mathmajor

This is the first time I've ever posted mid-week. Lately I've gone through this vicious cycle of...

Be sober all week
Get extremely drunk on Fri or Sat - usually do something incredibly risky or stupid
Be a depressed, lazy, reclusive bum on the next day
Be sober all week again, tell myself not to drink this weekend
Get into some social situation where the temptation is too much
etc...

I'm trying to remind myself throughout the week that I can stay sober all weekend. Regardless of what my pals do. I'm listing things I want to get done and remembering how crappy I feel and how much money I spend...

Coming on here and cheering on others helps too

Aarryckha

You CAN do it! Do you have plan to get yourself through the weekend?

mathmajor

I think the most important thing for me is to find the courage to become a non-drinker. Last weekend I had one drink at a friend's house (his mom passed around some weak sugary drink she made) and it set me off. His brother and a friend were going to the bar. I went along too, paid for drinks for all three of us, just because it'd mean a sober ride and someone else to get toasted along with me.

Just examining that over and over in my head... it's so sad.

How do I go from the biggest lush to "water please"... I have to though. I've done so many stupid things.

reflection

Are you worried about what people will think? Most people don't realize the "big lush" - they're generally thinking about themselves, sounds like a label you made up for yourself. If your friends do give you grief for not drinking, then you might need to ask yourself if they're really true friends. In my experience, friends support your decision - no matter what.

As for finding the courage, maybe ask yourself how you want to live your life and what role alcohol plays in that. Is it helping you feel good about yourself and the things you do? Does it support you and help you accomplish stuff?

Keep posting here - tomorrow, the next day...it's a good crowd. You can do this!

Jade1224

I know what you mean about social drinking.
I thought I was missing out on things but it turns out im not.

I have been out at bars and not had a drink. It feels good to say no. Most people respect you for it. And if they don't they aren't the right people to be hanging out with.

Just think about it. .. the more you say no the stronger you become.

Jade1224

If you're really worried about it drink coke or soda water with lime. As the night goes on no one will remember you're sober.

I drink soda water with lime so people dont constantly ask to buy me a drink.

mathmajor

Thanks Honestly most of my friends wouldn't give me trouble. Or I can simply avoid outings where I know drinking is involved. Like Mardi Gras. I went to get smashed. Not for the beads or the parade. My prime concerns were how do I get more booze. I am having trouble imagining going to something like that and not drinking. It would drive me crazy. This is why I think I have a problem.

The same thing happened at the Superbowl. And my friend's housewarming party. Like 10-12 times since the year began. It's getting out of hand.

mathmajor

Drinking one or two drinks is a foreign concept to me... I split a bottle of wine on V-day and wished I had bought a bigger bottle since we only got 3 glasses each and I was just buzzed.

seeks

I can relate. Most of the activities my friend group attends involves drinking. Once I started saying no to drink offers they eventually stopped offering. I still get cravings so if I'm feeling weak I won't put myself in an environment where drinking is the main focus.

It does get easier. I was the big lush of the group for a long time just took some time to convince myself I don't want to be that guy.

awuh1

Drinking one or two drinks is a foreign concept to me.

There is a word for people who drink like you do. They also have meetings for them. In order for things to change you will need to DO something very differently!

What have you done differently so far?

EndGameNYC

It seems to me, mathmajor, that you're drawn to events and places where the temptation is just enough for you to get drunk rather than too much for you to stay sober. You know you're going to drink if you go, but you still go. The missing piece here is not filling your time with sober activities, but to arrive at a place in your life where you no longer want to drink, and where you no longer can tolerate the consequences that come with the way you drink. I haven't met anyone who's accomplished this by going to Mardi Gras with a determination to get plastered.

When I returned to AA following my three-year, death-defying relapse, I heard a guy say something like, "How do you get better? Don't drink, go to meetings, and change your whole phucking life around."

If we're unable to set our priorities such that staying sober is of utmost importance, then we're not truly giving ourselves a chance.

As the guy said, I needed to change around many things in my life, including my thinking, in order to achieve sobriety. I haven't regretted a single bit of it.

Looking4Help123

Your comment just NAILS IT in terms of where I got to before this week of sobriety. I know I am early days but I am getting stronger by the day in realising that what you have described is where I got to last week and I have not looked back

Dee74

I had to stay away form my usual haunts and the usual crew...it was just too instinctive for me to reach for a beer.

Doesn't mean you have to be a hermit and put yourself in lockdown Fri night to Mon morning ...but do give some thought to other non alcohol related things you can do this weekend - sports hobbies, walks, coffee dates, whatever....

Avoid the weekend temptation all together for once?

D

liss74

Gotta just love amnesia I suffer from it , insanity drives me nuts!!!

mathmajor

You're absolutely right. I tell myself "xyz might not involve drinking" but sure enough, I'm out at some after-party within stumbling distance to home and I can't tell myself no. And not just a rum 'n coke to nurse... I wake up looking and feeling like crap, ordering junk food if I can even eat at all.

I ended up hyperextending my knee the other weekend while drunk and I limp a little every day. A daily reminder of what I -could- have lost in all these risky decisions I've made...

I haven't hit rock bottom and I don't care to.

Jeff2214

Mathmajor, why don't you just stay in one weekend by yourself away from the temptation and see how you feel about being away from it. Friends never forced me to drink but my perception of what my friends would think of me made it hard to not drink. I know that's a silly way to be but that's just the way I felt.