chevyguy91

Close to six months sober now and I'm feeling pretty ******. Nothing seems at all interesting or exciting in life anymore. People say while we were in active addiction we isolated ourselves from others. I tend to disagree when it comes to this I have never isolated myself more and I'm sober. I go to aa meetings everyday see a counselor once a week and am trying to make a better situation for myself but nothing seems to be getting better. Has anyone gone through this? Does it get better because six months has felt like forever

GotGrace

I'm sorry you are so unhappy, Chevy. I wish I had some advice, but I hope you won't throw the baby out with the bath water. Maybe it would be good to start pursuing some interests you had before you began drinking or try out volunteering in someone capacity? Hang in there!

BrendonM

I was driven to drink by the inability to feel passionate about anything. It is really hard to find a solution, I know some people say you just haven't found the right hobby or friends.. etc - but in my case it was just my brain not registering things I like.

I don't know about you but as flat as I felt before, I felt way worse every time the few hours of drinking pleasure wore off.

FeelingGreat

Hi chevy, have you spoken to your doctor about this? I am not diagnosing, but it sounds like you could be a little depressed. What does your counsellor say?
I'm guessing you've lost that part of your social life that was based around drinking? Could you take up an interest, maybe outdoor activities, where people don't drink?

least

I have depression too and your post sounded depressed to me. I'd speak to your doctor and/or counselor about this.

IWillWin

After being drunk for years, I'm still looking for myself...sober. But it is way more productive than spending the morning afraid of my toothbrush and being in constant state of paranoia and shame.

You will find you. Just keep a clear mind so when you do show up in your life you will recognize YOU. That's what I'm trying to do - even at almost 1.5 years.

We can do this. And I bet we really like who we find

heath480

Welcome to SR.

Have you got a sponsor to work through the programme with?

It takes time to become an Alcoholic,when we stop drinking it takes time to feel better.

It would be a good idea to get checked out by a Doctor as others have said.I have been depressed in recovery and needed help to deal with it.

Wishing you well.

Notimetoloose

I am sorry you feel so flat and isolated.
It's tough expanding your circle of friends, it's not like friends just drop out of trees.

I work a lot of weekends and that can be isolating as well, what I found to be the best outlet for me was Meet up.com

Its all different groups doing all different things. There appears to be a group for everything. Perhaps try a couple of them.

I joined several groups including my local one and do a variety of different things from just having coffee to canyoning.

I love going to live theatre and I could never find anyone to go with me through the week because of work commitments... I joined the meet up live theatre group and have seen many wonderful plays I would not have otherwise seen and made some lovely friends.

Kaneda8888

Hey Chevy

Have you thought about spirituality; delving inside yourself and finding inspiration and peace ? Obviously, there are many different paths. Could be worth checking out ? Keep going with your sobriety, you're doing fantastic !

Dee74

Welcome to SR

I think stopping drinking is only the first part of recovery Chevy.
The second part is building a life we can be happy in, sober.

I'm pleased to see you have checked out some support, but have you made any other life changes besides not drinking?

lisatrying

Chevy have you ever had a bucket list? Could you consider making one, maybe say ten things. And then start making plans to achieve one of them. I think setting goals can really help.

Pick something that you would love love love to do. Maybe a tandem skydive, going to an interstate Chevy Rally? I don't know you so don't know what you might be passionate about but if you have a think about it over a few days I am sure you could come up with a few things. And then take half or all the money you are saving from not using and put that towards achieving the goal.

I did a tandem skydive about 9 years ago after a horrible relationship break up and I was feeling like my world was over. It reminded me very quickly that I was quite alive and there were things I could do again that would make me happy. Good luck

waterscapes

I've definitely felt that way Chevyguy. I've isolated myself somewhat since I stopped drinking, but when I think about it, I was isolating when I was drinking too. Right now I'm just happy to feel better physically and wake up each day with a clear mind instead of in a fog. I'm hoping that my social life will improve in time. I wish the same for you.

sugarbear1

what goes up must come down, then gets flat, real flat, then it evens out and then life begins.....

give yourself more time, I'm sure you drank for more than just 6 months, it's not really that long yet....give yourself another 6 months and start living and making life happen....

it really does get better!

bigsombrero

This is a good point. Where are you in life? I'm in my late 30's (yikes) and finding new friends is difficult. Before I got on the sober path, my best friends were all guys & gals I met in the college years...but we're too old to make friends in the same old way. The only way I know how to make new friends is sitting next to them in a bar or getting stoned in a room with black light posters. That's not the way I want to meet people anymore...what about you?

All that said, I understand your loneliness. And the key, in my experience, is to start doing what you love to do. Alone, even. Because when you start living the sober life that you want, you'll meet people who are on the same path. I chose to travel and met some real kindred spirits out there in the world. Others have chosen bowling, education, fishing, photography, carpentry, motorcycle riding, music, AA, politics, or joining sports clubs.

Getting off your couch and out there doing the things you really want to do will put you in touch with the people you want to meet. Maybe you can give it a try?

chevyguy91

Thanks for the posts everyone it helps to get advice. I've talked to my doctor and he knows what's going on.. I've been on anti depressants for four months now and they do seem to help some but not all that much. I'm only 22 so ya its hard finding a crowd that doesn't drink so far and I know I need to find some hobbys they just haven't come yet. I'll keep on trying though

Marcher13

Bigsombrero really says it well in the post above, we need to find the things we are passionate about and work at them.

It also helped me to go to the gratitude threads here at SR. I was grumpy one day in early recovery so I decided to try and think of three things I was grateful for. It wasn't hard. Then I read some posts in gratitude and I found this wonderful group of people who are grateful every day. The Gratitude washed away my grumpy feeling, then it changed my perspective because when I thought about it I had so much to be grateful for.

I'm not a religious person at all so this was an awakening for me.

chevyguy91

And kind of in a tough spot right now my number one hobby is cars and I lost the privilege to drive due to my drinking.

Gakx

You may not be able to drive but you can still do work on your car. Just think of the money that you will save and you can spend that on parts! Make sure that bad boy is waxed and looking like a mirror by the time you can get back to cruising. You can keep your car hobby no problem.

rAAt

At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic,
he passes into a state where
the most powerful desire to stop drinking
is of absolutely no avail.

This tragic situation has already arrived
in practically every case long before it is suspected.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 24

KateL

Different people take different times to feel good and therapists certainly help. Keep pushing forward. I have been sober for a good few years and still have the odd depressive wobble, but my AV seems to have died a death thank God. And if it ever comes back I will spear it with my sword xxxx