on day two, again and again
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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on day two, again and again
New to the forum , so where to start. Developing alcoholism since about freshman year. Started buying extra bottles of vodka and stashing it in the car to drink at home. That was about a monthly thing and smoking weed was a few times a day. Once I started college at 22, I began buying pints once or twice a week and hiding them from parents and friends. At 26, ended a six year relationship under bad terms, graduated college, and moved back home. I am single in a one bedroom apartment and have been drinking a pint at the least everyday for the last two years. During the last year I would down a pint within around 2 hours and sometimes drive back to the liquor store for a six pack. I lost my job in October and the drinking is now dominating my days. It's day two tonight and I'm feeling shaky and agitated. Determination hasn't been enough yet although I feel like I'm at a breaking point. I've only managed to get to this 2nd day three times in the last 2 years.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 166
I probably had close to 100 day twos when I was drinking. I started drinking hard at 18 during my freshman year in college, and drank that way for 11 years before I finally got some help.
With me, I'd "quit," then a few days later I'd tell myself it wasn't that bad so I could start drinking again. Eventually I realized that my bottom was infinite. Something terrible would happen that everyone around me would see as a bottom, but I'd lower my standards for what was and wasn't acceptable to avoid bottoming out.
I tried everything to control my drinking. I switched from one drink to another, gave myself a two-drink limit, drank only on weekends, took "breaks" for a week or two at a time, drank only at bars, drank only at home, etc. etc. I moved, changed jobs, and switched relationships. You name it, I tried it. And you know what? I found the only way I can control my drinking is to never under any circumstances take a drink at all.
On many occasions I sought help through family, friends, significant others and therapists, convinced I would never drink again, begging for help, saying I would do anything to not feel the pain I was in anymore. Yet somehow, every time, I'd get drunk.
In my experience, the only thing that worked for me was going to AA. I showed up at a meeting, blubbered to a bunch of strangers, shut up, listened, and did what they told me to do. That was 339 days ago, on... DAY 2 of my now 340-day sobriety.
I can promise you that if you're willing to do whatever it takes, you WILL stay sober and your WILL feel a billion and a half times better than you do right now.
With me, I'd "quit," then a few days later I'd tell myself it wasn't that bad so I could start drinking again. Eventually I realized that my bottom was infinite. Something terrible would happen that everyone around me would see as a bottom, but I'd lower my standards for what was and wasn't acceptable to avoid bottoming out.
I tried everything to control my drinking. I switched from one drink to another, gave myself a two-drink limit, drank only on weekends, took "breaks" for a week or two at a time, drank only at bars, drank only at home, etc. etc. I moved, changed jobs, and switched relationships. You name it, I tried it. And you know what? I found the only way I can control my drinking is to never under any circumstances take a drink at all.
On many occasions I sought help through family, friends, significant others and therapists, convinced I would never drink again, begging for help, saying I would do anything to not feel the pain I was in anymore. Yet somehow, every time, I'd get drunk.
In my experience, the only thing that worked for me was going to AA. I showed up at a meeting, blubbered to a bunch of strangers, shut up, listened, and did what they told me to do. That was 339 days ago, on... DAY 2 of my now 340-day sobriety.
I can promise you that if you're willing to do whatever it takes, you WILL stay sober and your WILL feel a billion and a half times better than you do right now.
! Really, really helpful to a 100-day-2 gal like me. Headed to my first AA meeting tomorrow.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by ksass 
I'm in almost the exact situation as you--keep reading these posts--its incredible how many people actually care and the positivity you can find from one single thread. Let's do this thang!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 64
I am new too and never got past day 2...heck I never really had any goals to get past day 1 haha. Not a laughing matter, but its the truth, until I felt like I may be experiencing health problems (I'm 26, +/- 3 years into heavy drinking, again not remembering taking more than a day off until about 3 or so weeks ago, when I'd take two off, feel a bit better, then get back at it), and had to look at the situation from more than one angle. I'm now finishing up day 7 of being sober.
Keep fighting. It still sucks at day 7, but you can push through it. I'm experiencing terrible anxiety and irritability tonight, but hey, I'm alive. I'll make it thru to see day 8.
Keep fighting. It still sucks at day 7, but you can push through it. I'm experiencing terrible anxiety and irritability tonight, but hey, I'm alive. I'll make it thru to see day 8.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by FlygirlJ
Keep fighting. It still sucks at day 7, but you can push through it. I'm experiencing terrible anxiety and irritability tonight, but hey, I'm alive. I'll make it thru to see day 8.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: perth western australia
Posts: 397
Welcome do u have aa meetings in your area aa is great for meeting non drinking friends support and guidance it would really help kick along sobriety this site is great also for support welcome once again
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome... and I suggest you go back up and re-read what shirly said... BINGO!!!
Very similar story for me in many ways.
I have been or done most of what you posted as well....
It doesn't have to continue. Getting past that barrier takes a change, and a big change. That change can really be made a lot easier with help. AA gave me a big boost in that process. You might wanna check it out.
Very similar story for me in many ways.
I have been or done most of what you posted as well....
It doesn't have to continue. Getting past that barrier takes a change, and a big change. That change can really be made a lot easier with help. AA gave me a big boost in that process. You might wanna check it out.
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