Smoker friends
Goddess in the making
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 33
Smoker friends
A smoking ban went into effect in Toronto on June 1st, so I thought it would be the perfect day to quit. Slapped on a patch, which was surprisingly effective. Until...
I went out for a drink with a friend I've known my whole life. We smoked together all the time, and she still smokes. She had planned to quit with me, but changed her mind (she had Crohn's, and said her doc was against her quitting because of the stress...hmmm)
Anyway, I was doing alright with not craving, even though she was smoking (we were on a patio). She was obviously uncomfortable with me not smoking though. I was a little spacey, since it was only day 3, and she kept commenting on how I was "acting weird". I explained why, that it happens when you quit at first. She was like "well you sure don't make quitting seem very good". She even said that she didn't like me not smoking.
My inner junkie heard all she needed to hear...I was smoking the next day!
My druggie boyfriend is, ironically, more supportive. My last quit, he told me over an over how well I was doing and how proud of me he was. He is a smoker also.
Anyone else come up against resistance from smoker friends? How to deal with it?
I went out for a drink with a friend I've known my whole life. We smoked together all the time, and she still smokes. She had planned to quit with me, but changed her mind (she had Crohn's, and said her doc was against her quitting because of the stress...hmmm)
Anyway, I was doing alright with not craving, even though she was smoking (we were on a patio). She was obviously uncomfortable with me not smoking though. I was a little spacey, since it was only day 3, and she kept commenting on how I was "acting weird". I explained why, that it happens when you quit at first. She was like "well you sure don't make quitting seem very good". She even said that she didn't like me not smoking.
My inner junkie heard all she needed to hear...I was smoking the next day!
My druggie boyfriend is, ironically, more supportive. My last quit, he told me over an over how well I was doing and how proud of me he was. He is a smoker also.
Anyone else come up against resistance from smoker friends? How to deal with it?
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Ya know, I read this post a few days ago. It kept comming back to me. Don't know why.
I haven't experienced this particular problem. However, if I did have smoker friends trying to or wanted me to get smoking again, hmmm. This is what I would like to tell them:
"Unless you want to financially support my two pack a day habbit, don't discourage me from quitting. I am addicted."
I might even include the phrase, "including all resultant health costs."
That was a lousey thing for your friend to say. Maybe, you could talk to her about how it is you need to be supported?
Ironically, I am uncomfortable with friends and family going overboard with praise! Hate that too! And that emotional feeling of stress has been my downfall.
Gotta get past that too. That is MY issue to work on.
I am definately trying to become more aware.
Shalom!
I haven't experienced this particular problem. However, if I did have smoker friends trying to or wanted me to get smoking again, hmmm. This is what I would like to tell them:
"Unless you want to financially support my two pack a day habbit, don't discourage me from quitting. I am addicted."
I might even include the phrase, "including all resultant health costs."
That was a lousey thing for your friend to say. Maybe, you could talk to her about how it is you need to be supported?
Ironically, I am uncomfortable with friends and family going overboard with praise! Hate that too! And that emotional feeling of stress has been my downfall.
Gotta get past that too. That is MY issue to work on.
I am definately trying to become more aware.
Shalom!
Goddess in the making
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 33
LOL! I may just try that...tell her either support me, or support my habit. I think she's just scared that I'm leaving her all alone in the smoking arena. I am going to stay away from her until I feel stronger in my resolve though. I would love to smoke right now.
Do you find people over-praise you for quitting? Or would you just rather go about it and get it done with minimal fuss?
Do you find people over-praise you for quitting? Or would you just rather go about it and get it done with minimal fuss?
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Yes, I do find people over praising me, and I HATE it. I can take a simple "good work" or "congratulations." But, I am not into false praise. 
You know, your post must have been a G*Dsend - just on time!!!
At the restaurant, the new cook asked me if I was ready for one. And you know what I said? "Unless you want to support my 2 pack a day habbit, shut up!"
LOL!
You got me prepared for something I was not ready for. Thank you!
Shalom!
You know, your post must have been a G*Dsend - just on time!!!
At the restaurant, the new cook asked me if I was ready for one. And you know what I said? "Unless you want to support my 2 pack a day habbit, shut up!"
LOL!
You got me prepared for something I was not ready for. Thank you!
Shalom!
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