carmen220

What are the most common physical symptoms of alcoholism? I worry as I see symptoms and am not sure if these are signs of the negative impact of the alcohol. My A only drinks beer and wine, but has these symptoms:

1. bloating (face/stomach)
2. grey in the whites of the eyes - very concerned about that; worried that the eyes can indicate damaged organs. Is this one common?
3. spider veins on cheeks
4. white tongue - does this mean excessive drinking (even though he claims he's not drinking?)

I think about his health and just want to be aware. Are these all common; what are other symptoms to watch for? He always tries to minimize things; but wish he would see a doctor.

ladyscribbler

Flaky scalp, dry skin, digestive issues, incontinence, hallucinations, bruised and bleeding knuckles from punching walls/doors/floors/people, vomiting, loss of appetite, jaundice, cirrhosis of the liver, blackouts, death.
And the main symptom- not caring about any of these adverse effects and continuing to drink yourself to death. Alcoholism is slow-motion suicide.
You are more concerned about this man than he is about himself. You are not going to save him.
Save yourself instead.
Codependency For Dummies Cheat Sheet - For Dummies

Look, you probably think I'm a real B****, and you might be right, but I wish someone had told me all of this stuff five years ago.

Snood

Hi carmen220,

I'm seeing changes in my wife, who is a functioning alcoholic who's just turned 60.

The grey whites of the eyes are evident. As I understand it, yellowing of the sclera (whites) is what to look out for. It indicates liver problems, as does jaundice.

Her skin is noticeably dry. This seems to have more to do with the booze than with her age.

She has long, dyed blonde hair, an awful lot of which clogs the vacuum cleaner's brush. She blamed the hair loss on her blood pressure pills. These have been changed but the hair loss goes on.

She's very slim but has a noticeably swollen abdomen.

Spider veins? None on the face or neck but by her choice, I haven't seen her naked for over two years.

She was once utterly convinced that someone had entered the house. I returned home to find her outside in her dressing gown (in February), with the police on the way. I'd already established that the front door was locked - she escaped via the rear door. 'Auditory hallucination', I thought...this happened after a non-drinking night. Still, only one of us looked a bit stupid when three vans (6 police) arrived!

I just hope that she notices the changes before they become an indicator of an incurable illness. On 1+ bottles of cheap sparking per day, it could easily happen to her.

CodeJob

Head in sand.
Bloated face, abdomen, ego.
Snore like train with apnea, talks in circles of deflection.
Bloodshot eyes, yellow or grayish, often empty window to soul, tortured soul or belligerent for no reason soul.

ladyscribbler

She was once utterly convinced that someone had entered the house. I returned home to find her outside in her dressing gown (in February), with the police on the way. I'd already established that the front door was locked - she escaped via the rear door. 'Auditory hallucination', I thought...this happened after a non-drinking night. Still, only one of us looked a bit stupid when three vans (6 police) arrived!

My ex once panicked and called the police because he couldn't find our son. I returned home from the grocery store with our son and found 2 police cruisers in front of the house. I had told him less than an hour before that we were going to the grocery store, he blacked out and completely forgot the conversation.
This is what you're signing up for. Don't think for a minute that your relationship or your alcoholic will be different.

worriedmind

Yes! Yes! YES!

carmen220

Snood, do you know what the grey in the whites of the eyes mean? I know about yellow but not grey.

allysen

I don't know what the 'most common' symptoms are, but my XAH has some definite ones when he is drinking: blotchy red skin on his face, eczema, psoriasis, bloating of face, bloodshot eyes, diarrhea, nail fungus, easily bruises, bad breath, large stomach/tiny waist, and a horrendous body stench. On top of this are the ways he neglects his own hygiene when on a binge too. And to think I once found this guy attractive! My XAH frequently goes to the doctor for all of the above issues, however he only mentions one symptom at a time so the doctor is likely in the dark about the root cause.

NWGRITS

Everyone forgot teetering while standing still, bouncing off walls when walking, and falling down the stairs. Let's see... frequentlu wetting the bed. Usually some type of blood pressure and cholesterol issues. Horrid breath and body odor.

honeypig

Carmen, if you've been reading on these pages, you've learned that an alcoholic is not defined by what he drinks, but by how he drinks. Consuming "only beer and wine" does not mean a person is not an alcoholic. Beer and wine still contain alcohol.

You wish he would see a doctor, as you're concerned about his health. I understand your concern, but in all honesty, what good will that do? First of all, he will likely lie to the doctor about how much he drinks. I know mine certainly did. Secondly, if the doctor says "yes, you have physical damage from excessive alcohol consumption", your AH will nod, smile, perhaps agree half-heartedly to "try to cut down" and resume his usual habits the second he is out of the office. This is what alcoholics who are not motivated to get sober do. It's unlikely yours will be an exception.

