Saying Good Bye
A Little Wingy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 923
Saying Good Bye
I had an idea, some time back, which has helped me, and hope it helps others.
I was going to write this out of ANGER, until I had a light bulb moment. So here we go.
To A Dear Old Friend
My dear old friend, the first time you came into my life, I think I was the tender age of 12-13. That was around the time, I had had a bomb dropped into my lap, and no one talked about it, on one tried to explain why I was feeling the way I was. Then one night, I found you in a room on the floor, sitting there minding your own business. Something told me to pick yo uup, open the bottle you resided in, and to take 1 huge drink. I was so delighted with you, I chose to take another huge drink. Whoa!! You made me feel really good, but then panic snuck in, I thought if I got caught, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble. So being the bright one that I was, I filled your bottle with some water, to make sure no one noticed you had went down, during the night.
My dear old friend, you came back into my life slowly with people I would hang out with. It was okay, I wasn't abusing you, but I did love how you made me feel, the small amounts I consumed.
My dear old friend, you entered my life at the age of 18, raging with fury. It was the lowest of low for me. I met someone who would help to bring you fully into my life. I soon learned how to abuse you. I used to blame you for abusing me. I was so happy you took my pain away, I didn't have to think about things, I didn't know how to deal with. I had no one to talk to about my pain, and there you were, always willing and able to help me. I would abuse you so bad, that I couldn't remember a lot of what, I'd done or said. But the things that I did remember, I HATED myself for, and swore over and over and over again, I was done with you. I was 100% positive many times, that our friendship was over for good. But it seems I needed you for decades.
My dear old friend, you know what happened during those years, you
know why I abused you, and I'm sorry for that. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, you were meant to be enjoyed, by having one or two drinks of you. I blamed you for making me so sick, for making me make bad choices, for making me want to end my life. I used to think you were a monster. Please forgive me.
As of this day, my dear old friend, we have to part ways, forever. I have 20 precious days of not abusing you, and I will continue to let those days build up. I know you will always be close by, hoping to continue our friendship, but I can't do it anymore. I have to LET YOU GO, FOR GOOD. I will get stronger as time goes by, and one day you'll be a faded memory to me.
I'm slowing, learning about my NEW LIFE, I've been so stuck with life having abused you, and wasted so much of it. No more.
Good bye Dear Old Friend,
I have a lot of work to do.
10-29-13
----------------------
It's almost 4 months since I wrote this letter, and grateful that I did. I'm so much stronger today.
Newcomers, please do whatever it takes to keep yourself on the sober path.
Hugs
I was going to write this out of ANGER, until I had a light bulb moment. So here we go.
To A Dear Old Friend
My dear old friend, the first time you came into my life, I think I was the tender age of 12-13. That was around the time, I had had a bomb dropped into my lap, and no one talked about it, on one tried to explain why I was feeling the way I was. Then one night, I found you in a room on the floor, sitting there minding your own business. Something told me to pick yo uup, open the bottle you resided in, and to take 1 huge drink. I was so delighted with you, I chose to take another huge drink. Whoa!! You made me feel really good, but then panic snuck in, I thought if I got caught, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble. So being the bright one that I was, I filled your bottle with some water, to make sure no one noticed you had went down, during the night.
My dear old friend, you came back into my life slowly with people I would hang out with. It was okay, I wasn't abusing you, but I did love how you made me feel, the small amounts I consumed.
My dear old friend, you entered my life at the age of 18, raging with fury. It was the lowest of low for me. I met someone who would help to bring you fully into my life. I soon learned how to abuse you. I used to blame you for abusing me. I was so happy you took my pain away, I didn't have to think about things, I didn't know how to deal with. I had no one to talk to about my pain, and there you were, always willing and able to help me. I would abuse you so bad, that I couldn't remember a lot of what, I'd done or said. But the things that I did remember, I HATED myself for, and swore over and over and over again, I was done with you. I was 100% positive many times, that our friendship was over for good. But it seems I needed you for decades.
My dear old friend, you know what happened during those years, you
know why I abused you, and I'm sorry for that. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, you were meant to be enjoyed, by having one or two drinks of you. I blamed you for making me so sick, for making me make bad choices, for making me want to end my life. I used to think you were a monster. Please forgive me.
As of this day, my dear old friend, we have to part ways, forever. I have 20 precious days of not abusing you, and I will continue to let those days build up. I know you will always be close by, hoping to continue our friendship, but I can't do it anymore. I have to LET YOU GO, FOR GOOD. I will get stronger as time goes by, and one day you'll be a faded memory to me.
I'm slowing, learning about my NEW LIFE, I've been so stuck with life having abused you, and wasted so much of it. No more.
Good bye Dear Old Friend,
I have a lot of work to do.
10-29-13
----------------------
It's almost 4 months since I wrote this letter, and grateful that I did. I'm so much stronger today.
Newcomers, please do whatever it takes to keep yourself on the sober path.
Hugs
A Little Wingy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 923
Today I revisit, something I had written early in my recovery.
It was 20 FREE days when I wrote this.
Today, I feel I've walked out
of a nightmare.,
I'm soon approaching 10 months.
Today, it's not even about the time, days,
months put together. It's about the gift
of FREEDOM, we give ourselves.
Another shout out.
IF I CAN DO THIS
SO CAN YOU
You won't believe how much better, you'll feel.
It will be worth every effort you put into it.
Why not write a letter to yourself, later
you can revisit it, to see the power it holds.
Take care of your beautiful selves.
Life is waiting for you
Saying Good Bye
I JUST WANT PEACE
It was 20 FREE days when I wrote this.
Today, I feel I've walked out
of a nightmare.,
I'm soon approaching 10 months.
Today, it's not even about the time, days,
months put together. It's about the gift
of FREEDOM, we give ourselves.
Another shout out.
IF I CAN DO THIS
SO CAN YOU
You won't believe how much better, you'll feel.
It will be worth every effort you put into it.
Why not write a letter to yourself, later
you can revisit it, to see the power it holds.
Take care of your beautiful selves.
Life is waiting for you
Saying Good Bye
I JUST WANT PEACE
Say Yes!!!
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