HCFL

My brother is 19 right now. He has confessed to my parents and me that he has been addicted to cocaine since he was in grade 9 (since he was 15). He is living in the town we grew up in. I left town about three years ago to start my life.

I have a very stubborn view on drugs. I don't intend to try or be around people who want to do hard drugs.

My brother although, has obviously been around drugs. I'm not sure if cocaine was the only one. I haven't been around him in the last three years.

My brother wants to move in with me, to also start his life. He tells me and my parents that he seeks help and saw an addiction councilor. Tells us that he has been off of it for four weeks now. But he's also kept it a secret from us for three years prior very successfully...

My question is, if he moves in with me how much will I have to worry about with him? He will have the potential to make much more money around here than he will back home. I really support my brother and his decisions but I can't help to think that it's possible he might move in and make my life harder because of his addiction.

I have already bought his plane ticket and he intends on getting a job as soon as he arrives.

I have next to no experience dealing with someone who has an addiction...so any advice would be great.

Thanks in advanced

Dee74

Hi HCFL

It's pretty hard to give a one size fits all answer - some guys are really committed to turning their life around, others, sadly...not so much.

It's impossible for me to predict which group your brother is in - I really hope it's the first one

If you want to hear other peoples experience with someone who has an addiction, check out the Family and Friends of Substance abusers forum as well.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

D

HCFL

Thanks D.

I believe he is on the right track...he seems to have the right idea about his addiction and wanting to do something about it. He tells me how he only did it because he was around his friends...never even bought the drug out of his own pocket.

I'm going to set some ground rules when he arrives, let him know that he cannot alter my life while he is here and hopefully he will understand and respect it enough to stay clear of cocaine during the period he is here.

BlueChair

Hi HCFL,

Good luck to your brother starting over ! My husband used cocaine (not now, but last year). I think when he moves in sit down and talk together about what your both going to need from each other in terms of being housemates. I dont think you need to set special rules for him except of course you dont want drugs in your house. I think since he is moving to a new location, it would also be a good idea for him to find a new addiction doctor for counseling. Someone who would be available IF there was a problem, a crisis. If he has structured support set up in advance of needing it, would be really helpful. (hopefully he wont need it, but even moving is stressful, and with my husband stress creates a trigger for him, it happens almost silently so its not something your brother might even predict) You cant force him to do this of course, but talk to him about it as being a precautionary measure something like picking out a new family doctor. Easy Breezy. Good Luck to you too, what a great sis you are !!

tennisman

I am a recovering cocaine addict myself. I am 22 now and began at 17 in college. Peer pressure is a hell of a thing, trying to fit in and be accepted. I used cocaine as my crutch. He has to really in his heart know that he doesn't want that life again and remember all the bad things that happened because of the drug use. We addicts have a habit of only remembering the good drug related experiences. Once he is willing to stop at all costs he will do very well. Carry him to some NA meetings which are anonymous and he can hear from other addicts as well.

tennisman

There is always time for him to work, earn money and do other stuff but it wont mean anything if he is still using. The disease will only get worst so best to "nip it in the bud." Give him a trial run if you wish if it doesn't work out God Forbid remember it is not the end of the world he is very young and has his whole life ahead of him and can change. Also not that the power and choice to use or not to use is up to him

HCFL

I learned the hard way. He started doing drugs shortly after moving in. I tried helping him by paying for everything right away. He wrote off my car after one week... the next week he found a job and was still doing drugs. 6 weeks later, he ruined the car I bought him when he wrote off mine, lost his job and got arrested for drug possession. The next day my mother bought a plane ticket for him to come home and he left me with a $6500 debt. He never once said he was sorry or explain why he screwed up. I drove him to the airport and I honestly hope it's the last time I ever see him...

Dee74

I'm really sorry it ended like that HCFL.

D

hopeful4

I am sorry. It seem an addict has to find their own way. I think the best thing one can do is just get out of their way and pray for them.

So so sorry.