April914

Since I have sneaking and taking shots of vodka. Sometimes starting the morning and doing it all day.

SoberLeigh

Hi April - I am not sure what you mean. Has it been two since you have snuck a drink or have you been sneaking a drink for two days?

April914

Oh I have been "sneaking" for at least 5 or 6 years. It's been two days since I haven't had anything.

Treerat66

Hi April, welcome to SR

April914

Thanks. By saying sneaking, I mean I thought I was hiding everything very well when in fact everyone around me knew. It's so hard falling asleep when I am used to just passing out. But last night I remember thinking how great my new sheets felt. The sad thing is I bought them 7 months ago.

SoberLeigh

So you are on Day 2; that's great, April; recognizing how great your new sheets feel is just the beginning.

How are you feeling?

April914

At times really great. This morning I actually felt like getting up for work. Which is good because if I call in late one more time I don't know what would happen. Sometimes I feel free but other times like I am missing out. I get emotional, teary. I have back pain which kind of escalated the drinking so really feeling that pain and not being numb has been hard. I like remembering the evenings after work, conversations that I have but if it was in front of me I'd most likely still take a drink, even with the positive seemingly outweighing the negative feelings. That little voice is in my head saying that it's Friday, you've been good for two days, you deserve it...

apo

don listen to that voice April
It is been talking to me for 15 years and nothing really good came out of that.
i know how easier it is to cope with pain both emotional and physical with the help of alcohol, but trust me the result is always the same.
The pain just hides for some hours but after that he is back and he is even stronger.
i m a newcomer too as you
i ve been good for 5 days
keep fighting

Needinghelp82

I've been dreading that same voice all day so I've kept busy and it's not arrived. You've done two days, you can do another.

I'm sure the weekends will be hardest (on my first) but this can be done. I've got some sparkling juice in, is there anything you could drink that is alcohol free? I'm not going to do this long term but I thought it might help for the first Friday and Saturday when I'm used to drinking a lot of wine.

April914

Thanks apo. I've been keeping a journal and just keep reading again how happy I genuinely felt this morning. I look at my arms and chest and face in the mirror and realize why people always ask me if I have been out in the sun. I hope the redness will go away one day.

April914

Needinghelp82 I have been drinking Bob Marley Mellow Mood drink. It's all natural, herbal with pure cane sugar. It has been helpful.

Hevyn

2 days is a wonderful accomplishment April. We all now how hard it is. I was drinking all day - even at work - and I'm sure people knew but didn't want to confront me. I have no desire to go back to that miserable life.

Glad you joined us and are off to a great start.

KateL

I was just the same April. Well done for doing something about it. It's never easy xxxxx

April914

KateL, I made it through Friday night, then Saturday I worked. Saturday evening I was fine. Sunday day I wanted something so bad. I took a shot of vodka, then I poured it all out. I know I shouldn't still have something in my house. I felt guilty but I am moving on. First weekend in years I can remember. It was beautiful. I am not going to drag myself down about the slip up. Thanks for listening. I had to tell someone.