in social situations and tried to be someone I' m not. Since getting sober I realise and accept I'm a naturally private person and don't want to be the life and soul of the party. More importantly, I don't need to be outgoing and doing social things all the time.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own company or wanting to be or enjoying being alone. Enjoying your own company and liking yourself are good attributes to have. I think too many people surround themselves with others because they are unhappy with who they are and need to be with others to make themselves feel better yet feeling good only truly comes from within.
That's not to say isolating too much or to your detriment is good, especially in early sobriety. Just don't be afraid to be true to yourself and be alone if that is what you want.
The longer I've been sober the more confident I've become & my anxiety has almost disappeared but it's a quiet confidence
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Originally Posted by Jupiters 
Have you always suffered from anxiety (pre-boozing?) or is this a new feeling?
Now even a meeting with my son's teacher causes me chest pains and stomach cramps
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Since I stopped drinking, I am much more comfortable with myself and spending time alone. Like you, I don't want to spend time on mindless conversation (I also live in Canada, and yeah, we're obsessed with the weather).
I think it's important to know that there is nothing wrong with you. Some people are very social, others not so much. As long as you are comfortable with your life, that's what matters.
I think it's important to know that there is nothing wrong with you. Some people are very social, others not so much. As long as you are comfortable with your life, that's what matters.
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I guess I need to stop worrying about what others think of me. If they think I'm all stuck up and snotty...well, who cares right?
I have to do what makes me happy, and being at home and alone makes me happy!
I have to do what makes me happy, and being at home and alone makes me happy!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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And I too live in Canada...the rainy west coast BUT it's beautiful and hot today.
It's only been in the past year that I have realized my anxiety issue. It's only been in the past year that big parties..mix and mingles...anywhere where you gotta stand round and make small talk? I would get hammered out of my skull. In sobriety I realized I DON'T ENJOY those sorts of gatherings...at all. I thought I loved to party..turns out I just like being drunk in public perhaps...new perspective. People I would normally never talk to ..some cuz I know I wouldn't WANT to not cuz I was nervous to..would become my new best friends.
I do like small intimate gatherings of people I know already. I hear where you are coming from.
Introverts (which I believe alot of us are when we take away the booze) do have difficulty with too many people etc.
I read an introvert once say that he was like a cordless drill as he has to charge all night for 10 minutes of use.
Introverts recharge alone whereas extrovert recharge with people.
It's only been in the past year that I have realized my anxiety issue. It's only been in the past year that big parties..mix and mingles...anywhere where you gotta stand round and make small talk? I would get hammered out of my skull. In sobriety I realized I DON'T ENJOY those sorts of gatherings...at all. I thought I loved to party..turns out I just like being drunk in public perhaps...new perspective. People I would normally never talk to ..some cuz I know I wouldn't WANT to not cuz I was nervous to..would become my new best friends.
I do like small intimate gatherings of people I know already. I hear where you are coming from.
Introverts (which I believe alot of us are when we take away the booze) do have difficulty with too many people etc.
I read an introvert once say that he was like a cordless drill as he has to charge all night for 10 minutes of use.
Introverts recharge alone whereas extrovert recharge with people.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
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Patricia. Oh hugs. 
Be gentle with yourself on this one. There is nothing wrong with you at all. Generally speaking, it is a challenge for everyone to figure out how to both enjoy time alone and appreciate being with others.
Everyone has to figure this out, introverts and extroverts alike Try to focus on making the moments alone quality no matter the quantity and then do the same with your moments with others.
Mindfulness practices really help with silencing the inner critic and judgmental talk that can go on inside our heads and drive us batty.
This sobriety thing unleashes a whole host of previously silenced talk in my experience.
Be gentle with yourself on this one. There is nothing wrong with you at all. Generally speaking, it is a challenge for everyone to figure out how to both enjoy time alone and appreciate being with others.
Everyone has to figure this out, introverts and extroverts alike
Try to focus on making the moments alone quality no matter the quantity and then do the same with your moments with others.Mindfulness practices really help with silencing the inner critic and judgmental talk that can go on inside our heads and drive us batty.
This sobriety thing unleashes a whole host of previously silenced talk in my experience.
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