February13

My ex is in the hospital.
He is a heroin addict. His lungs are in very bad shape from Severe
Emphysema and now he has an exacerbation of this condition.
The ER doctor prescribed morphine but the doctor that is responsible for him
now has cancelled the prescription (without seeing him!) and put him on an "alcoholic protocol"?

One nurse told me to bring him some dope myself (he still has some with
him) The other offered me the papers to discharge him against doctor
orders. (go home and die?)

I am pretty sure he needs opiates to keep breathing in his condition.

The opiates help his breathing and when he starts to withdraw he can't breathe at all. His lungs are very very damaged.

I don't know what to do. I feel that he shouldn't have to self-medicate in the hospital. I really believe he could die if wakes up and can't reach his dope in time.

Advice?
Comments?

(with a few more days of steroids and antibiotics he might be well enough
to go home though he seems to have caught the flu in the hospital and when you have emphysema the flu can kill you (according to the vaccination nurses who thought we should all get the flu vaccine (because the flu could kill him!))

lizwig

Don't bring him drugs into the hospital. That would immediately put your intentions into question and could get you arrested. Instead....ask to speak to the medical director of the ED and let the current treating physician know your x's case is complex and while you respect his opinion you feel others should weigh in on it. While you wait to speak with medical director ask the charge nurse to be put in touch with the hospitals risk management office and request a care conference be pulled together because of concerns with care he is currently receiving. Sometimes patients and families tend to think more should be done and often there is much being done behind the scenes they are unaware of. My best advice is be proactive and not reactive. Your goal is to get everyone on the same page. If you have information learned through previous hospitalizations be prepared to share. Are you his proxy? Is he unable to participate and make his own decisions? If you aren't his proxy this will impact what can be shared with you. Hope this helps. Sounds like you are a good advocate for him. Keep things factual and to the point in your communications with staff. Often times they know friends and family are better historians than the patient themselves.

chicory

What a terrible situation for your Ex, and all who care about him. He is lucky to have you to be his advocate.

wishing him luck and healing.

Ann

I agree, do not take him drugs, you could end up in jail and the way he is healthwise right now, it could kill him. He may very well already be on other medication and you have no way of knowing what or how the mix would act.

Talk to his doctor, get clear information and make sure he has his instructions passed on to the nursing staff. And report the nurse who told you to bring drugs, she/he should be fired for such reckless suggestions.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but please do not try to outguess the professionals and treat him yourself. Find a good doctor to make sure he is getting good care, then accept what is knowing you helped in a constructive way.

Hugs

YearForMe

I agree with what was shared above. Especially the part about reporting the person that told you to bring drugs from home.

Your compassion is shining through in all you do. Please remember that most of this is a result of the damage the drugs have done to his body.
So very sad when this happens, and it may not be reversible this time.

Keep advocating where you can and trust that God or your HP has the rest covered for you.

Biskits

You MUST be the patient advocate for your boyfriend, and you're going to have to muster up the strength and fight for him, so that he gets the care that he needs. DO NOT bring drugs into the hospital, just in case you get caught (that would make the situation worse), but follow lizwig's advice!!!
Good luck to you <3

dessy

Morphine makes there breathing more difficult and suppressess it. The dr knows what he is doing

cynical one

He is your EX, right? And never was your husband?

Unless he has legally given you medical directive, the hospital shouldn't be giving you any information about him.

Does he not have any family who can legally advocate for him?

Impurrfect

Good point, CO, but if you are allowed to be his advocate, I agree with lizwig. I'm not going to get in giving medical advice, but as a former RN, morphine IS often given in situations like this, in small doses.

Everyone in the hospital has a boss - doctors, nurses, etc. Sometimes you have to climb the chain of command. I recommend keeping a list with names of who you've talked to and which nurses were totally out of line in their recommendations.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

allforcnm

February,

Im so sorry. I will be sending up prayers for all of you tonight.

February13

Yearforme-- how do you know that most of this is a result of the damage the drugs
have done to his body?? I don't know that. He was 10 years clean when he got
diagnosed with the severe emphysema. His lungs might not have been perfect but we
used to go hiking in the mountains together..

February13

CO- He doesn't have anybody else and he did sign a power of attorney document which I
would have to find (it's in the filing cabinet) but so far it was not requested.

I do want to be there for him.

February13

I tried and tried to get him help but got nowhere until I told one (different) nurse what was going on and she called her boss who was very angry AT US (me and the ex!).
After 2 days of having everybody pretend he was not an addict despite us telling everyone over and over this woman was very angry that he was using his own stuff.
We agreed to go to a different hospital. I took him home and we are still there.
He said he'll go tomorrow. I called the other hospital and they told me they treat everybody with respect, I hope it's true. And I hope he does go.
His breathing is somewhat better (he is able to walk around the house) but I think he needs more care.
One of the hospital's social worker said his nurses didn't have a high level of comfort with his issue (drug addiction not emphysema).They acted like they were going to catch something and just stayed as far from him as they could. Once I was wheeling him out I finally got a smile for the one nurse who was there.
(He also got one very nice nurse while he was there who treated him right and arranged for him to have a shower)

allforcnm

I think its good you can be there for him February.. Im so sorry to hear that he has been treated improperly by part of the hospital staff; it sounds like his condition is quite serious and everyone deserves compassionate and capable care. I hope he will go to the other hospital tomorrow; good thoughts being sent out to all of you.

jjj111

February, when you say he was "using his own stuff", do you mean he was using heroin in the hospital? I hope you will be careful. It must be very hard to watch him suffer, but as others have said, you could end up in legal trouble if you get involved in bringing him heroin or helping him use in the hospital.

February13

He brought the dope in his pockets when he took the ambulance. I did not help him use.

We have a 4 year old child, transporting drugs is not an option.

Fandy

but he is now in your home using drugs while your 4 year old child is present?

I find it hard to believe that he and you told EVERYONE including social services that he was using his own drugs in the hospital because he is an addict and they completely ignored you until they "got mad at you".
the doctors round 2X a day, morning and night, did he tell them? did you ask to speak to the physician resident assigned to his service?

i'm sorry but the information that you are giving does not add up correctly.

February13

I don't know if social worker = social services.

The only doctor I ever saw was at ER where they did address his addiction.
The nurses "upstairs" refused to call a doctor, they said they would get into trouble for
bothering the doctor. It was week-end. One doctor did review his file on saturday
morning but either the doctor didn't go in the room or he found him sleeping and
decided to not wake him. The social worker called the nurses to try to get them to get
a doctor to review the file but they wouldn't do it. It was almost 6 pm saturday and he
checked on us the next day and at this point my ex had been told that he was going to
be sent home the next morning and the social worker told him it was great that he was
upfront with the doctors/nurses and encouraged him to keep being upfront in his
dealings with health care workers but he also acknowledge that he was using his own
dope and that there was no way to see a doctor.

We did spend two nights at his house. We have a huge room upstairs (that he can't
even get to in his condition) and he is in a room downstairs.
We are now home.

hopeful4

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am afraid that will continue to become more and more common as H becomes more and more of an epidemic. My sister is highway patrol and she actually stays by the person she takes to the hospital until they are admitted and put in a room because if she does not they just have them leave. It's an evil cycle. I know on the hospital side they see that active H users and bath salt users are taking up time from other patients. However, it is not their place to make that call. Each person deserves equal consideration.

I have to say, I too would draw the line if he was actively using in the hospital. As an employee I definitely would not deal with someone using right in front of me. However, they should have been helping him without street drug use.

I hope you are not letting him use with a child in the home.

Good Luck and God Bless.