kidden

So AH has left, I'm getting stronger every day, have had very little contact. He's left a massive financial mess, and I am struggling to find the end of it, every time I think I have it all figured out I find out something more eg: debt collection letter comes in from a pawn shop where he pawned our kids laptops.
He has not offered to pay for anything including the mortgage, overdue phone bill overdue electricity bill, various credit cards, payday loans, pawn shop bills the list goes on.
So I'm torn, I have a job and I have seen a financial planner to help set up a weekly budget, I have negotiated with creditors where I can, but I can't stop thinking that I'm still cleaning his mess up, and where are his consequences for his actions?
How is that he can walk away from the disaster zone?

suki44883

Because he doesn't care. Since you are married and you're the responsible one, it all falls to you and he gets to just go on his merry way. Sucks, I know, but the creditors are going to look to you since you're the only one they are able to contact. (((HUGS)))

FeelingGreat

Hi Kidden, sorry you have to deal with this irresponsible loser. I'm not sure where you are, so it would pay to check out local debt laws. Look for free financial and debt counselling - the Salvation Army often runs these - or possibly a legal service.
For debts your husband has run up for himself (as opposed to house utilities), try telling the collectors that he is responsible, and give them his contact details. It may not work, but they are people too, and could move their focus to your AH.
I suggest you do whatever it takes to formalise the fact that you will not be responsible for his debts in the future. Otherwise he could rack them up and because you're married they'd still be chasing you.
As you have a child, please get legal advice on child support and debts. It could save you a lot of money.

Butterfly

Surely if the debt is in his name with the exception of household utilities he is responsible for them. Why should you pay his credit card debt?? Can you contact the agencies that the debt is in his name and provide them with his contact details advise that he no longer living at your address and that you no longer want mail for him??

suki44883

When you marry someone, you tie yourself legally to that person. Your debts become theirs and their debts become yours.

I would suggest seeking legal counsel and asking about a legal separation. If you are legally separated, that stops creditors from harassing you and you are no longer responsible for his debts after that date of the filed legal separation. Those debts that were accumulated prior to filing the legal separation are still considered joint debts.