Betterlife1

Ok, I have a strategy of sorts I am playing with my addictive voice (as I call him "the little f'er"). I was hoping for some feedback. I play this game where I tell "him" that I can start drinking again in 6 months. That helps me quite a bit to get rid of him for the present. Seems to be working well for me since I very few strong "I want/need to drink now" moments, and many more "are you really never gonna drink again?" moments. My strategy with this approach is by the time 6 months comes along, I will be much stronger and mature in my sobriety to really start accepting that it's forever. I think it will be easier for me to deal with the AV now.

I guess the biggest problem with this method is delaying my full mental commitment to permanent sobriety.

Any feedback is appreciated! As always, thanks for always being there! The support that this group of people provides is priceless!!!

SoberLeigh

Whatever gets you there! I did the exact same thing and, when my initial time period (6 weeks, I think) was up, I made a bargain with myself to do another 7 weeks and so on. . . That pesky little demon still has not gone away but I think that he is getting a little discouraged.

callmemilly

Hi betterlife I'm doing this too. I think it has advantages and disadvantages. It does really help, to get through the day to day- except my timeline is like a month lol. It helps because the thought of not drinking forever is overwhelming.

But in the long run, for me anyway, I wonder a bit about it backfiring, but I guess that renegotiation with that part has to happen. It might be harder for me because I am unsure about what my long term goal is.

But overall, breaking it down into manageable days, and putting it off, is a good strategy I think.

Take care

Betterlife1

Thanks Callmemilly, I guess the backfiring is what I'm afraid of too! But although I'm not an AA guy, it does kinda support that "one day at a time" approach. Like Soberleigh said, I guess whatever works to get you through the day is probably a good thing! Thanks again!

least

Whatever works for you!

malcolmsloan

Hey, that's funny, I've referred to my AV at "that little f!@#er" too! As far as your approach, whatever works for you. If it keeps you sober today, I guess it's working. I've had a few sober stints throughout my drinking career, one lasting over a year. I did these with the same approach you describe. Then the last drinking period was 7 years of daily drinking, and I had a terrible time stopping. I had to just shut it all down, and that's working for me.

Nonsensical

I don't have a problem with it. My AV lies to me all the time. If I told it "in six months" and then six months later I said, "sorry, I meant a year" well - the little f'er has it coming.

Johnston

I think about what happened the last time I picked up, and kindly tell my AV thanks but no thanks.

KateL

I agree with Johnson but do whatever it takes for you xxxx

Dee74

hi Betterlife

I did kinda the same thing with committing to not drinking 'just for today'...but my plan had no timeframe. I was determined to do that every day for the rest of my life, if that's what I needed to do.

Happily at about 3 months, forever didn't seem like a big deal anymore and I committed forever.

This just me, but I think if I'd set an end date I would have been subconsciously waiting for that date, maybe even setting things up for a drink in anticipation of that date.

This alcoholism thing is relentless and very patient. Just make sure you're really running the show here and not the AV.

The AV shouldn't get a say. Dialogue and compromise is not necessary - y'know?

Best wishes

D

Betterlife1

Great advice Dee and all!!! As always, thanks for the support!!!

InTheEnd

I think too, whatever works for you. But from what I've gotten out of the AVRT stuff, could that be "it" talking, not you and it's satisfied so its just retreating till that time comes? I have a hard time myself believing I will never drinking again, but I don't know if that's so much just about drinking, or just my nature. I have a hard time thinking anything lasts forever, but working on it.

Do what it takes for now! I also believe on the couple of hard days I've had so far, the "one day at a time" is my best approach too for that moment.

GerandTwine

Hi InTheEnd,



The above matrix from Rational Recovery will help explain what I'm doing below.

I'll rewrite a sentence from your first post on this thread.

Using AVRT, here's the rewrite with pronoun changes:

It plays this game where IT tells me that you can start drinking again in 6 months. That helps IT quite a bit knowing how I'm not separating myself from ITs absolute terror over my possibly deciding to NEVER DRINK AGAIN.

GT

Betterlife1

Got it Ger. Thanks for this post and matrix! So basically any thought that is pro-drinking (even 6 months down the road) is the AV or "It". Any thoughts supporting not drinking are me "I". I now understand that this game is being played by IT and not I. I also understand that it's important to distinguish between the two. This helps a lot!! Thanks again and much appreciated!