Walked into the Danger Zone
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Great White North
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Walked into the Danger Zone
Sometimes I carpool to/from work. This evening after work my friend was driving (we almost always use his car, and I buy the gas), and on the way out of town he slows the car down and I realize he is going to pull into that liquor store on the corner--a store I know well.
I mumbled something stupid like, "Oh…what are we doing here." The thing is, I have told nobody (outside of the SR community) about my current attempt at sobriety.
"I'm gonna get some cider," he said. I have known him for years, even as roommates for a while, and he is one of those people who can apparently drink about one or two drinks a week and consider such behavior hard-core partying.
Mistake number one was, when he parked the car, I got out and went in the liquor store with him. I feared that if I just sat there in the parking lot, my behavior would be incriminatingly odd, given how my friend knows me. So in the store we go. We look around, he grabs a six-pack of cider. My heart is pounding. I really don't think I was tempted, but I was scared that I might become tempted, and being torn within temptation is a bad spot to be in.
"You getting anything?" asks my friend.
"No," I say, "I've got plenty at home."
And so he pays, we leave, back on the road we talk about our respective days at our respective jobs, he drops me off at home, and here I am, still sober at the end of Day Four. This was a close call. And reading now what I have just written makes me feel good, even gives me a tentative smile…I got through that unexpected challenge. Fortunately, by some combination of luck, strength, and Grace, I never went from mistake number one to mistake number two. Not tonight anyway. Tomorrow will be Day Five.
I mumbled something stupid like, "Oh…what are we doing here." The thing is, I have told nobody (outside of the SR community) about my current attempt at sobriety.
"I'm gonna get some cider," he said. I have known him for years, even as roommates for a while, and he is one of those people who can apparently drink about one or two drinks a week and consider such behavior hard-core partying.
Mistake number one was, when he parked the car, I got out and went in the liquor store with him. I feared that if I just sat there in the parking lot, my behavior would be incriminatingly odd, given how my friend knows me. So in the store we go. We look around, he grabs a six-pack of cider. My heart is pounding. I really don't think I was tempted, but I was scared that I might become tempted, and being torn within temptation is a bad spot to be in.
"You getting anything?" asks my friend.
"No," I say, "I've got plenty at home."
And so he pays, we leave, back on the road we talk about our respective days at our respective jobs, he drops me off at home, and here I am, still sober at the end of Day Four. This was a close call. And reading now what I have just written makes me feel good, even gives me a tentative smile…I got through that unexpected challenge. Fortunately, by some combination of luck, strength, and Grace, I never went from mistake number one to mistake number two. Not tonight anyway. Tomorrow will be Day Five.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Originally Posted by Taproot 
Sometimes I carpool to/from work. This evening after work my friend was driving (we almost always use his car, and I buy the gas), and on the way out of town he slows the car down and I realize he is going to pull into that liquor store on the corner--a store I know well.
I mumbled something stupid like, "Oh…what are we doing here." The thing is, I have told nobody (outside of the SR community) about my current attempt at sobriety.
"I'm gonna get some cider," he said. I have known him for years, even as roommates for a while, and he is one of those people who can apparently drink about one or two drinks a week and consider such behavior hard-core partying.
Mistake number one was, when he parked the car, I got out and went in the liquor store with him. I feared that if I just sat there in the parking lot, my behavior would be incriminatingly odd, given how my friend knows me. So in the store we go. We look around, he grabs a six-pack of cider. My heart is pounding. I really don't think I was tempted, but I was scared that I might become tempted, and being torn within temptation is a bad spot to be in.
"You getting anything?" asks my friend.
"No," I say, "I've got plenty at home."
And so he pays, we leave, back on the road we talk about our respective days at our respective jobs, he drops me off at home, and here I am, still sober at the end of Day Four. This was a close call. And reading now what I have just written makes me feel good, even gives me a tentative smile…I got through that unexpected challenge. Fortunately, by some combination of luck, strength, and Grace, I never went from mistake number one to mistake number two. Not tonight anyway. Tomorrow will be Day Five.
I mumbled something stupid like, "Oh…what are we doing here." The thing is, I have told nobody (outside of the SR community) about my current attempt at sobriety.
"I'm gonna get some cider," he said. I have known him for years, even as roommates for a while, and he is one of those people who can apparently drink about one or two drinks a week and consider such behavior hard-core partying.
Mistake number one was, when he parked the car, I got out and went in the liquor store with him. I feared that if I just sat there in the parking lot, my behavior would be incriminatingly odd, given how my friend knows me. So in the store we go. We look around, he grabs a six-pack of cider. My heart is pounding. I really don't think I was tempted, but I was scared that I might become tempted, and being torn within temptation is a bad spot to be in.
