dealing with feelings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
dealing with feelings
I've found that I don't know how to deal with negative feelings without wanting to drink. Not even wanting to....just going for it, like a robot. How do you deal now that you don't drink? Right now, it feels like any upset will make me relapse. And I can't have that......I want to be sober......but, regular life seems too hard to handle. Pathetic, yeah, but honestly.....what do you do with all those negative feelings???
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think supports very important Carly.
SR helped me a lot there.
I also think you need to steel yourself for some uncomfortable times, especially in the beginning - there's no way around that, but support does help, and the more emotions and situations you deal with sober the easier it gets.
I found I was a lot stronger and more capable that I gave myself credit for - I'm sure you will too Carly
I think you'll look back and find the fear of such things is greater than the situations themselves
Have courage and a little faith - you'll be ok
D
SR helped me a lot there.
I also think you need to steel yourself for some uncomfortable times, especially in the beginning - there's no way around that, but support does help, and the more emotions and situations you deal with sober the easier it gets.
I found I was a lot stronger and more capable that I gave myself credit for - I'm sure you will too Carly
I think you'll look back and find the fear of such things is greater than the situations themselves
Have courage and a little faith - you'll be ok
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
Im afraid this will never stop. I won't be able to deal. Like a normal person. I have MS....does that make a difference? We are prone to depression and substance abuse.....I just want to be normal...
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Hi Carly, sorry about your ms.
With me my emotions were and still are some days, up and down. But I know I thought the booze eased it, it did when I was blotto, I was out of it. But, the problems were still there when I became sober. I'm working through them now I am permanently sober, one day at a time, it does get easier as Dee said.
It may be different with your ms, have you spoken to the doctor about it, he may be able to help some way.
With me my emotions were and still are some days, up and down. But I know I thought the booze eased it, it did when I was blotto, I was out of it. But, the problems were still there when I became sober. I'm working through them now I am permanently sober, one day at a time, it does get easier as Dee said.
It may be different with your ms, have you spoken to the doctor about it, he may be able to help some way.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
I never realized how powerful you're mind can be, in a bad way. I've been through so much physically, almost died in a car accident, serious injuries....but I got over it. But, this must be the hardest thing I've ever gone through.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Carly, it's probably not just your mind that seeks comfort in drinking; your body is currently wired to drink and it will take some time to re-wire itself. So expect some rough feelings and cravings for a while. If you expect them, and make plan to deal with them, you'll be less likely to relapse.
I used conscious deep breathing, just 5 breaths concentrating on my body, to deal with cravings. It is very calming, and neutralises the stress. If you can de-stress the cravings tend to disappear.
Another strategy was to replace my drinking ritual of sitting in my comfortable chair, turning on the telly etc, with the same ritual but with tea instead of wine. After a while you begin to associate your harmless ritual with relaxation.
Mainly, remember it's early days, you're going to have some rough times, but drinking isn't an option. I promise you that the longer you can stay sober, the easier it gets, and your confidence grows. There are great rewards waiting for you.
I used conscious deep breathing, just 5 breaths concentrating on my body, to deal with cravings. It is very calming, and neutralises the stress. If you can de-stress the cravings tend to disappear.
Another strategy was to replace my drinking ritual of sitting in my comfortable chair, turning on the telly etc, with the same ritual but with tea instead of wine. After a while you begin to associate your harmless ritual with relaxation.
Mainly, remember it's early days, you're going to have some rough times, but drinking isn't an option. I promise you that the longer you can stay sober, the easier it gets, and your confidence grows. There are great rewards waiting for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
Honestly, Im too ashamed to go back to my neurologist. She knew about my drinking, and joked about how they barely saw me at the office....but, I drank again and missed my last appointment.....I cant go back
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Carly, I can guarantee you're not the first person with MS to turn to drinking to try and cope.
It';s really important you see your neurologist and your other Drs regularly.
I understand you're embarrassed but I think some things are really more important than embarrassment.
If it's really impossible for you to go back? at least please look for new Drs who can help.
D
It';s really important you see your neurologist and your other Drs regularly.
I understand you're embarrassed but I think some things are really more important than embarrassment.
If it's really impossible for you to go back? at least please look for new Drs who can help.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I cant judge if you're being silly or not
Like I said tho, you're not the first person with MS to try and deal with that through alcohol.
I'd be willing to bet your current doctors would understand
D
Like I said tho, you're not the first person with MS to try and deal with that through alcohol.
I'd be willing to bet your current doctors would understand
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm not sure thats a helpful way to look at it.
You have an alcohol problem, but you're trying to deal with it...that's a good thing, not as shameful thing.
You might feel shame sure, but sometimes I think we project those feelings on to what we might think others could say.
Your Dr may not be pleased, sure, but I reckon any reasonable Dr would understand the pressures that drive people to make bad decisions, Carly.
D
You have an alcohol problem, but you're trying to deal with it...that's a good thing, not as shameful thing.
You might feel shame sure, but sometimes I think we project those feelings on to what we might think others could say.
Your Dr may not be pleased, sure, but I reckon any reasonable Dr would understand the pressures that drive people to make bad decisions, Carly.
D
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