SillyString

I had a bit of a breakthrough today, on day 55, on the Friday of my 8th sober weekend. I woke up today, and was thinking of the things I had to do tomorrow. As I was ticking them off in my head, I realized for the first time in possibly 23 years, I didn't even for one second think of tomorrow as "Saturday - one of the days I get to drink," or "Saturday, one of the days I would've been drinking in the past, but am not now drinking." Saturday was just, "tomorrow."

It hit me that for a moment, my brain didn't define my day/weekend in terms of drinking status. It was just a day. And I felt so free in that moment. It was eye opening because I really didn't realize HOW MUCH space in my head that drinking/not drinking took up. I couldn't see that until the thought was totally gone for a minute.

And, of course, ironically, there I was thinking about it again! But not in terms of either wanting to drink or formally noting that I wasn't drinking...I hope this is making sense, because I really want to express how good this felt. As not drinking becomes my new normal state, I look forward to experiencing this more and more.

It's amazing how early sobriety has been a time where my thoughts and feelings have shifted considerably, and new insights are coming to me often. Loving it.

jakec

Very well explained. I know the feeling, feels great huh?

Thanks for sharing

instant

Thank you for reminding me how bound up in the whole "issue" I used to be. I found that by about 80-90 days my thinking had settled down and there was more freedom in my mind.