"You getting anything?" asks my friend.
"No," I say, "I've got plenty at home."
And so he pays, we leave, back on the road we talk about our respective days at our respective jobs, he drops me off at home, and here I am, still sober at the end of Day Four. This was a close call. And reading now what I have just written makes me feel good, even gives me a tentative smile…I got through that unexpected challenge. Fortunately, by some combination of luck, strength, and Grace, I never went from mistake number one to mistake number two. Not tonight anyway. Tomorrow will be Day Five.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Well done for getting through it Taproot.
But (and it's a big but I'm afraid), be very, very careful my friend.
It would have been so easy to reach for a bottle and pay for it almost without you knowing what you were doing.
The AV beast can play a waiting game and may use this success against you, lull you into a false sense of security and pounce the next time this happens.
Don't mean to p*** on your fireworks (you did do well), just be carefull.
But (and it's a big but I'm afraid), be very, very careful my friend.
It would have been so easy to reach for a bottle and pay for it almost without you knowing what you were doing.
The AV beast can play a waiting game and may use this success against you, lull you into a false sense of security and pounce the next time this happens.
Don't mean to p*** on your fireworks (you did do well), just be carefull.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Well played, sir! Not a lot you could have done to avoid that spot. Sometimes you have to play it where it lies.
That said, hopefully you don't have any other trips to the liquor outlet coming up in the near future, better to skip that quicksand altogether if possible at this stage of the game.
That said, hopefully you don't have any other trips to the liquor outlet coming up in the near future, better to skip that quicksand altogether if possible at this stage of the game.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Well done.
You should consider telling some people that you are trying sobriety. Many people will be very supportive. You'll find out that some people you thought were friends really aren't as good of friends as you thought (I have one "friend" that STILL bugs me to get a drink once or twice a year).
Also this kept me a little more accountable, knowing that if I had another drink I would be letting them down as well. By no means would I tell everyone if you are not ready. I am just sharing that it helped me.
As you get far enough along in your sobriety you will eventually feel very comfortable telling anyone and everyone "I don't drink". No elaboration or explanations needed or offered.
You should consider telling some people that you are trying sobriety. Many people will be very supportive. You'll find out that some people you thought were friends really aren't as good of friends as you thought (I have one "friend" that STILL bugs me to get a drink once or twice a year).
Also this kept me a little more accountable, knowing that if I had another drink I would be letting them down as well. By no means would I tell everyone if you are not ready. I am just sharing that it helped me.
As you get far enough along in your sobriety you will eventually feel very comfortable telling anyone and everyone "I don't drink". No elaboration or explanations needed or offered.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Great White North
Posts: 92
Thanks all for your comments. It is now "the morning after" this close call, and I'm trying to see what lessons can be learned from yesterday.
As a couple folks have mentioned here, I am also concerned that the wrong lesson I can take from this experience is, "Hey, no problem, you've proven that you've got this sobriety thing locked down…you can relax a little, maybe even have a couple beers tonight."
Also, I am somewhat surprised at how uncomfortable I am in letting people know I am not drinking…perhaps such an admission will mean I have to admit that I *need* to quit drinking, which is something I don't want people to know…a big step.
On the up side, now Day Five, still sober. Every day sober is another small expansion of my "sobriety skill-set."
As a couple folks have mentioned here, I am also concerned that the wrong lesson I can take from this experience is, "Hey, no problem, you've proven that you've got this sobriety thing locked down…you can relax a little, maybe even have a couple beers tonight."
Also, I am somewhat surprised at how uncomfortable I am in letting people know I am not drinking…perhaps such an admission will mean I have to admit that I *need* to quit drinking, which is something I don't want people to know…a big step.
On the up side, now Day Five, still sober. Every day sober is another small expansion of my "sobriety skill-set."
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Well done Taproot.
I think you have taken time to think about this and have emerged with the proper analysis. Complacency for us can be a major issue, especially with that AV telling you that a different lesson should be learnt i.e
"Hey, no problem, you've proven that you've got this sobriety thing locked down…you can relax a little, maybe even have a couple beers tonight."
Good work Fella
Keep your sobriety weapons honed.
Peace
I think you have taken time to think about this and have emerged with the proper analysis. Complacency for us can be a major issue, especially with that AV telling you that a different lesson should be learnt i.e
"Hey, no problem, you've proven that you've got this sobriety thing locked down…you can relax a little, maybe even have a couple beers tonight."
Good work Fella
Keep your sobriety weapons honed.
Peace
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