SleepyDots

Hello all, I am new here, just registered today because I have to quit drinking, once and for all, and I now realize I need help in order to do it. Wine is what I like to drink and one drink frequently turns into a bottle or 2. I hate it, I hate feeling so sick, tired, guilty, and embarrassed the day after drinking heavily (like I did last night). I don't drink everyday but rarely do more than 3-4 days go by without drinking, then there'll be a couple days with maybe a glass or two of wine, then it's more and more until it gets to the point I swear it all off yet again.

I tried to quit Jan 1 and made it up until Day 10 when I allowed myself a couple drinks at a social function, and ever since then it's been the same old routine. What has to change this time is no drinking at all, ever again. Even if I had a single drink, it would open the door for me to do it again, and again, and it would only be a matter of time before I was knocking back glasses of wine like they were water. I have a loving husband and three young children and I want to grow old with him and be around for them for a long, long time.

I am not ready to talk about this with anyone in real life just yet, even my own husband (who would be completely supportive of me, I know), I just feel so embarrassed about it all. I'm not ready to have a conversation about it with anyone, for now I just want to focus on making it through the days without drinking and I think this site will help me. I certainly hope so. Thanks for reading!

LonelyShadow

Well done on making the right decision SleepyDots, there's a tonne of support here should you need it

Welcome!

least

Welcome to the SR family. I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.

Ghostlight1

Hello, and welcome.

I could never just have one drink either. It was all or nothing. A lot of us seem to be that way, so you're not alone.
You've found a great place for support and I hope to hear more from you.

doggonecarl

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

It's not mandatory that you tell anyone you are quitting drinking. But think about this. Are you not telling anyone so you don't have to be accountable? Because if no one knows you quit, then it can be easy to return to drinking without appearing to fail.

I'm not saying that's why you are keeping this to yourself, but it bears thinking about. There were a lot of times in my failures to get sober that it was me who left the back door open to my addiction.

Good luck.

JustMeg

Welcome SleepyDots (like the username by the way)...there's lots of support, information and fun stuff here. I'm glad you decided to join us

LooseGrip

You are in the right place. Lots of support here. You don't have to tell anyone about your drinking problem but have you thought about going to AA for support? You will find alot of support here, but it sounds like you really would do well to at least attend a few meetings and see if you think it is for you. Even if you don't believe you can benefit from it, you will at least have been pro-active. You could also contact your medical doctor for more resources as well as medication if needed.

Raider

Good luck to you! We know it's hard.

WillB

Welcome SleepyDots and take solace in the knowledge that you are not alone. I say this because my pattern is almost identical to yours except my drink of choice is beer and I did get to the point of a 12 pack per day for way too long.

I got serious about stopping (slowing down really) in December have had some success but just like you, fall right back into the routine. For me, today is Day 1 (again) and I say that with some disappointment that I'm at the start again but I also have a sense of relief because I will not be abusing myself with alcohol again tonight...and hopefully tomorrow...and....

firstymer

Welcome to SR, SleepyDots. I am glad you are here with us. I hope you will post often and let us know how you are doing.

SleepyDots

Good question, and it's something I will really have to think about. Right now I feel like the main reason I don't want to tell anyone, is that it is just so embarrassing and in my mind I picture it would be like this big neon sign flashing "Alcoholic!" over my head. I am a very private person, and prone to social anxiety at times (probably a big reason I started drinking in the first place way back in the day), so the thought of people knowing something like this about me, would make me feel so incredibly self conscious and uncomfortable. It just feels too overwhelming right now. But I do want to be held accountable, at least I feel like I do, which I guess is what I am sort of hoping for with joining this forum. I know it's not the same, but I'm hoping it will be enough.

SleepyDots

I know that sense of disappointment, WillB, but you don't dwell on it and I won't either. Today is a new day and I know we can do this!!

SleepyDots

Thank you all so much to for your words of welcome! I am really grateful to have found this place today.

gleefan

Welcome SleepyDots

My drinking pattern was similar to yours. I could never predict where the first glass of wine would take me - but nine times out of ten it took me to the bottom of one or two bottles. Passing out, blacking out, waking up trying to piece together the night before. I get it, and so do lots of people on this site. You will find lots of good support here. If you feel like drinking, come on line to post your thoughts and feelings.

waterscapes

I am just like you, SleepyDots! Wine was also my drink of choice. I could never just have one glass. I drank at least a bottle every night after work. On the weekends, more. It was just a vicious cycle. I am on day 90 today. If I can do it, you can too! Best of luck and welcome to SR! This place has helped me a lot!

Dee74

Welcome SleepyDots

you'll find a lot of support and good ideas here
D

Randummy

Welcome! Your pattern sounds very similar to mine. I gave up for a year a long time ago and I fell off the wagon because I thought, "Yeah, I'll just have that glass of wine with dinner". That one glass was fine and I had the glass and that was it for the night. But it opened the door to me saying yes and agreeing to more drinks until it escalated up until my current point.
Read a lot, post a lot!

KateL

Welcome and good luck Sleepy dots xxxxxxx

WillB

Thank you SleepyDots for the kind words, I will try not to dwell on it and I think you're right...we can do it!

Beanie25

Hi and welcome. This forum is a great support. Good luck.