sweetaxiom

Hello! My sister has been sober, in the Salvation Army Adult Rehab center for nearly six months. She entered on her own volition [which I think makes a difference]. Its nearly time for her to graduate, to either stop living in with the rest of the recovering addicts or to still live there. Either way she plans on being productive.

Her drug of choice was meth/cocaine. She wants to come live with me, and we'll help teach each other things [I'll teach her about eating right/exercise while she tries to kick her cigarette habit, she's going to teach me about organizing].

What do I look out for with regards to relapse? Are there any drug paraphernalia items I should look out for?

I know her relapse will not be my fault. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't be cautious, given what quite possibly happened to her dog [I have him now] during her addiction.

I take a legally prescribed medication, Adderall [ Adderall - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ] which can be abused. I'm going to get a medication lockbox for it. Any other suggestions?

cece1960

Hi Sweetaxiom,
I would set firm boundaries in place, as well as a back up plan should things not work out. Your sister has been in a controlled environment for quite a while, so it's hard to predict what will happen once she move in.

I'm happy to hear she has followed through with the program and wish you and her the best!

greeteachday

Hi Sweetaxiom, really nice of you to offer your sister this option. I like Cece's suggestions. having a plan B is really helpful should a problem develop - I struggle with thinking rationally rather than emotionally in the midst of a crisis.

I never knew specifics of what to look for in terms of specific things, but actions spoke volumes to me. My using daughter and my sober daughter were two different personalities completely.

it sounds like you both communicate honestly with each other which to me is huge. I hope this is a great experience for both of you - Please keep us posted.

hopeful4

My best advise from what I have gathered is to keep all of your $ safe and out of reach.

I think it's great that you are doing this together. Her feeling like she is helping you also will be a good thing for her recovery.

Hope it all works out!

interrupted

I would set some firm boundaries and have an action plan for exactly what you will do if those boundaries are crossed. If she uses drugs, are you prepared to kick her out even when she's crying about how she will be homeless if you do? Boundaries that are unenforceable hurt both you and her, so I would think really hard about this.

I would also follow the suggestions for finding a safe place for any valuables that you have. Protect access to checks, your purse, etc. I would have sworn up and down that my sister would never steal from me right up until the day she did.

Take care of yourself, first. She is an adult, and she can and should learn how to deal with life on life's terms. Don't do anything for her that she is capable of doing herself. Once she's living with you, is she going to be going to meetings? Working her recovery? Her behavior will show you whether she is active in her recovery or not. Addiction looks like addiction, recovery looks like recovery.

I was in a similar position and I decided not to allow my sister to come live with me. I'm not a good candidate to assist her with her recovery, we too quickly fall into old behavior patterns and living with her would mean sacrificing my own health and happiness. I wish you and your sister success in the future. Keep posting here and let us know how things are going.

Txhelp

I agree with the posters...have a plan B if boundaries are crossed.

It's wonderful that your sister went to rehab and completed the program. It's equally wonderful that you are going to assist her in getting back into the world.

However, this world, as we all know have many temptations and that is where "working the program" comes in. If she is serious about her recovery you will see it. If you begin to see her doing questionable things...then her recovery is lapsing.

Sober living is a great and often cheap option for those getting out of rehab. I would highly recommend it it as she can live with sober people and still be apart of your life.

sweetaxiom

Plan B is either her or me going back to live at Mom's place. But the dogs will stay with me either way. They are innocent victims.

My Mom purchased a lockbox for me that has two keys. I have one, she has the other. I don't carry large amounts of cash on me and all credit cards I have are in my name.

My sister plans on going to NA meetings and going to Chapel service at the Salvation Army. I do plan on being supportive of her within reason, at least until "helping you is hurting me" comes into play, because that's a sign I am enabling her. I don't remember ever enabling her.

Kindeyes

My suggestion is to speak to the folks at the SA-ARC and work with them to develop the strategies for her continued recovery. There are more options than you suggested.....there is usually a Phase II and Phase III program with the SA-ARC as well as Oxford Housing. In these situations she would be able to continue to stay in a clean and sober environment with community of like minded individuals with great support.

I volunteer at an SA-ARC, my son is an alumni of the program, and anyone who asks me......I would suggest that they not try to develop the plan on your own or with the addict only!!! See if you can arrange a meeting with her mentors or counselors at the SA-ARC. Allow them to help you navigate a continued recovery plan......particularly if she is going to be living with you.

The folks at the SA-ARC are a great support for the recovering addict AND their family!

gentle hugs
ke