Lyssy

I filed for divorce this morning.

I don't know how I feel. My stomach is in knots, I have a headache. Haven't eaten anything yet today but I am not sure I could keep it down or not. I haven't cried, but could if someone said "boo" Just really, really sad.

I met with the attorney last Wednesday and went over everything. I really like her. I went back in this morning and paid and gave them all the documentation.

One thing I really was surprised about is she charges a flat fee rate based on the stages. So to file and draw up the preliminary papers, etc. was $xxxx. If we cannot resolve between ourselves and he hires his own attorney it is and additional $xxxx. That is it. No hourly rate and nickle/dime for phone calls, letters, etc.

lillamy

That sounds like a very nice payment schedule with the lawyer. I kind of wish mine had had that -- it would have been nice to know going in how much I could count on spending...

And I'm not surprised you don't know how to feel. It's a big decision and a bit action you've taken, and sometimes, I think we expect our emotions to be in parity with the size of the action, kwim? And you almost wonder if there's anything wrong with you because you don't have HUGE feelings?

Take good care of yourself. You deserve it.

hopeful4

Good for you. Lyssy...see this as a step you are taking in the healing for your own life.

Big Hugs!!

atalose

That payment plan certainly makes this very difficult decision one less stressor for you.

I remember feeling they knot in my stomach as well, I was fearful of how he was going to respond after being served.

JustAGirl1971

As someone also going through the process, I'm not sure whether to say congratulations or I'm sorry? Which I would prefer to hear depends on the day (sometimes the hour!) I will just say I hope everything goes smoothly and that you find the peace and serenity that you so richly deserve (And fingers crossed that he doesn't fight you and you just have to pay the first set sum!)

allysen

Hi Lyssy. I remember feeling the same way when I served my ex with papers last June. It's sad when any marriage ends, even if the reasons are totally legit. Its all part of the grieving process and completely normal.

My lawyer charged me in the exact same way. XAH and I were pretty much in agreement on everything so my total fees, including fees to transfer the house to my name etc. came to about $1700. On the other hand, XAH's lawyer charged by the hour/email/etc and he paid over $3000 even though it was my lawyer who did all the paperwork.

Seren

Hi Lyssy, I remember feeling very empty when I learned my divorce was final. I think I get it....and I'm sorry for the sadness.

Hopefully there will be no further complications with the legalities of it all.

Please take good care!

BoxinRotz

Lyssy... everyone is different but getting my divorce finalized was one of the best days of my life even though I lost so much. It was like freedom was given back to me.

Your mileage may vary but I wish you well!!!