Coming out of lurk mode
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Riverwood
Posts: 124
Coming out of lurk mode
Hi guys!
I've been reading and following along for a couple of months, and decided it was time to join. This seems like a great site.
My ABF (of 23 years) died almost 2 years ago. Quite a tale to tell.
Currently, I'm continuing to work on my own codie issues and who I want to be, so that I don't spend these next years on another rollercoaster with another A.
I've been reading and following along for a couple of months, and decided it was time to join. This seems like a great site.
My ABF (of 23 years) died almost 2 years ago. Quite a tale to tell.
Currently, I'm continuing to work on my own codie issues and who I want to be, so that I don't spend these next years on another rollercoaster with another A.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello TalenCrowhaven! Welcome to SR!!
I'm really so sorry to hear about your loss. SR is a wonderful and supportive place.
You are welcome to share here as little or as much as you feel comfortable.
Take care,
S
I'm really so sorry to hear about your loss. SR is a wonderful and supportive place.
You are welcome to share here as little or as much as you feel comfortable.
Take care,
S
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Hi Talen--I agree with xm;
You must be a strong and loyal person to stick with someone
for that long who is alcoholic.
As a former drinker, and daughter of a drinker myself,
I know how lonely and sad that road is.
My mom drank and smoked her way to an early grave. It changes you.
Welcome to SR
You must be a strong and loyal person to stick with someone
for that long who is alcoholic.
As a former drinker, and daughter of a drinker myself,
I know how lonely and sad that road is.
My mom drank and smoked her way to an early grave. It changes you.
Welcome to SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Riverwood
Posts: 124
Thanks for the warm welcome!
My ABF was physically, a very gentle person. It was his bitterness as his victimhood took hold in later years, which became too draining on those of us close to him. He was a blindingly talented artist, singer and musician. A bit of a local legend. This brought with it a built in party atmosphere and a lot of enablers.
I guess the story was pretty typical of many talented A's, who drank and partied their "potential" away and then woke up one day to find life had passed them by. It was at this point he became unbearable to be around. I am also an artist and a bit of a musician, but mainly an artist. About halfway through our relationship I started reading everything I could regarding alcoholism, addiction, and codependency in hopes I could "save" him.
About 5 years ago I entered recovery from being raised by narcissitic parents.
In the end I found I could not help my ABF, but I could work to help and heal myself. I also found I could not fix or heal my relationship with my parents, but I could heal myself and survive it.
It sure seems ACONs (Adult Children Of Narcissists) and ACOAs (Adult Children Of Alcoholics) have a lot in common and suffer a lot of the same issues later in life!
Thanks for reading. You guys are a great group and I wish I would've found you a long time ago!
My ABF was physically, a very gentle person. It was his bitterness as his victimhood took hold in later years, which became too draining on those of us close to him. He was a blindingly talented artist, singer and musician. A bit of a local legend. This brought with it a built in party atmosphere and a lot of enablers.
I guess the story was pretty typical of many talented A's, who drank and partied their "potential" away and then woke up one day to find life had passed them by. It was at this point he became unbearable to be around. I am also an artist and a bit of a musician, but mainly an artist. About halfway through our relationship I started reading everything I could regarding alcoholism, addiction, and codependency in hopes I could "save" him.
About 5 years ago I entered recovery from being raised by narcissitic parents.
In the end I found I could not help my ABF, but I could work to help and heal myself. I also found I could not fix or heal my relationship with my parents, but I could heal myself and survive it.
It sure seems ACONs (Adult Children Of Narcissists) and ACOAs (Adult Children Of Alcoholics) have a lot in common and suffer a lot of the same issues later in life!
Thanks for reading. You guys are a great group and I wish I would've found you a long time ago!
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