anykey

My goal from day 1 was to taper the pain pills.

Last night it felt like a sledge hammer and 2 by 4 with a nail in it would be slamming my shoulder. The pain was from hell. I do have a DR rxd med ANSAID for that. Funny thing I listen to the warnings on that but not on opiate pain pills. I get those too. I eat them like candy.

So ok- I had pain. 1/2 the board here has pain issues- what am I a special prima donna that should never have pain?

Next- as an addict- there can be any reason to use up all my pills. The weather is too cold/hot, the kids are loud- the neighbor has his car up on blocks next door. I am bored. There are 1 million excuses to freaking pop another pill.

1. any excuse seems like a good one to pop pills.
2. ration and taper- can be elusive. My trusted person to hold pills is not home again. Good thing she is holding my xanax.

3. which day will be a good day to go thru the vomiting- intense temp annoyances, odd food cravings, panic attacks and feelings of doom?

THIS WAS THE WHOLE REASON OF THE TAPER.

My taper right now is elusive.

The taper in theory would cancel out the vomiting.

I am a stubborn mofo and I am the one who will have to pay.

Only I can achieve this- but ok- today will be a humid 85 and no AC. What about all the other days.

Excuses. Yeah-- ok. Everyone here has tons of them. But in the end we all have to pay.

There is no magic bullet.

Druggies are the biggest con artists in the world.

So- if I dont be honest with you- I at least have to be honest with me.

85 degrees today- not the day to be riding the toilet.

Many of you have been there.

I KNOW I have a problem.

I dont really have a question or need advice. I just wanted to share my day with you.

FT

Anykey,

I understand. My original name was FailedTaper for a reason.

Going through withdrawal from drugs means that you deliberately agree to feel like crap, both physically and mentally, for an extended period of time -- anywhere from days to weeks to months. Few can tolerate that without some real resolve and one-on-one support, and I admire any attempt at it.

The fact the some have actually done it serves at least as proof of the possibility of actually succeeding. I hope you figure out your way out of this.

Adnamaeel

Anykey,
I spent 3 weeks in March tapering myself off of oxy and morphine, and it sucked, but it is doable. I found that I had to commit to it every day to make it work. When I knew I was going to give in before I could have my next reduced dose I left my house, and left my drugs there, and went to a movie or out with a friend who didn't know what was going on with me, so we wouldn't talk about it. I took as many as 5 baths a day, because that eased how bad I felt. I watched Requiem For a Dream several times while I was tapering, because the last 5 minutes of that movie scare the living **** out of me. I went through the list in my head of all the people I knew who have died from the drugs I was using, it's a long list. I used every strategy I could think of to keep myself on track, and sometimes all I could do was cry, but in the end, I got to the other side of it. You can too. It won't ever be convenient or easy, but it is so worth it, and so are you.

Sickandtired3

Everyone has to decide what works for them and they have to be honest with thier self about being able to do so. I personally could never taper. If I had them I was gonna take them. A taper can work if you can pull it off day after day. I sure hope it works for you. I will be rooting for you for sure. Just prepare for it and try to keep a good outlook. Those first few days when it's rough just keep saying in a few days I will be over. The hump.
You CAN do it.