2bhappier

I know I have a drinking problem. I live in a very remote part of the US but I did find a meeting that happens Monday morning that I can make. The terrible part is that I don't really intend to stop drinking over the weekend and I feel guilty and shameful about that. I am not an all day drinker but at 5 I get that urge and I slam a couple of glasses of wine. Then I feel good for a while. I don't think that is normal drinking behavior and I haven't been able to stop on my own. Friends say I don't drink enough to qualify for AA meetings. Is that actually true? My drinking is daily and even though it isn't a huge amount (well at least 1/2 bottle of wine a day which I think is a lot for a woman) I can't stop. I feel terrible about myself and even worse because I know I'll drink tonight, tomorrow night, Sunday night and hopefully NOT Monday night. Am I insane?

Thepatman

It's not the quantity or the frequency dear friend. It's about how Alcohol make you feel and your relationship with it.

You have already determined that you find your behaviour abnormal, maybe you are on to something. But only YOU can decide if you are Alcoholic or not.

Welcome to SR, you will have lot's of support here. Keep posting!

Toffee1

Hi and welcome 2b. Firstly you are not insane! It doesn't matter how much you drink it is how you FEEL about your drinking. Are you happy with it? For me it was all about breaking habits. If you drink at 5 every day then plan something for that time so that you won't drink ie go out, meet someone for coffee, get a hobby whatever. Do you drink in the house? If so then get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Personally I don't go to AA but a lot on here do so give it a try, I would suggest keeping an open mind on all resources open to you. I use AVRT , a technique also popular here which you can google . You will find lots of guidance and support here and I wish you all the best.

ForeverANewGuy

If you feel like you can't stop on your own then it sounds to me like its a problem. If you have your reservations on stopping this weekend I'm pretty sure you're not alone. If you want to stop and start getting better that meeting will probably help. Even though I haven't always liked it, meetings have helped me out a lot. Good luck

PurpleKnight

Yeah there's no quantity gauge in the definition of alcoholic, the phrase "I can't stop" is the red flag your looking for.

The problem with alcoholics though is that usually it's an all or nothing way forward, as in completely quitting alcohol is the only solution, as the alcohol would still continue to control life otherwise.

From experience, when I realised that I thought and was consumed by thinking about alcohol all the time, this night, that night, how much am I drinking . . . I new something had to change!!

totfit

You are not insane. It is normal to hold on. One thing though if your "meeting" on Monday mornings is a closed AA meeting, you don't belong. Don't mean it in a bad way, just that AA is for folks that have a desire to stop drinking. Others are not supposed to attend closed meetings. That being said, if you still intend on "controlling" there are meetings and list online of other groups: moderation management, drink safe, etc. that would fit your desire. Moderation management also has a group for abstinent folks if you start and find it impossible to control yourself to just the weekends.

heath480

Welcome to SR.

There is no minimum amount you have to drink to be an Alcoholic,I have known many who only drank small amounts.

If you think it is a problem to you and you want to stop that is good news.Also Alcoholism is progressive,for me it was slow right up until the last years of my drinking,then it took off like a jet plane.

Go to an AA meeting,try several before you make any decision about whether you think it will be helpful to you.

I wish you well.

firstymer

Guilt and shame. My two constant drinking companions. If you make the commitment to not drink today or this weekend, and to make it to the meeting with these days of sobriety under your belt, I am willing to bet you will arrive at the AA meeting with strength and resolve, not guilt and shame. Obviously, getting to the meeting is the main thing. But why not take charge - today.

Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.

BillinSaratoga

2b - welcome to SR! As others have said it isn't quantity actually that says if you have a problem or not. I too did not drink before 5pm bit after work had a routine and stopped drank then found excuses later to run an errand (and drank more) never too much and told myself I didn't have a problem. If u have decided u can't stop or u hide your drinking then perhaps you should consider stopping. Whatever your life decision you'll find support here

hypochondriac

Desire and intent are too different things in my book, I reckon you'd be welcome to any meeting. In the AA meetings I have attended I have met people who continued to go and carried on drinking, sometimes for years before it started sinking in. Personally I found that stopping drinking was the hardest bit and there is no progress you can make while you carry on drinking. It is so hard initially but sobriety is progressive too Glad you're here x

HeadLump

Yes, this was very true for me. My half bottle a day became one, then one and a half. And the start time would get earlier and earlier. I knew it was a problem, so I built in alcohol-free days. I even got up to 5 a week sometimes. But then I'd sink 2 bottles (or more) on each of the other nights

And I found that when I wasn't drinking, I was counting down the hours or days until I could. I could think of little else.

When I decided to give up all together, I was worried that the obsession would consume me, but, to my surprise, the longer I went without a drink, the less my body/mind wanted one. Before long, I was consumed by a fantastic feeling of freedom I no longer drink, so there is nothing to obsess about. It has changed my whole view of drinking, of living, of me!

Why not try to stop completely, just for a month? You may find a whole new person inside who'll be very grateful - not to mention those outside who suffer because we do.

We'll be here supporting and rooting for you every step of the way

sugarbear1

There are no "qualifications" for AA. If you have a desire to stop drinking you are welcome there!

KateL

If what you drink worries you, then you qualify for whichever support you choose and don't let anyone tell you otherwise xxxx

Threshold

I live in a remote part of the country too.

Meetings are awesome, but what takes place day to day, between the meetings is what keeps us sober.

SR is a great resource and support for recovery.

I don't have access to face to face meetings here, but luckily I DO have internet!

Don't buy booze, come up with a plan for living, get support, you can do it.

2bhappier

Thank you all for your support and replies. I feel very fortunate to have found this site. I don't think moderation is a good idea for me because I've tried to moderate my drinking and haven't been successful. Even not drinking for one day is hard. I think for me it is best to stop entirely. I am terrified of being worried about drinking all day though. What if I spend all my energy lamenting not drinking? I want to be free from the obsession. Is that really possible?

HenryKrinkle

It is possible. Lots of people here have done it, and I'd bet all of them would say their life is way better now that they've stopped. Once you stop, the obsession with drinking will fade, until it is no more. But, if you keep drinking, it will remain.

HenryKrinkle

So, in essence, you have it backward. Continuing to drink effectively continues the obsession with it. Quitting altogether effectively allows you to break free from it and start living your life instead of obsessing about drinking.

2bhappier

I have to admit I am really very worried about myself. I am definitely an addict. I can't stop exercising either. I've harmed my body through that as well. And, I know I need to stop that too. But I feel overwhelmed.

hypochondriac

Finding a healthy balance is like the holy grail of recovery... I used to obsessively exercise when I was young (I really don't do that now), and developed food issues and a compulsive shopping habit after quitting drinking. I think if you are mindful of these things then it is easier to do something about them so you're already halfway there x

1newcreation

Howdy 2b
Since you have posted these questions, that says @ least to me that you realise alc is a problem in your life. I didnt realise it until a counselor suggested I go to an aa mtg & when I did there was no doubt in my mind that as I heard the folks share, that that was me!
Welcome & best wishes in '14