Makrellen

16th day sober, hooray for that

But, I have been eating painkillers almost daily, 4 times per day (recommended limit)
They contain codeine (very mild morphine effect)
Makes me feel relaxed and good

I thought "hey, its better than drinking, its' ok for now, one thing at a time"
But now I see, that I have to be careful with this too. Have read that they are addictive and many people find it hard to stop once they are hooked
Hm.. why do I need substances, or think I do?

MidnightBlue

Hi, Makrellen.

I have no personal experience with painkillers, but IMHO substance is just an expression of addiction. Changing for substance for another, even milder, won't solve the problem.

Recovery needs some "deeper digging" - facing your fears, underlying wounds, rediscovering yourself, fighting boredom, and, again, being your own hero and saving your own world.

Scary as it may sound it's pretty awesome as well.

Maybe, some addiction like jogging, or other form of workouts, would serve you better on this journey?

Best wishes to you.

MIRecovery

You may not be drinking but you are not sober. Get of the pills while you still can

Dee74

If you do a search for codeine here @ SR, Mak, you'll find the withdrawal, as with any opiate, is not particularly pleasant.

The sooner you quit, the more chance you have of not having a bad withdrawal.

On a deeper level, why do you think you're looking for a good feeling from an external source?

D

doggonecarl

You are an addict. Address it accordingly.

Vandermast

a drug is a drug is a drug

anewpage

I abused codeine as well, the last time I tried to get sober. It made not drinking easier because of the relaxing, calming effect the pills gave me. I was taking triple the recommended dose daily. But then I ran out and there was no way for me to get more. The withdrawal wasn't pleasant, so guess what I did to get through it? Yep, drink. Swapping one addiction for another is just bad news. I would recommend tapering off now before it gets worse.

Aellyce

Mak, switching addictions is very common, unfortunately. It's just addiction untreated, unresolved. I can get addicted to "things" that are not even substances (behaviors or even thoughts) - often people call these obsessions rather than addiction, but since I've had so many of these, can say confidently it's very similar. You do need to dig deeper and get into a complex program of recovery to truly address it.

Makrellen

Yes, thank you all
I have to dig into it. Question it. Closer to root level
I have so many addictions..
It's an escape for sure
I can't help but looking at it like this:
Perhaps it's about fear/resistance to life/presence as it is?
Why?
"I only want to feel GOOD, always. more of that! troubles/pain/boredom/etc go away"
And I think it has something to do with the ego mind. Dunno how excactly yet though. But I will investigate!

Maybe I'm too deep about it.. But I feel that's the way to truely become free

I have started training being more present and still. Not always putting music on etc.
Instead, listen to the rain drops. Enjoy and find peace in the silence. This moment, right here, right now
It helps a lot and makes me see things more clear

Upward2Enlightenment

Mak I will be blunt, GET OFF THE PAIN PILLS. I wound up with an extremely bad percocet addiction which about destroyed my life. I started out fine taking them for back pain then taking more because they made me feel good. it took me a while and things got way out of control.
Also the worse your addiction to them gets the worse withdrawal will be. Get off them now, trust me.

doggonecarl

You don't have to know why you are addicted to quit. If fact, waiting to discover the "why" may just spin you deeper as you seek an answer you may never get.

Just quit.

To me, recovery is about learning to live clean and sober, not unraveling the mysterious of our addictions.

Makrellen

Well, for me, both things are important. Can't speak for no-one else. We are all wired differently I guess. Some aims at stopping the problem, others aim to find the root cause etc. For me it's important to investigate it also
But anyway, its getting better! Alcohol is now out of my life, and now I see the codeine problem. Way before I became really hooked, so that's good
And I'm going to quit that too

Knat84

I agree. You are not sober. Quit while you are somewhat ahead to avoid some nasty withdrawals. I hate to say one substance is as worse as the other, but, getting off of pain pills after having abused them for a while is not fun. It's downright awful. I found getting off of them worse than getting off the booze. Just my personal experience.

Makrellen

I stopped smoking today, so perhaps I'm a bit hyper/weird

But thanks all. I will stop the damn pills
I have half a pack left.. Figured I will use them to taper off a bit, and then not buy again

Knat84

Ehhhh... would not finish them off. That is the reasoning addict in you speaking. I'd flush them.

weirdesttoner

About the "need" to feel good...

I read somewhere that there are two kinds(personalities) of people.

The ones that seek bigger satisfactions in life, work hard and don't mind feeling a little bad for a period of time just to get that big thing they want.

And there is us. Those who don't really mind big things, but immediate satisfaction, even small, is really important.

When i stopped drinking this time i took a really subjective look at myself and my life.

No ambition, no motivation, no enthusiasm, poor payed job, no house, no car, no money, below average body, not a funny or ejoyable person.
All i had on earth was my addiction who gave me 2-3 hours of joy and a dreamless sleep.
I kinda saw my future down this path and it's sure as hell, wasn't a pleasant one.
I wouldn't date me, i wouldn't hire me, i wouldn't even talk to myself!
It is a huge difference between who i want to be and who i really am.

I had so many to change. I dedicated myself into becoming the man i want to be.
It's definitely not fun, but what am I losing?
And i noticed that it's all about creating new habits.
I am not happy now, but i am studying, working, working-out and i'm teaching myself what i want, all for the higher reward.

Maybe you can find something in your life that is much bigger than immediate satisfaction and dedicate yourself to it!

I wish you all the best!

yeahgr8

Wow painkillers, man i was in rehab with someone coming off of painkillers! I would rather detox a hundred times off alcohol than go through that! It was so bad she had to be shipped off yo a medical centre and she had only been on them for 2 years!

You want to rethink this quick my friend!