I went to my first....
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I went to my first....
AA meeting tonight. I had to take Spot so I decided I would just go too. I walked into this smoke filled room with bikers and a room full of men. I was the only female. I was shaking in my swamp boots.
I looked up and there hanging from the ceiling was a silver disco ball. It brought my thoughts back to you and I told myself I could do this. I know Spot was just as afraid as I was because before we left he just said loudly " I'm not afraid of anything" I asked what fear had to do with our conversation and he just didn't reply.
So of course I had to sit in that meeting pretending I wasn't afraid. Then the leader handed me the prayer to read. I quickly handed it right over to Spot. He got up in the microphone and read the prayer. Whew!
The speaker was a woman, and it could have been Spot up there telling his story. Almost the same story. He was very quiet when we left and very grumpy.
I noticed that he had a wall of protection up. And so self critical. I touched his shoulder on the way out and he almost died. Woops.
So, I noticed that they had an alanon meeting there on Friday nights. I guess if I could make it through this night, I can make it through an alanon meeting.
Spot has a long way to go. I know that now after tonight. The walls are still strong.
Hugs,
MG
I looked up and there hanging from the ceiling was a silver disco ball. It brought my thoughts back to you and I told myself I could do this. I know Spot was just as afraid as I was because before we left he just said loudly " I'm not afraid of anything" I asked what fear had to do with our conversation and he just didn't reply.
So of course I had to sit in that meeting pretending I wasn't afraid. Then the leader handed me the prayer to read. I quickly handed it right over to Spot. He got up in the microphone and read the prayer. Whew!
The speaker was a woman, and it could have been Spot up there telling his story. Almost the same story. He was very quiet when we left and very grumpy.
I noticed that he had a wall of protection up. And so self critical. I touched his shoulder on the way out and he almost died. Woops.
So, I noticed that they had an alanon meeting there on Friday nights. I guess if I could make it through this night, I can make it through an alanon meeting.
Spot has a long way to go. I know that now after tonight. The walls are still strong.
Hugs,
MG
Well, it's a step for Spot, if he
really wants this, he'll do it. I have
been to A.A. meetings myself, and 15
years ago I went to Alanon meetings, it
just didn't sink in-I guess I wasn't
ready to end my need for suffering! My
"baby" just left, and boy, was he in a
mood, I couldn't wait for him to leave.
I wish you and I could go to meeting
together, I'm still real nervous about
it for some reason. I'm proud of Spot,
at this time my kids would never contem-
plate any kind of help, they are too
proud, macho, etc., and then that would
mean admitting there was a problem!
Hang in there!
really wants this, he'll do it. I have
been to A.A. meetings myself, and 15
years ago I went to Alanon meetings, it
just didn't sink in-I guess I wasn't
ready to end my need for suffering! My
"baby" just left, and boy, was he in a
mood, I couldn't wait for him to leave.
I wish you and I could go to meeting
together, I'm still real nervous about
it for some reason. I'm proud of Spot,
at this time my kids would never contem-
plate any kind of help, they are too
proud, macho, etc., and then that would
mean admitting there was a problem!
Hang in there!
MG
I misssed you last night, and now I know it was because you were doing something good. Yeah.
You will meet all different type of people at these meetings, and I am sur[rised that as a "newcomer" Spot wasn't approached and welcomed personally by many of them. They usually do. If it wasn't too good, try another. Or give this one another chance.
I speak at a men's recovery house about 3 times a year. It is a 3 month program, so the residents are different each time. The first time it was like a room full of "Ritchie Cunninghams" and I was very comfortable. The second time it was like a room full of "bikers" and my thought was "Oh my God, they are either 'with me' or 'against me'. Well, they ended up being one of the most supportive groups I ever spoke to.
So you just never know. And good for you for deciding to try the Al-Anon meeting. Hope it is a rewarding experience.
I misssed you last night, and now I know it was because you were doing something good. Yeah.
You will meet all different type of people at these meetings, and I am sur[rised that as a "newcomer" Spot wasn't approached and welcomed personally by many of them. They usually do. If it wasn't too good, try another. Or give this one another chance.
I speak at a men's recovery house about 3 times a year. It is a 3 month program, so the residents are different each time. The first time it was like a room full of "Ritchie Cunninghams" and I was very comfortable. The second time it was like a room full of "bikers" and my thought was "Oh my God, they are either 'with me' or 'against me'. Well, they ended up being one of the most supportive groups I ever spoke to.
So you just never know. And good for you for deciding to try the Al-Anon meeting. Hope it is a rewarding experience.
Josie and MG, I encourage you to go to a few meetings. When you find the right one you will realy love it! I go to my weekly meeting today at lunchtime. I look forward to it all week and I am rarely disappointed. It is such a relief to speak to people that have been there (as you know from this board)but it is another level to meet with people face to face. These people won't judge you.
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