TonyReeceAustin

Everyone,

I am attempting to recover from a meth addiction that has taken a huge toll on my family, my career and just my life in general. I am meeting with my supervisor today along with my sponsor to talk about what are the logical next steps for me to get clean and overcome this terrible disease.

I am scared, embarrassed, ashamed and honestly I feel like I am still detoxing from a 4 day binge last week so my head is not all in the game. I don't know what to expect but I do know that I cant live this way anymore. Thank you for all of your posts that continue to encourage me as I begin this journey...again.

ChickChick

I'm new so I'm not much help but my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Thirdtime

New here too. But, thoughts and prayers are with you. Think about what you do have left in your life. I am sure there are some diamonds in the aftermath.

TonyReeceAustin

My head is in a fog and I am a big bowl of emotional spaghetti. I have an 8 week old son and a wife who is just as hurt and confused as I am. Why I would make the same choices after having a child just breaks me and has me questioning how selfish I could actually be. Defeated would be the right word and my hope and prayer is that I wont forget how this feels...ever. Then maybe in the future I can draw on this pain for strength.

resolute50

Defeated is when somebody stops trying. And you are here and questioning your own motives. That my friend is far from defeated.
Prayers for you.

hopeful4

Good for you that you are admitting you cannot do this alone and need help. Don't be embarrassed. Be proud and hold your head high and know that while you cannot do it alone, if you commit and actually work recovery you can do it.

Good Luck and God Bless!

HumbleNumb

I am lifting you up now... you seem to have arrived at the place, that for many of us, became the foundation upon which we built our futures... our happy, healthy, sober and clean futures...
I pray that you find your motivation to change in the current pain... and you will rise out of the ashes like the phoenix... today is the beginning of a new life for you and your family... Grace is big enough to make even days like you are facing today worthwhile...
Love on... Live on... Hang in there for the you you know you are!

least

I'm glad you're still trying to break the cycle.

Anna

Tony, I hope this is a bottom and changing day for you. Try to accept what happens at work, and focus on getting well. Be kind to yourself and don't allow the negative thoughts to bring you down. You can get through this.

RazaR

Tony,
I have been in your shoes bro. 9 years ago I was hooked and on the same substance for almost an entire year at least once a week. During that time I had met a wonderful woman and her beautiful little girl. When I realized things were getting serious between us I came clean with her and her family. I knew what I wanted and I knew I couldn't be a good father unless I cleaned up first. I sincerely wanted to be the success story that I could tell my kids later in life as an example that you CAN do whatever it is you need/want to do. We've been married for 8yrs and we now have 3 beautiful daughters. I did it.... I managed to put it down the day I came clean and never pick it up again. Her little girl who is now my 11yr old adopted daughter is my biggest inspiration in my life.

Ugh, I dont need the tears right now....

You can do it. You have it in you.

Now I need to do it all over again because I drink too much... that will be my next success story.