What to do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: mesa, AZ
Posts: 1
What to do
My wife and I have been married 20 years. She is now, and has been for several years, drinking nightly. In her own eyes, its not a problem because its wine and beer and she doesn't drink and drive, she also hides it from the kids well. But, her nightly verbal abuse to me is intolerable. I feel trapped because we have a chronically ill daughter at home. ????
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
sounds like a tremendously difficult situation. Have you considered going to an al-anon meeting?
Might be good for you to have a supportive place of community as a starting point. If your wife doesn't believe there is a problem, probably nothing you can do will 'make' her.... but trying to talk with her at some point about this very openly and honestly and sharing your concerns in a caring way is probably also a step worth taking....
May you find support to care for yourself as you face this situation
Might be good for you to have a supportive place of community as a starting point. If your wife doesn't believe there is a problem, probably nothing you can do will 'make' her.... but trying to talk with her at some point about this very openly and honestly and sharing your concerns in a caring way is probably also a step worth taking....
May you find support to care for yourself as you face this situation
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,686
Hi 20yearsnow, I can relate , I drank whilst my husband didn't, every night, wine until I passed out on the sofa. My husband suffered it for a few years.
I'm sober now, but however much my husband wanted me to stop, I thought I could control the drinking and didn't want to stop, until he left me. Being in my own for a while was like a cold shower, I woke up from my fog.
There is a hope for your wife but how it comes about, it has to be her doing , I think. I'm sorry for what you're going through, especially with your very ill daughter to care for.
There are plenty of experiences to read and information in the stickies at the top of the page, take care of yourself.
I'm sober now, but however much my husband wanted me to stop, I thought I could control the drinking and didn't want to stop, until he left me. Being in my own for a while was like a cold shower, I woke up from my fog.
There is a hope for your wife but how it comes about, it has to be her doing , I think. I'm sorry for what you're going through, especially with your very ill daughter to care for.
There are plenty of experiences to read and information in the stickies at the top of the page, take care of yourself.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome! 
I'd also suggest AlAnon for support for yourself. We have a special forum just for friends and family of alcoholics. Give it a look. 
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I'd also suggest AlAnon for support for yourself. We have a special forum just for friends and family of alcoholics. Give it a look. Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome 20yearsnow. I do hope you'll check out the Friends & Families Forum as Least & Dee suggested. Many people there are going through the same thing.
I know when I drank I didn't realize how it changed my personality. I became very confrontational & edgy - which is the exact opposite of the real me. I hope it'll help to be here. You're never alone.
I know when I drank I didn't realize how it changed my personality. I became very confrontational & edgy - which is the exact opposite of the real me. I hope it'll help to be here. You're never alone.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
