And the consequences........
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
And the consequences........
Keep coming!!
I just got over a $2000 IRS bill, in my name only, that I am responsible for. Money he took! Money he manipulated me out of. I am so angry right now. To make matters worse, I was dumb enough to expect him to be decent about it. He wasn't, there's a big shock.
I have no body to blame but myself. I was still in denial and still couldn't say No. I never imagined he could such a conniving bastard!
The consequences of my choices to stay married to an addict.....just keep on coming. He has officially left me broke and now in debt. Thank you honey, your are such a prince, such a catch.
But no matter where he goes, there he will be!! Thankfully, I will be far, far, away!
I just got over a $2000 IRS bill, in my name only, that I am responsible for. Money he took! Money he manipulated me out of. I am so angry right now. To make matters worse, I was dumb enough to expect him to be decent about it. He wasn't, there's a big shock.
I have no body to blame but myself. I was still in denial and still couldn't say No. I never imagined he could such a conniving bastard!
The consequences of my choices to stay married to an addict.....just keep on coming. He has officially left me broke and now in debt. Thank you honey, your are such a prince, such a catch.
But no matter where he goes, there he will be!! Thankfully, I will be far, far, away!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1
I feel your pain LMN. I just met with a bankruptcy lawyer because the man that was supposed to be my best friend & love me unconditionally, took me for all I was worth. I know I'm the idiot that kept giving and kept falling for the empty promises but only those who have been through this can understand how convincing & persuasive an addict can be...especially an addict you love. We suffer their consequences & are left destroyed by our choice to stand by them while we are left standing alone bearing the weight of it all.
My heart goes out to you as you deal with the aftermath but be grateful for the strength you have today to get away from it. You deserve all the happiness in the world & these, our darkest days, will make the future ones shine that much brighter. Stay strong & keep putting yourself first.
Hugs!!
My heart goes out to you as you deal with the aftermath but be grateful for the strength you have today to get away from it. You deserve all the happiness in the world & these, our darkest days, will make the future ones shine that much brighter. Stay strong & keep putting yourself first.
Hugs!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
ugh. even tho it's in your name only as married persons I'm pretty sure the IRS will go after whoever they can get.
way back when brian, my first ex, and I were separated..we just not got around to finalizing the divorce - that took 7 years. anywho, I worked at a restaurant that got audited for unreported tip income. I got hit for a chunk of taxes.....but I couldn't pay it. the irs contacted him......now, thankfully, brian was a super decent guy and he told me don't worry about it, tess, i'll take care of this..
my point is, while the notice may come to you, as married persons he is also responsible. or so I believe.
way back when brian, my first ex, and I were separated..we just not got around to finalizing the divorce - that took 7 years. anywho, I worked at a restaurant that got audited for unreported tip income. I got hit for a chunk of taxes.....but I couldn't pay it. the irs contacted him......now, thankfully, brian was a super decent guy and he told me don't worry about it, tess, i'll take care of this..
my point is, while the notice may come to you, as married persons he is also responsible. or so I believe.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I am going to call them tomorrow and see what I can do.
I was having kind of funky day anyway, so I am glad I found out today. Better then having a great day and have it ruined with this.
You could just see the satisfaction on his face. It was like "you deserve it for leaving me and not allowing me to keep using you." Who is that man sleeping on my couch??
@cantwaittomove
I was having kind of funky day anyway, so I am glad I found out today. Better then having a great day and have it ruined with this.
You could just see the satisfaction on his face. It was like "you deserve it for leaving me and not allowing me to keep using you." Who is that man sleeping on my couch??
@cantwaittomove
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by nikkiderwin 
I feel your pain LMN. I just met with a bankruptcy lawyer because the man that was supposed to be my best friend & love me unconditionally, took me for all I was worth. I know I'm the idiot that kept giving and kept falling for the empty promises but only those who have been through this can understand how convincing & persuasive an addict can be...especially an addict you love. We suffer their consequences & are left destroyed by our choice to stand by them while we are left standing alone bearing the weight of it all.
My heart goes out to you as you deal with the aftermath but be grateful for the strength you have today to get away from it. You deserve all the happiness in the world & these, our darkest days, will make the future ones shine that much brighter. Stay strong & keep putting yourself first.
