Hey there folks!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Central U.S.
Posts: 12
Hey there folks!
I am new to the forum. I would say I am new to recovery, but I have done it before so I guess I'm making another go around. I have been a hard drinker for a lot of years. I've had two DUI's when I was younger (learned my lesson and never got behind the wheel again after the second one if I was drinking) Started drinking heavily at 18, I did drink some sooner than that at 12 and got my first public intox at 13) and am now 48. I did have quite a few of those years that I didn't drink as much and had one stint of 8 years sober and another of 3 years sober.
I come from a family of alcoholics, brash bluntness, and impulsive behavior when drunk. Add those all together and you alienate a lot of people in your life. I have lost two one very very good woman and quite a few good friends who just simply don't want to deal with me or matured past the point of being a party person.
Otherwise, I have had a decent life. I've worked, paid my bills, etc..., but I have, for the most part, always felt an emptiness. In the past two years I really stepped up the drinking again when I got divorced and my mom died unexpectedly. It sent me into a tailspin. Now the friends I have made in the past two years have begun voicing their concerns, I have said some things I shouldn't have, and I've spent a TON of money. I have quit working out, basically gone to s**t health wise and am now experiencing some liver pains after 4-6 day binges (imagine that), am not dating anyone, and am feeling pretty lonely. I figure its time to put away the party days.
Anyhow, thats a brief synopsis of myself. I look forward to talking with many of you and welcome any questions you may have for me. I will answer honestly. I have been through a lot in life. I know some right ways to do things and a whole lot of wrong ways to do things.
I come from a family of alcoholics, brash bluntness, and impulsive behavior when drunk. Add those all together and you alienate a lot of people in your life. I have lost two one very very good woman and quite a few good friends who just simply don't want to deal with me or matured past the point of being a party person.
Otherwise, I have had a decent life. I've worked, paid my bills, etc..., but I have, for the most part, always felt an emptiness. In the past two years I really stepped up the drinking again when I got divorced and my mom died unexpectedly. It sent me into a tailspin. Now the friends I have made in the past two years have begun voicing their concerns, I have said some things I shouldn't have, and I've spent a TON of money. I have quit working out, basically gone to s**t health wise and am now experiencing some liver pains after 4-6 day binges (imagine that), am not dating anyone, and am feeling pretty lonely. I figure its time to put away the party days.
Anyhow, thats a brief synopsis of myself. I look forward to talking with many of you and welcome any questions you may have for me. I will answer honestly. I have been through a lot in life. I know some right ways to do things and a whole lot of wrong ways to do things.
to SR - you've found a brilliant site and with it being international, there's always someone around 24/7 Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!!! I found SR when I wasn't quite ready to quit using, but I kept coming back. Something about the people here touched me, deeply, and I learned I was far from alone.
I'll have 7 years in recovery in March (wow, I thought it was 6 years and just did the math!!). To be honest? SR, and the great people here, have been a HUGE part of my recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'll have 7 years in recovery in March (wow, I thought it was 6 years and just did the math!!). To be honest? SR, and the great people here, have been a HUGE part of my recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Central U.S.
Posts: 12
Awesome job Amy! Thank you and Skye for the welcome!
I often wonder why I go back to drinking. I can not drink for 4-7 days and feel incredible. So incredible, in fact, that I feel like going to the bar LOL. It's such a vicious cycle. I do know that I am a better person when I don't drink. I have more meaningful relationships with friends and my wallet gets fatter while I get thinner!
I often wonder why I go back to drinking. I can not drink for 4-7 days and feel incredible. So incredible, in fact, that I feel like going to the bar LOL. It's such a vicious cycle. I do know that I am a better person when I don't drink. I have more meaningful relationships with friends and my wallet gets fatter while I get thinner!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Gimme - for me, I had a bad relapse and it left quite an impression on me. When I started thinking "oh, I've been so good, just a little won't hurt", I would instantly say "not an option...next" with "next" being a cue to distract myself. I also had vivid recall of my relapse (still do, TBH).
In time, I found my mind distracting itself before I realized I'd even THOUGHT of using. I don't do "just a little" of anything. Once I finally realized that I would end up BACK where I started, I just didn't want to go through it again.
Maybe when those thoughts come back, come here and read your first post? I also got a lot of reinforcement for recovery by reading others posts that went back out and it reminded me that it never gets any better, it only gets worse.
You can do this - you now have friends all over the world on here and we make a pretty awesome support system
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
In time, I found my mind distracting itself before I realized I'd even THOUGHT of using. I don't do "just a little" of anything. Once I finally realized that I would end up BACK where I started, I just didn't want to go through it again.
Maybe when those thoughts come back, come here and read your first post? I also got a lot of reinforcement for recovery by reading others posts that went back out and it reminded me that it never gets any better, it only gets worse.
You can do this - you now have friends all over the world on here and we make a pretty awesome support system
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome!
I wish I had quit when I was as young as you. Funny how we are always feeling like we are too late until later and we find we would not have been then, and if we don't do it today tomorrow we realize it wasn't too late until it is. Congrats on getting free.
I wish I had quit when I was as young as you. Funny how we are always feeling like we are too late until later and we find we would not have been then, and if we don't do it today tomorrow we realize it wasn't too late until it is. Congrats on getting free.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Central U.S.
Posts: 12
Itchy, I am glad that I did have some years in there that I didn't drink, or didn't drink much, but I have been drinking the past 3 years with binges lasting 3-7 days periodicaly. I am starting my next go round at quitting today. I appreciate the welcome~
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by GimmeAnudder1 
Itchy, I am glad that I did have some years in there that I didn't drink, or didn't drink much, but I have been drinking the past 3 years with binges lasting 3-7 days periodicaly. I am starting my next go round at quitting today. I appreciate the welcome~
xxx
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