Connie11

Hi all:
My husband has been recovering from alcoholism for the past 5 months. He goes to 4-5 AA meetings per week and I go to 2-3 Alanon meetings. He is very involved in his recovery program. I attended an open AA with him when he went to his first AA meeting. Today I asked him if he would like to attend an open Alanon meeting with me so that he could see what I am experiencing. He said at first that he would feel like "everyone is looking at the alcoholic" I explained that we only introduce ourselves by saying our first name. He said he would think about it and also ask him sponsor and his counselor. I am feeling upset that he is not as interested in my recovery as I have been in his. So much of our energy and attention went to him when he was drinking and now him while he is recovering. Was I wrong to ask him to go to one Alanon?:

LadyBlue0527

I'm assuming from your post that you've been attending 2-3 Alanon meetings a week for the past 5 months?

Have you ever verbalized this at a meeting?

and if so, what was the reaction?

Connie11

No, but that is a good idea. I will bring it up tomorrow.

mayabee

Not sure if this is the same for Al-Anon. I know that when it comes to Nar-Anon (my recovery group), some addicts have the misconception that our meetings are nothing but a lot of addict -bashing. Instead, the focus is on us (family members and friends of addicts) and our recovery. I am guessing that your husband feels some guilt about the past. He may expect that he will hear a bunch of complaining about alcoholics at your meeting. That may be why he made the comment
about everyone "looking at the alcoholic". Definitely bring up your feelings about his reaction with your group.

sugarbear1

recovery tends to be personal.....

maybe just start working the 12 traditions in your marriage?

LBrain

that would be like obama asking putin to attend a white house defense cabinet meeting