Are you hoping that somehow this will be "proof" of his alcoholism, and if a doctor confirms it, he will see the light and quit drinking? Again, this is unlikely to happen. You cannot "reason" the addiction away for him, as much as you wish you could.

Have you had a chance to read the stickies at the top of the page? Here's a link to a particular section that might be useful: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

This thread within that section may be a good place to start, if you haven't seen it already: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

What I'm trying to say, as gently as possible, is to apply some of that concern and energy to yourself and your life, rather than wearing yourself out worrying about HIM. You cannot control his actions or cure his addiction--you CAN take care of yourself. Have you checked out Alanon? I'd strongly recommend it.

Wishing you strength and clarity.

CodeJob

Honeypig's post is very wise Carmen.

My RAH is almost 11 months sober and STILL will not go to his MD to address health issues. He may never shake pulling the denial card first out of his arsenal as his first method in dealing with a situation. Now being aware of this is just the first step for me in detaching. I am the fixer, so in the past I would swoop in and handle it. This would then prove how smart and needed I was in our relationship. So my recovery (even though not 100% perfect) has changed our dynamic. I don't fix. I don't get very guilt tripped any longer. I mouth off truths that he wants to hide. I am pretty much a pain in the a-- to him. He clearly wants to throttle me and is a bit befuddled. I tell him straight up we need counseling because our marital communication skills are SICKening, but he refuses. Denial I sing. Rejection I holler like a basketball ref. He wants to be seen as the victim and refuses to see his role in this imploded relationship. So I might have inadvertently forced him into recovery almost a year ago, and he is sober, but he stalled on the steps so we don't have a full transformation. And you know what, it doesn't always happen. This might be as good as my RAH gets. I have to decide if I can live with Mr. Denial in all things. He may always have some 'alcoholic' personality traits.

LightInside

Sometimes they leave and then there's REALLY nothing you can do (except stalk them, stay sick, or heal yourself). I would rather no one goes through that experience ever. I never thought mine would leave me, but he did. I think all the time about how I wish I'd been further in my recovery when he left so that I could have avoided that kind of pain. When you don't know how to focus on yourself and your focus has left you, you feel deee-pleted and more terrified than you ever felt about them not getting better or of ending the relationship yourself (Well, I did anyway). Oh well, I'm getting on as best as I can.

Not trying to scare you. It's just, I wish I'd known. And yet, people did warn me - not many, but those who knew better. I guess I thought I was special, that WE were special. I am. We were. However, alcoholism is a PROGRESSIVE (I wish everyone would switch to calling it degenerative) disease. It just gets worse, no matter who you are.

I'm sorry I went OT.

You know, somewhere I heard someone say that you can often tell there's an alcoholic in the family by how crazy the family members are. Sometimes they are "worse" in their symptoms. Me? Depressed, messy house/hoarding, can't get anywhere on time, exhausted, nosebleeds (usually when I cry), sugar addiction, rapid weight loss, female problems, post partum anger. Him: Full of energy, exercises, gets everywhere on time, fixes actual meals (no prepared frozen stuff, but he does eat a lot of fast food), alcohol dragon breath (you know like acetone & rotting produce), bad b.o., angry outbursts, blackouts (and subsequent arrest!), falling asleep while speaking gibberish, jaundice (his sister noticed it), short term memory loss, and since he left me: insomnia and chronic colds (wonder what that's about).
Oh, and poor decision making: He left me and was also leaving his son for at least half the time when he made that decision.

Sorry. I had trouble separating physical from behavioral & emotional.

Snood

Hi carmen220,

I've been unable to find anything about a grey/blue tinge being to do with alcohol consumption as such. It seems the main medical reasons for an overall colour shift are about ageing. Sometimes, that layer becomes thinner, causing the underlying structures to show through, altering the colouration.

However, I notice it in my alcoholic during and soon after drinking nights and the more she uses, the more obvious the greyness.

All I can suggest is that there seems to be a link between excessive alcohol consumption and this particular sign.

LightInside

Before I clarify something, I'll throw my tendency for self-harm into my list of symptoms. I just want to clarify that my X did not cause my problems, he could not control them, he can't cure them, but he did contribute to them. The mirror's reflection of his drinking. We were both already sick when we got together.

What would have happened if I'd just stayed single until I had more of my issues worked out and loved myself completely? Let's find out right now.

Carmen, I know I might be preachy because I'm not really answering the question you asked. You've inspired me to write a new thread about this though, the possibility of being left.