Hugs!!
My heart goes out to you as you deal with the aftermath but be grateful for the strength you have today to get away from it. You deserve all the happiness in the world & these, our darkest days, will make the future ones shine that much brighter. Stay strong & keep putting yourself first.
Hugs!!
Hugs!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 98
I am not sure that it applies to your situation, but you should inquire about being an "innocent spouse". It should also be pretty easy to set up a payment plan if you have to pay and can't come up with the money in a lump sum.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
I can relate to this...why do we continue to hold on to hope that they will change. He has caused financial ruins, hurt, heart ache, trust is out the window, not to mention the total anxiety of what will happen next. However, I keep praying that the "sober" man will reappear...AM I THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM? I have continued to be the broom and dust pan that cleans up all of his messes. He is now 2 weeks into rehab (3rd trip in 14 months) now he seems he means it this time although I am not 100% convinced. I am glad he made the choice to go since I finally told him he couldn't live here and stuck to it. I met with his counselor today and we are both on same page. I warned him of his manipulation skills...I swear he would be crowned a king if possible. He still is trying to manipulate situations and control my moves but I am not letting it happen this time. After about $17,000 cash spent in 6 months, all my jewelry taken, furniture/electronics gone...I am OVER IT! His last binge was $2200 in about a 24 hour period...WHO DOES THAT? I am not trying to dig myself out of debt and am learning to set boundaries (not easy at times) Do I stand by him as long as he is doing good...or do I just cut my loses now? Prayer Prayer Prayer...that's all I can do.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Make the call, LMN and call your attorney too. I know nothing of how your tax laws work, it's quite different from here in Canada.
This reminds me of the cartoon were the man says "God, send me a sign" and a huge neon sign drops from the sky and hits him on the head. This just may be one of those strangely wrapped gifts, the one where you get to see clearly that you are doing the right thing.
Hugs and more hugs, this really is nasty stuff.
This reminds me of the cartoon were the man says "God, send me a sign" and a huge neon sign drops from the sky and hits him on the head. This just may be one of those strangely wrapped gifts, the one where you get to see clearly that you are doing the right thing.
Hugs and more hugs, this really is nasty stuff.
●▬๑۩۩๑▬●
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
I think until a legal separation is filed that any debt that he accrues between now and the filing date will also become your debts. So if this is what you are going to do... I would suggest move quickly. Also, I would send for your credit reports from all 3 reporting agencies to make sure he hasn't opened any new credit cards in your name. And also ask them to flag your name to contact you if there is any activity.
Don't be surprised if more is revealed.
Don't be surprised if more is revealed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Tinky wrote:
>>>>After about $17,000 cash spent in 6 months, all my jewelry taken, furniture/electronics gone...I am OVER IT! His last binge was $2200 in about a 24 hour period...WHO DOES THAT?<<<<<<
(addicts do)
P.S. You are NOT stupid...THEY are devious.
Cynical is right. Lock down credit. Alarm all $ entry/exit points.
>>>>After about $17,000 cash spent in 6 months, all my jewelry taken, furniture/electronics gone...I am OVER IT! His last binge was $2200 in about a 24 hour period...WHO DOES THAT?<<<<<<
(addicts do)
P.S. You are NOT stupid...THEY are devious.
Cynical is right. Lock down credit. Alarm all $ entry/exit points.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
I totally agree with Cynical One.
In my own case, I found out the hard way that State of Michigan sees a marriage as a business contract with 2 owners (that is that little piece of paper the pastor has the couple sign before the ceremony). Into the marriage, I got a phone call from a bank saying I was behind on a loan. "What loan - I did not sign for anything." My then-husband had signed for a loan by his little bitty self and did not tell me and also made no payments. I was as responsible for that loan as he was.
That is why I always advise people to not just separate but to also start the paperwork for a divorce because of the protection that it offers the innocent spouse. It is amazing how many do not want to do that because of the big "D" word.
Call a lawyer this day. If you cannot afford a lawyer, call the local women's domestic abuse center and ask if they have a lawyer who can help you at no charge.
