DarkPenguin

Hello! First time poster here, with a question I'm having a hard time finding answers to. Any help/advice would be much appreciated!

I'm currently struggling with alcohol abuse issues, and took a break from drinking around the beginning of January until last night when I had a single drink that, thankfully, didn't lead to a binge.

During my sober period, I was basically OK in terms of cravings, but I found myself feeling emotionally flat. Not depressed so much as just dulled and not able to feel very excited about things.

After some introspection about alcohol and why I feel so dependent on it, I realized that one of the major reasons is the festive, euphoric feeling alcohol gives me, that nothing else in my regular life -- not including special occasions -- can offer.

I've been able to stay sober for weeks and months at a time, but I keep coming back to alcohol just to get that festive feeling back. I just feel more alive and "myself" when I'm drinking.

I feel like I should be able to access that mood without alcohol, since I see plenty of sober people (like comedians) being energetic and peppy and spirited, but I'm at a loss as to how they do it.

I have a number of hobbies and personal projects that I work on, which do keep me busy so that I'm not constantly thinking about drinking, and I socialize and can enjoy myself to some extent in the company of friends, but that flat feeling never goes away. It's frustrating because I know there must be ways around this. Thanks again for any wisdom.

Nonsensical

Google "anhedonia and addiction".

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

doggonecarl

That feeling is alcohol's Siren song. Eventually it will lead you to the rocky shores of misery and despair.

Life isn't always a festival. But alcohol makes for an easy out.

ReadyAtLast

For me the initial pleasure/euphoria did not last long and I became an annoying,drunken mess. Now sober, whilst I don't have that initial 'hit' I know it was false anyway-it wasn't really me -it was alcohol induced falseness and turned me into a stupid, annoying, embarrasing person. I have no drama, no ups and downs and a serenity I've never known before- much better than a brief bit of short lived pleasure leading to God only knows what

Maybe look at it the other way round-not what you're missing by not drinking but by how your life is better by being sober. There is a reason you've quit- look into that perhpas

Amajorityofone

I don't miss the "festive" feeling at all. I enjoy immensely the peace, quiet and tranquility that comes along with sobriety.

Some things to consider...

Not once in the eighteen months that I've been stone cold sober have I made a fool of myself. I have not allowed any one in my home that was drunk, smoked, or consumed drugs of any kind. Nor have I gotten behind the wheel and worried about being pulled over. Nor have I drunk dialed, texted, or said something stupid in the middle of night. Nor have any of the children that come into my home to play with my son ever seen or smelled something "funny" from me. I'm not hiding from anybody and no one's hiding from me. I won't even get into all the money I've saved, the books I've read, the places I've traveled or the present condition of my home, vehicles, personal relationships, and body.

These are just some of the benefits that come along with remaining clean and sober.

BradJustBrad

Intense exercise can get the endorphins flowing. And the energy stays with you all day. I feel much better after a hard 10 mile run than I ever did after a night of drinking.

Dee74

Hey Dark Penguin

I find a lot of joy and happiness in my life. I can still have a good time

I've celebrated weddings, birthdays, christmasses, parties and don;t feel I was missing out on any of the excitement in the room

It takes a little while to adjust to not drinking but it's worth it.

Welcome to SR
D

KateL

I am mostly very festive xxxxx

Aiko

Hi Dark Penguin,

We just got engraved in our brains that we need to be merry to have fun!!!
It is possible to have fun sober!!!
Is our head using it as an excuse to drink...
the little voice that says you can not have fun without it!!!
IS A LIE!!!

I personally find it hard too to go out and celebrate without it!
and dancing sober is not the same to me either...
Two days ago was my birthday...
how am I going to celebrate without been smashed????
I was so stressed I nearly took something to calm down!!!
I did a no alcohol party so would not be pulling my hair out!
And you know what I had fun and was sober!!!
I was amazed!!!

Maybe start with small outings, and if you feel you are in dangerous GET OUT!!!
You get used to it... Being sober and enjoying and be funny and laugh...

My advice if you are not in good spirit or got a personal conflict do not go out
or you might have a fall back... Too tempting you might lower your barrier.

It is possible but be ready!!!

InTheEnd

Just remembered on of my "festive" times at a wedding. Chipped half my tooth off and ended up in the emergency room at 1am getting stitches in my chin because I "tripped". Good times, good times.....

I do know what you're saying though. I get the same feeling, when I begin drinking....the first one feels good, then the 2nd and still feeling fine. But then something changes and it's off to the races! If I could stop at two, I probably wouldn't be here with you lovely folks. But I've proven time and again, I can't.

DarkPenguin

Thanks guys for the helpful responses!

Aiko, your response reminded me of an upcoming event that has me very nervous. In a couple of months I'm going to see one of my favorite bands play at a local brewpub. I really, really do not want to pass this up since they almost never come through here so it's a rare opportunity.

When I've gone to shows in the past I've pretty much always gotten wasted. I'm resolved to stay sober for this one, but the last time I was at a concert sober (weirdly, at this same venue), it ended up a really aggravating experience being sober in a room full of drunk people. When you're drunk you don't notice or care about a lot of obnoxious behavior that is VERY hard to ignore when sober. Do you just get used to it, or is there some way you deal with it mentally to lessen the annoyance? I'm kind of dreading not drinking at this thing because I don't want the experience to be spoiled.

Aiko

There is no answer to that!!!

I think the longer you are sober the easier it gets...
Maybe start with small events first!!!
It might be too soon for you to go to a concert... I do not know...
I still find it hard to see others drink in front of me... I got to turn my eyes away...

But if you are strong enough and really really want to go to see them... Go...
But knowing that you can NOT try a thing... You are just there to enjoy the music!

I laugh now at people drunk and I see all the stupidities they say and do!!!
and their red eyes how they walk...!!!
Have to think: Thank God I got Out!!!

Is dangerous if you have not been long off it!!!
Be careful!!!