jjj09

Im a completely normal 23 year old. ive been drinking since i was 15 socially. Since i was 18 and could buy alcohol myself ive been drinking at home. I've tried to convince myself i dont need to drink once ive finished work, yet i come home and open the vodka, watch tv till im drunk and go to sleep. How do i stop this routine? I feel fine during the day but my skin is starting to look red and patchy, my diet is suffering, and im only 23. My close friends and people at work have no idea, i just want to stop craving the feeling i get when i've had a drink - safe, comfortable and at peace. i love the taste, warmth inside and relaxed feeling. i just know im going to become unstoppably addicted and i have no where to turn.

Is there somthing i can do at night, that stops me thinking about drinking? what works for you?

It doesnt help that my shifts often start at 3pm so i have time for a hangover, supermarkets sell alcohol 24 hours a day in the uk, and i enjoy the taste of vodka. Any ideas would help so much,
Thanks

silentrun

Hi jjj09. I was an alone night drinker just like you. I just kind of took the hit of the cravings until enough time evolved that they stopped. Craving came tried to put happy thoughts in my head = remember all the bad.

safe2breathe

asking if youre an alcoholic suggests that you are.
youre description sounds like you are ... but

only you can make that decision - and you need to be completely
honest with yourself....

ReadyAndAble

Hi, J. Welcome to SR!

I only found one way to end the obsession, and that was to end the drinking. Beer, wine, liquor, all of it. Temporary breaks—on the rare occasion I could even manage to string together some nights without booze—only reinforced the obsession. It was as if my addiction could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that kept it strong.

Once I decided to quit, really quit, as in forever, things got easier. It was still a major commitment, requiring 100% effort in the early weeks. But gradually I started to readjust. Not just readjust, but enjoy it. So grateful now I made the effort.

Only you can say whether you're an alcoholic. For me, the proof was that no matter how many times I woke up promising myself I wouldn't drink, I would end up drinking. For most people, I don't think it's a big deal whether they drink or not. And like I said, for me it was an obsession.

It's awesome you're asking these questions at 23. I ignored warning signs for years and years. My only regret about quitting is that I didn't do it sooner. But better late than never!

jjj09

thanks readyandable, i want to stop drinking every night before i end up ill. but i have nothing stopping me from pouring a drink each night, somthings controlling me and i need to get a grip and concentrate on what matters. not watching **** tv and drinking. hope sr can help me

stevie88

Do something else instead of slobbing out in front of the tv....For me it was the gym that probably saved my life.....I'm sure there's an hobby out there for you.....And welcome to SR from a fellow midlander.

dizzychainsaw

I was also a nighttime , lone drinker. After work, it was me, my liquor and the TV. I eventually went to detox and rehab and joined AA. Staying busy helps. Talking to someone either in person or on the phone, going to a meeting, exercising, coming here to SR.

ReadyAndAble

Sure helped me, finding SR. You've definitely come to the right place!

Imabuleva

I have one question:

How does one enjoy the taste of vodka? I could drink it mixed with orange juice in order to get drunk... but the taste? o_0

safe2breathe

are you ready to admit youre an alcoholic?

justinJustQuit

I love the taste of a $30 bottle of vodka. Something about the way it goes down. Ok i'm on night one. Fantasizing about Grey Goose is not a good idea.

malcolmsloan

Hi, J, and welcome to SR. I hear/see and relate to a lot of conflict in your response. "I like it, but I hate it" thinking. For me, it really helped to start and untangle these voices in my head, creating reasons for and justifying my drinking. When I found AVRT and learned about my Addict Voice, I started making some real progress down my sober path. Could be something to check out for you. But there are lots of options for creating action. Also, I had to get serious, dig in, focus on not just getting sober but getting happy. Of course, the physical suffering was awful, but the inner turmoil was equally insidious. Glad you're here.

KateL

My daughter call it getting loosy on the goosey After a while, I found the mere thought of it yuk!!! xxx

FreeOwl

It occurs to me that when I look back to 23 I probably would have said "I'm a completely normal 23 year old" also.

However, at 41 I now realize that at 23 I was a "completely normal, 23 year old ALCOHOLIC".

I can't tell you whether you're an alcoholic but I can tell you that a lot of what you've said is exactly what I've felt too.

I would strongly suggest you get yourself to a few AA meetings.

JanieF

Well done, talking to others is a great step. I was a night timer too. Perhaps get yourself to a meeting ? Can't hurt

Amnesiac

You're dangerously close to alcoholism, OP. There are lists online probably that you can check off - certain number of affirmatives to the questions indicate you are an alcoholic.


Pretty much. It beats drinking mouthwash though, which on my last two relapses I was drinking (a jug at a time).

As much as I drink, and I suspect quite a few of my fellow alcoholics, especially the homeless crowd - I cannot afford to drink GG, Sky, Absolut, Pearl or any of the premiums.

I was doing a liter of Phillips (and occasionally Kamchatka) before I went into in-patient a couple months ago and that was as much as my budget would permit.

If we're really honest with ourselves as alcoholics the "taste" of vodka (or any hard stuff for that matter) is absolutely disgusting beyond imagination.

PurpleKnight

Hey J, my story is the same as yours, go to work, come home, drink Whisky (rather than vodka), pass out into bed and repeat that cycle for 4/5 years.

Your gonna need support to get you through, you can't do this on your own, you also can't stick to the same routine your used to, simply sitting at home doing nothing and not drinking is a road to the inevitable, you need to start planning some other activities to do, I found simply playing some online games got me through the early days!!

It can be done!!

Inca

Wish I was your age when I started wondering if I was an alcoholic. You have the opportunity to make some very positive changes and fully enjoy your 20's. Great time to start checking out meetings and posting more on here to see if you relate. Only you can determine if you're an alcoholic but just the fact that you're asking the question is a good sign and there's probably more there for you to explore re: alcoholism