Feeling so great about how I'm working my program
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Feeling so great about how I'm working my program
I have been working so hard, turning to my HP, using my Al Anon tools, to guard my serenity lately. My AH drove over 2000 miles after Thanksgiving (and spent nearly $1000 in the process) because he had been promised a job, only to arrive at his destination and be told there was nothing. He has been very angry and depressed about the situation, especially because now he does not have any money to buy Christmas presents for our son (no talk, of course, about feeling bad that he has no money to buy presents for me, or for my daughters). He ended up driving back closer to home for a lower-paying job with less overtime that started today.
Not long ago, I would have taken all of his bad feelings, his disappointment, his anger...I would have taken all of that on as my own. This time around, I have been able to feel (and express) sincere and DETACHED compassion for his situation without letting it bring me down and ruin my day.
I have some anxiety about how he will behave when he is here for Christmas. It has helped his mood to be back to work, but I'm quite sure he will be surly and negative when he gets here for the holiday, because he can't spent hundreds of dollars on totally unnecessary (and often age-inappropriate) toys for our son (who already has more toys than the entire state of California). But I'm keeping the anxiety in check, and generally doing a good job of not letting that anxiety take over and ruin my day. I have my usual back-up plans in place should things go south, and that's good enough for me.
I'm feeling deeply grateful for my program, and for all of you!
Not long ago, I would have taken all of his bad feelings, his disappointment, his anger...I would have taken all of that on as my own. This time around, I have been able to feel (and express) sincere and DETACHED compassion for his situation without letting it bring me down and ruin my day.
I have some anxiety about how he will behave when he is here for Christmas. It has helped his mood to be back to work, but I'm quite sure he will be surly and negative when he gets here for the holiday, because he can't spent hundreds of dollars on totally unnecessary (and often age-inappropriate) toys for our son (who already has more toys than the entire state of California). But I'm keeping the anxiety in check, and generally doing a good job of not letting that anxiety take over and ruin my day. I have my usual back-up plans in place should things go south, and that's good enough for me.
I'm feeling deeply grateful for my program, and for all of you!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
What an inspiration you are Wisconsin!
I too am feeling pretty good. I went out of town over the weekend, no idea if AH drank or not, don't even care. We have a very good friend who changed a prescription from 20 to 40 painpills and got caught. He will lose everything, his job (just became a nurse after years of being an EMT), his wife, his lovely kids, all of it..and may do jail time. My AH was so upset he was crying for his friend and asked our pastor to pray for him yesterday. This is VERY out of character. I think he sees what he is about to lose by his own behavior and sees it for what it is.
All of this being said, I am just carrying on with my day and while I have lots of other things I seem to stress about (mostly financial), I am not letting his BS take over my life. I am enjoying time with my family and friends and not letting any of it ruin what I want to do.
Thank you for sharing. It is nice to hear the good in things on a regular basis!
Great Job!
I too am feeling pretty good. I went out of town over the weekend, no idea if AH drank or not, don't even care. We have a very good friend who changed a prescription from 20 to 40 painpills and got caught. He will lose everything, his job (just became a nurse after years of being an EMT), his wife, his lovely kids, all of it..and may do jail time. My AH was so upset he was crying for his friend and asked our pastor to pray for him yesterday. This is VERY out of character. I think he sees what he is about to lose by his own behavior and sees it for what it is.
All of this being said, I am just carrying on with my day and while I have lots of other things I seem to stress about (mostly financial), I am not letting his BS take over my life. I am enjoying time with my family and friends and not letting any of it ruin what I want to do.
Thank you for sharing. It is nice to hear the good in things on a regular basis!
Great Job!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Wow, what a lovely post, thank you for sharing how well you are doing. It is always great to hear that peeps are managing to have a good life in spite of all the hardships caused by addiction.
Congratulations on _your_ recovery. I hope you get yourself something nice to celebrate your recovery, you have certainly earned it.
Mike
Congratulations on _your_ recovery. I hope you get yourself something nice to celebrate your recovery, you have certainly earned it.
Mike
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