Good luck. 10 years from now, you will be grateful that it was only $2000 if it ends up you cannot get out from under it. I know you do not want to hear "grateful" and "$2000" in the same sentence, and I can appreciate that. But keep coming back, because there are many of us here who have gone through and survived what you are going through now. God is good, even on the bad days.
In my own case, I found out the hard way that State of Michigan sees a marriage as a business contract with 2 owners (that is that little piece of paper the pastor has the couple sign before the ceremony). Into the marriage, I got a phone call from a bank saying I was behind on a loan. "What loan - I did not sign for anything." My then-husband had signed for a loan by his little bitty self and did not tell me and also made no payments. I was as responsible for that loan as he was.
That is why I always advise people to not just separate but to also start the paperwork for a divorce because of the protection that it offers the innocent spouse. It is amazing how many do not want to do that because of the big "D" word.
Call a lawyer this day. If you cannot afford a lawyer, call the local women's domestic abuse center and ask if they have a lawyer who can help you at no charge.
Good luck. 10 years from now, you will be grateful that it was only $2000 if it ends up you cannot get out from under it. I know you do not want to hear "grateful" and "$2000" in the same sentence, and I can appreciate that. But keep coming back, because there are many of us here who have gone through and survived what you are going through now. God is good, even on the bad days.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by LoveMeNow
Keep coming!!
I just got over a $2000 IRS bill, in my name only, that I am responsible for. Money he took! Money he manipulated me out of. I am so angry right now. To make matters worse, I was dumb enough to expect him to be decent about it. He wasn't, there's a big shock.
I have no body to blame but myself. I was still in denial and still couldn't say No. I never imagined he could such a conniving bastard!
The consequences of my choices to stay married to an addict.....just keep on coming. He has officially left me broke and now in debt. Thank you honey, your are such a prince, such a catch.
But no matter where he goes, there he will be!! Thankfully, I will be far, far, away!
I just got over a $2000 IRS bill, in my name only, that I am responsible for. Money he took! Money he manipulated me out of. I am so angry right now. To make matters worse, I was dumb enough to expect him to be decent about it. He wasn't, there's a big shock.
I have no body to blame but myself. I was still in denial and still couldn't say No. I never imagined he could such a conniving bastard!
The consequences of my choices to stay married to an addict.....just keep on coming. He has officially left me broke and now in debt. Thank you honey, your are such a prince, such a catch.
But no matter where he goes, there he will be!! Thankfully, I will be far, far, away!
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
If you have had a wallet or purse lost or, ahem, stolen, or even just a credit or debit card stolen, the credit agencies are required to allow you to place at least a 90-day fraud alert on your credit report without charge. I've done this in the past. It's supposed to mean that they won't allow you to open any new lines of credit without much more stringent verification than usual and that they will alert you to any activity.
So if one of your cards should go missing, that would be a good opportunity to put the alert in place. I'm not sayin' I'm just sayin'.
http://www.transunion.com/personal-c...ud-alerts.page
So if one of your cards should go missing, that would be a good opportunity to put the alert in place. I'm not sayin' I'm just sayin'.
http://www.transunion.com/personal-c...ud-alerts.page
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
Mine left me with over 10,000$ in credit debt and to fin for myself as a mother. He just left. My parents had to support me. I, 3 years later, am slowly getting back on my feet financially. As the years pass I realize how selfish he is, and how evil drugs are. No, it isn't right. and yes, it does make one quite angry. It will get better.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Filing bankruptcy is an option is not as dark as it appears, it can relieve you of all or most debt and give you a chance to start over. Laws differ in the US from Canada but most people I have known who have had to file, were relieved to have the load lifted and a chance to start anew. In Canada the CRA (our IRS) debt is included in the bankruptcy. I think (but am not certain) that this may not be the case in the US.
Protect yourself and check your options, LMN. There will be time to be overwhelmed later. Just for today drag up the strength to take care of yourself. I'm right behind you to scare off anyone who tries to stop you...and trust me, I CAN scare with just a look.
Hugs
Protect yourself and check your options, LMN. There will be time to be overwhelmed later. Just for today drag up the strength to take care of yourself. I'm right behind you to scare off anyone who tries to stop you...and trust me, I CAN scare with just a look.
Hugs
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