Drknz

I wouldn't even call it self pity.. it's more like self anger and I hate myself at the moment.

So after spending all last week mon - fri not having any drinks the whole week I cracked on the friday night and got drunk at home with friends. Thens Saturday I had 4 beers not exactly cause I wanted to but because I felt pressured by my friends who wanted to catch up with me..

Then sunday rolls around and it's Australia day (big day of celebration here in Aus) and I go to a BBQ with the mindset that i'll only drink about 6 beers and spread them out through the night. Fast forward and its 4 am and were all drinking and i'm drunk again as usual..

The worse part is the following night I seem to experience a rebound effect after my hangover wore off and I didn't fall asleep till about 4am, in which I had to be at work by 7am. So I ended up missing work and now I'm extremely pissed off and disspaointed in myself.

Why can't I ever drink normal, and why when I get into my drinking mood does it seem like I just can't stop Anyways this is more for personal reflection and to get down my thoughts than anything else.. But hopefully this anger n disappointment goes away.

Dee74

Hi Drknz - welcome to SR

I'm an Aussie too and I remember thinking there's no way I can get sober with my life...and I was right in a sense.

I had to make some changes - there was no way around that....my life was drink-sodden...but I feel the changes were totally worth it - I love my life without alcohol and I love the man that sober life has let me become.

I spent many Australia Days passed out...a waste of a day, and I wasted whole years that way.

I don't regret the changes I needed to make

D

Drknz

Hi Dee,

Yeah it always seems to be that way with Aussie day... What was the most important changes you made to get on the right track? I defiantly know I need to stop or cut down and my mindset towards alcohol has defiantly become more cautious.. however it's like as soon as I start eating healthy, exercising and feeling good again i'll eventually crack and cave in.

Dee74

Well my drinking nearly killed me so there was no thinking I might be able to cut down.
I knew I couldn't, and I'd tried hard enough.

I pretty much surrounded myself with hard drinking guys - a lot of them fell away when I quit drinking, but the ones who stayed I knew were my real mates.

I had to think of other things to do too - pubs clubs and parties were all pretty much an excuse for me to drink, so they had to go by the wayside too.

All this may sound drastic to you but it was what I needed to do.

What you do is basically down to you and how far you're prepared to go to make changes I think drnkz?

Like I said I never regret it.
I'm glad everyday to be able to look myself in the eyes in the mirror again

D

instant

Welcome to SR. Once i lost my ability to control what i drank i never really got it back. The desire to chase the buzz got more relentless with time. In the end my whole body burned as soon as i had a drop.

The only freedom I got was when i decided to embrace sobriety unconditionally- i had to go through withdrawal and a lenghty period of adjustment but ot was worth it.

Going to shows, and BBQs etc was hell for 6months - they are best avoided. Now i can go anywhere but if the scene is loud and getting loose, i am not there.

KateL

If you stick at it, things will get better and going to functions will become easier. I often go out where people are drinking now and it doesn't bother me. One time, I would be climbing the walls so I avoided it. It's all about giving yourself time to adjust. xx

SnoozyQ

Welcome drnkz