kathmandu

-

Why is that although any day I've spent sober (except the first couple of dreadful recovery days), since quitting, has been better than ANY day I spent drunk -

- that -

I still can't reconcile myself with not drinking in the future?

I still have desires for alcohol in different places and circumstances.

And I don't want them!!!

Nonsensical

It's called addiction.

Glad you're beating yours!

afloatsober

Yer man said it...... 'addiction'
We can spend a thousand years trying to figure it or just leave it in our wake...
I am also glad that you are winning today
G

instant

Why is not as useful as developing strategies to deal with this phenomena.

AA calls what you describe as the obssession. It settled somewhat for me after 90 days. the phenomena however is still a part of my life I have to deal with in the same way as some deal with chronic medical symptoms.

Notmyrealname

Things take time. For most it's not just a matter of flicking the alcohol switch to the OFF position. You spend years working on your drinking, can't expect to change overnight.

But you can expect things to change if you keep working at it.

biminiblue

Habit. Until you fill your life with new behaviors, everything reminds you to do what you've always done.

GracieLou

I can't answer that for you, I can answer it for me though, it is because I am an alcoholic.

I am unique in the fact that not everyone has cravings for alcohol, I am not unique as there are many like me and I found them in the rooms of AA.

I gave up asking why I am an alcoholic, I am, I have accepted it and moved from asking why to what do I do about it.

ontherightpath

I have often wondered the same. But that's because I was too blind to see the truth. Sure, when I am sober I still have mood swings-- from elation to anger-- but I can actually feel them. When I am drunk I have the same swings, but I don't remember them at all. When I am sober I am quick to apologize for wrong doings, when drunk I don't care, until the next day when I am sobering up, in a panic stricken state of omg, what did I do or say. For me, sobriety doesn't allow me to hide. It allows me to be me, who I really am. And drinking robs that from me. I am learning to be comfortable and confident with myself. When I am drinking I don't feel secure in who I am, and I feel like a spectator because I typically have to ask others what happened. Easy does it, don't over complicate it and allow yourself to feel these things. There is a lesson in every single action and thought.

OklaBH

Congrats on it sobriety. It's a huge gift

FreeOwl

in my experience, the asking "why" is what leads to the continued cycle.

The "I am going to figure this thing out" line of reasoning is a clever disguise for "I figure I can BEAT this... and then I'll be able to drink like a normal person..."

Which is a clever disguise for obsession....

Which is basically just the bottom line fact that we have an addiction.

When I stopped trying to figure out WHY and focused on accepting that it IS... I had better luck ending the cycle.

And yet, even now..... I find myself re-visited by that little voice trying to "figure it out" and convince me I can do it.

So - it's a road of constant vigilance.....

Looking4Help123

Because it's a toxic addictive substance, you are addicted chemically, habitually, socially, and psychologically, and all of them at once. It is not easy, but you CAN do it.