forward steps in your recovery
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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forward steps in your recovery
Forward step in my recovery. Please add one of yours. 
I got a freelance job today! I haven't been able to do work like this in a long time!! Between the codie stuff, emotional abuse and physical health my brain couldn't pull this together for many years now. I had the ideas, but I couldn't pull things together.
I am so PROUD of myself. This is a huge step for me. The best thing is, I know I'll be able to do a good job with this assignment.
I got a freelance job today! I haven't been able to do work like this in a long time!! Between the codie stuff, emotional abuse and physical health my brain couldn't pull this together for many years now. I had the ideas, but I couldn't pull things together.
I am so PROUD of myself. This is a huge step for me. The best thing is, I know I'll be able to do a good job with this assignment.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I've felt for decades like I live "in the middle of" myself. Like there's this huge shell and I'm crawled into some kind of panic room in the middle where the real me lives.
I still feel like I've got a shell protecting me most of the time, but I realized today that when I'm with my family, the real me goes all the way out to my skin.
I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it made me happy.
I still feel like I've got a shell protecting me most of the time, but I realized today that when I'm with my family, the real me goes all the way out to my skin.
I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it made me happy.
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Originally Posted by lillamy 
I've felt for decades like I live "in the middle of" myself. Like there's this huge shell and I'm crawled into some kind of panic room in the middle where the real me lives.
I still feel like I've got a shell protecting me most of the time, but I realized today that when I'm with my family, the real me goes all the way out to my skin.
I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it made me happy.
I still feel like I've got a shell protecting me most of the time, but I realized today that when I'm with my family, the real me goes all the way out to my skin.
I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it made me happy.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Congratulations Kt Faith!
I have a tiny area in our house that I started cleaning out tonight. I'm going to start heading there once it is clean to just be me. I started a book for kicks and I want to fins in it.
I have a tiny area in our house that I started cleaning out tonight. I'm going to start heading there once it is clean to just be me. I started a book for kicks and I want to fins in it.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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Originally Posted by CodeJob
Congratulations Kt Faith!
I have a tiny area in our house that I started cleaning out tonight. I'm going to start heading there once it is clean to just be me. I started a book for kicks and I want to fins in it.
I have a tiny area in our house that I started cleaning out tonight. I'm going to start heading there once it is clean to just be me. I started a book for kicks and I want to fins in it.
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My 2-do list is a huge part of my forward steps. Today it's to wash the car and wash the windows by the kitchen sink and at our front door. I'm enjoying spring weather and the chirping birds. I don't like the how they've dive-bombed our house, so I'm glad I'm up to the task today.
Even noticing the birds and nice weather is a step forward for me.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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I am going back to college for my RN. I'm an LPN right now, and have been for 7 years. Finally made the commitment (regardless of situation with AH) to finish with my RN. It will mean a lot of sacrifice and hard work, but I'm in it for the long haul.
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Originally Posted by freetosmile
I am going back to college for my RN. I'm an LPN right now, and have been for 7 years. Finally made the commitment (regardless of situation with AH) to finish with my RN. It will mean a lot of sacrifice and hard work, but I'm in it for the long haul.
Just curious, is it a 2 year or part time program and do they allow challenging any of it?
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Congrats on your new gig, KTF!! Also, I can so relate to not allowing yourself to be your authentic self. I'm trying to force myself to stop I guess living in a shell, I had never thought of it that way. I was supposed to fly to San Diego this weekend, all by myself, to just explore and relax and just be ME, not a wife or a mommy or a daughter just me for a day (travel and photography are two if my biggest loves) but I chickened out and cancelled my flight.
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Originally Posted by keepingthefaith
This is impressive. What a great thing to be doing for yourself, and for others. Wishing you all the best with your classes!
Just curious, is it a 2 year or part time program and do they allow challenging any of it?
Just curious, is it a 2 year or part time program and do they allow challenging any of it?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Originally Posted by Stung
Congrats on your new gig, KTF!! Also, I can so relate to not allowing yourself to be your authentic self. I'm trying to force myself to stop I guess living in a shell, I had never thought of it that way. I was supposed to fly to San Diego this weekend, all by myself, to just explore and relax and just be ME, not a wife or a mommy or a daughter just me for a day (travel and photography are two if my biggest loves) but I chickened out and cancelled my flight.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
I filed for divorce yesterday, finally. I am fearful of the unknown yet excited about what the future holds. For those of you who have read my posts, I have been planning to file since the beginning of the year but things keep popping up to prevent me from doing so (hubby became unemployed, family member deaths etc). I took the advice of everyone and decided there would be no perfect time to file, something will always be there and I need to put myself and my needs first for a change regardless of how it affects others. That is a big step for my codie self!
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Originally Posted by unsureoffuture
I filed for divorce yesterday, finally. I am fearful of the unknown yet excited about what the future holds. For those of you who have read my posts, I have been planning to file since the beginning of the year but things keep popping up to prevent me from doing so (hubby became unemployed, family member deaths etc). I took the advice of everyone and decided there would be no perfect time to file, something will always be there and I need to put myself and my needs first for a change regardless of how it affects others. That is a big step for my codie self!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
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In your wildest dreams, sucka!
Don't discount my progress just because I'm not following steps. You have heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, right?
Thanks, KTF. I'm going to take a smaller scale trip instead, something within driving distance. I'm afraid to take my mommy hat off for a whole day.
Don't discount my progress just because I'm not following steps. You have heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, right?
