Godismyrock

My RAH is in early recovery (a few weeks sober) from many year alcohol abuse. About once every week, he has a nightmare where someone or he is being hurt, and he can't move to help. He feels paralyzed. He struggles and struggles in the dream, until eventually he is able to move in the dream, AND in real life. I have been jolted awake now by kicks, flailing arms, an arm thrown over my upper body and punches to my pillow. This morning's arm swipe was inches from my face. He is totally asleep during these episodes. When he does move, it wakes him up and is very upset to learn that he scared me.

Has anyone else experienced this? What helped? What didn't?

Raider

I had night tremors when drinking heavily. It's like a nightmare combined with sleepwalking. Except you don't walk, you fight. I knocked over furniture, threw things, tore the bed up completely, knocked over everything on the night tables, fell out of bed, numerous black eyes from hitting furniture on the way down.

blake1989

I'm replying just so you know you're not alone in experiencing this. I don't know how to help but I think talk therapy is important. I think that kind of sleep violence is the subconscious having fits, in a similar way to how Robin Williams says blackouts are like 'your conscience going into a witness protection program.' I know that it is a delicate time for your significant other right now.

My ex would have fits like this while sleeping. She never actually hit me (while asleep that is...), but came close while totally asleep. She had a lot of trauma and bad dreams.

Raider

I stopped having them with some sober time.

Godismyrock

That's good to hear. Sounds like nighttime was difficult for you Raider. Anything you did to help?

Taking5

He needs to go to the Dr. and be totally honest about his drinking history and how in withdrawal it is manifesting in his sleep/dreams. They have meds for this.

AnvilheadII

for your own safety you might want to sleep elsewhere for a while.

Raider

No, just sober time and they disappeared. But it was quite bad in the end, my sister almost called 911 because she didn't understand. My husband had to stop sleeping with me. It was scary to see all the furniture knocked over.

Stung

I'm separated from my husband so I can't speak from first hand experience, but the first few weeks of sobriety he was telling me that he kept having really vivid nightmares. Maybe ask him to sleep in a guest room or on a couch until his dreams aren't so action packed? Many, many years ago I punched my husband in the chin while we were asleep and I remember him telling me that it hurt really bad. I would not want to be on the receiving end of a nightmare punch or kick.