Thanks, KTF. I'm going to take a smaller scale trip instead, something within driving distance. I'm afraid to take my mommy hat off for a whole day.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by Stung
In your wildest dreams, sucka!
Don't discount my progress just because I'm not following steps. You have heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, right?
Don't discount my progress just because I'm not following steps. You have heard the story of the tortoise and the hare, right?
Men's Step Group, Passing on the Right.
Double Time, All the Time.
Don't mind (eating) our dust . . . .
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 134
I spontaneously applied for a new job even though I have a current job... I am usually afraid of change and am nervous about leaving a "sure thing" for something new. The Sure Thing is in a field unfamiliar to me and pays 1/2 of my old salary (I was laid off 3 years ago), but I have been doing it for almost a year... a whole year of NOT making ends meet.
I have already received a response on the job and have an interview set up for a couple of weeks from now!!! Gaaahhhhh... I'm terrified, but moving forward!
I have already received a response on the job and have an interview set up for a couple of weeks from now!!! Gaaahhhhh... I'm terrified, but moving forward!
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
LOL Hammer and Stung!
KTF and all of you who are making such wonderful progress, that is GREAT!! So super proud of you.
lilamy....I completely get what you are saying b/c I feel just the same way. I am me, truly me, all the time!
I will get my final divorce papers to sign next week, so excited for that!
And oddly...proud of myself for starting my mower by myself! We always have trouble w/it the first start, I did not think I was going to be able to do it. It FINALLY started after fighting it for a while. My neighbor said he was about to come do it for me, but the determined look on my face made him wait a big. He said the look on my face when it started was worth a mint! That made me so happy LOL! (It's the small things)!
My daughter (14) is being confirmed this weekend, very excited for that!
Blessings to everyone!
KTF and all of you who are making such wonderful progress, that is GREAT!! So super proud of you.
lilamy....I completely get what you are saying b/c I feel just the same way. I am me, truly me, all the time!
I will get my final divorce papers to sign next week, so excited for that!
And oddly...proud of myself for starting my mower by myself! We always have trouble w/it the first start, I did not think I was going to be able to do it. It FINALLY started after fighting it for a while. My neighbor said he was about to come do it for me, but the determined look on my face made him wait a big. He said the look on my face when it started was worth a mint! That made me so happy LOL! (It's the small things)!
My daughter (14) is being confirmed this weekend, very excited for that!
Blessings to everyone!
Living in the moment
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 167
Update.
This post from my previous account here was just before my husband (alcoholic, in his advancing illness) lost his job which included our place of residence we had been at for 12 years. It sucked.
I was strong enough to handle it. Sober Recovery Forums, Al-Anon and Domestic Abuse Recovery help centers pulled me through, One Day At A Time.
Where I am now:
lost. Looking Over Spiritual Terrain acronym. I appreciate the process. My husband lives across the state, is still doing the roundabout of not sober/sober/what-is-recovery whatever. I logically do not trust when he says he's sober. Have I, in the past 6 months, observed him drunk and had him accuse me later of "telling lies about him" when I first kept quiet and later approached the thought of another alcohol recovery center? Yes. It's been several centers like this that have also helped my own recovery from this "family disease of alcoholism". Family weeks, healthy insights, many grateful contacts in my phone list to keep me centered, balanced, moving onward in my own life. This "being quiet" was simply staying on my side of the street. There was no necessary part of me being outspoken in ***this*** instance.
I've asked Great Spirit for a divorce, started the process in the courts with my husband, it's hit a snag and I'm waiting, praying, doing everything I can. Healthy balance. God timing.
playful snag acronym: sensational needed abundant grace
This post from my previous account here was just before my husband (alcoholic, in his advancing illness) lost his job which included our place of residence we had been at for 12 years. It sucked.
I was strong enough to handle it. Sober Recovery Forums, Al-Anon and Domestic Abuse Recovery help centers pulled me through, One Day At A Time.
Where I am now:
lost. Looking Over Spiritual Terrain acronym. I appreciate the process. My husband lives across the state, is still doing the roundabout of not sober/sober/what-is-recovery whatever. I logically do not trust when he says he's sober. Have I, in the past 6 months, observed him drunk and had him accuse me later of "telling lies about him" when I first kept quiet and later approached the thought of another alcohol recovery center? Yes. It's been several centers like this that have also helped my own recovery from this "family disease of alcoholism". Family weeks, healthy insights, many grateful contacts in my phone list to keep me centered, balanced, moving onward in my own life. This "being quiet" was simply staying on my side of the street. There was no necessary part of me being outspoken in ***this*** instance.
I've asked Great Spirit for a divorce, started the process in the courts with my husband, it's hit a snag and I'm waiting, praying, doing everything I can. Healthy balance. God timing.
playful snag acronym: sensational needed abundant grace
Living in the moment
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 167
Where I was this afternoon. ^^^
reflecting, allowing self a complete open heart.
Today has been "it's not about me" in what feels very healthy. Reflect on past "stuff", show up for my recovery circles, show up for friends who care authentically for me, etc.
Some days, my recovery includes a day of space open for nothing I planned, introspection and playtime, joy, self-confidence.
reflecting, allowing self a complete open heart.
Today has been "it's not about me" in what feels very healthy. Reflect on past "stuff", show up for my recovery circles, show up for friends who care authentically for me, etc.
Some days, my recovery includes a day of space open for nothing I planned, introspection and playtime, joy, self-confidence.
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